


The Night that Almost Happened

by soulmatecest



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Barebacking, Bottom Jared, Happy Ending, Jealous Jensen, Jensen as Jeff's best friend, M/M, Mpreg, Pining, Possessive Jensen, Shy Jared, Top Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:48:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 62,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4048531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulmatecest/pseuds/soulmatecest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six years ago, Jared Padalecki almost had the best night of his life with his brother’s best friend — and long time crush—, Jensen Ackles. Or that was until Jensen ruined everything arguing that he couldn’t get involved with his best friend’s little brother, unintentionally breaking Jared’s heart and his will to stick around after being rejected. </p><p>Jared uprooted and moved to New York, vowing to never cross paths with Jensen again. Sadly, his efforts go to hell when Jeff and Adrianne’s wedding invitation arrives attached with a big problem: Jensen is his brother’s best man. </p><p>After not being able to completely get over Jensen in the past years, Jared decides that if erasing Jensen from his life didn’t help him forget, then maybe sleeping with him during his brother’s wedding will bring him some sort of closure. But getting someone in bed after ignoring them for six years is no piece of cake, especially when Jared realizes that Jensen has been waiting a long time to see him and this time he’s not letting Jared run away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first year trying the meant-to-be challenge, and I have to say that writing this was too much fun. Jensen as Jeff's best friend has always been one of my favorite plots for J2 fics, so I enjoyed the fuck out of this prompt. If there's something I can promise is possessive-jealous!Jensen galore because of that. 
> 
> I want to give all my love and thanks to [Eris](http://blakecets.tumblr.com), who did a wonderful Beta work in less than a week. This fic wouldn't be a real story without all your help and dedication to correct all my silly mistakes, I owe you everything and can't thank you enough.
> 
> I did some art for the fic as well (because apparently I like to die over deadlines as an author and as an artist too) that you can find [HERE](http://soulmatecest.livejournal.com/) on my LJ.

When Jared opens the invitation on a Sunday night, he knows he’s screwed.

Everyone has been waiting for this to happen for years, and even if Jared should had seen it coming sooner or later, it still makes the lasagna he cooked earlier that day do funny movements in his stomach, suggesting he should take a trip to the bathroom before it makes a reappearance.

He stands in the middle of his living room staring at the light blue envelope, taking in the "A" and "J" laced together in pretty golden font inside of a heart. Jared stares and stares _and stares_ , hoping for his name to either magically disappear or for the envelope to catch on fire.

They had all been expecting it for years, yet Jared is still completely caught off guard.

Jeff got engaged to his high school sweetheart not too long after they graduated, and their wedding has always been just over the horizon. Adrianne has been practically family for years now, Jared met her when he was only ten, a few weeks after she and his older brother first started dating. He can’t imagine life without Adrianne around anymore, and if Jeff ever broke up with her he's pretty sure his family would kick him out and make Adrianne an official Padalecki somehow. Even when he goes to family reunions, Jared talks more to her than he does to Jeff, sometimes even more than to his mom and dad. Adrianne was always going to be his sister-in-law whether she and Jeff ever got married or not.

She’s the one who gave Jared the _real_ talk when he hit puberty — none of that embarrassing parental talk nonsense, Adrianne sat him down and talked about sex toys, porn, condoms, how having one night stands didn’t make Jared a bad person and _yes_ he was allowed to enjoy his sexuality,  and she’s the second person Jared came out of the closet to. And now it's official, Adrianne and Jeff are getting married, for real.

If he thinks about it, it _is_ about time they finally set a date for their wedding, since it's been years in the making. Between Jeff’s work as an orthopedic surgeon and Adrianne’s career as a novelist, they had been a little too distracted to actually plan anything. As long as Adrianne had a ring on her finger they knew it was happening someday, so they had never rushed to start looking for white cakes or fancy invitations.

But the day has finally arrived.

 Written in golden cursive letters, it's the one celebration Jared can’t avoid no matter how much work he alleges to have, how sick he promises his mom he is or how much he claims to be too broke to buy a plane ticket.

  _August 28th._  
_Six o'clock in the evening._  
_Hilton Downtown.  
__Austin, Texas._

Six weeks from now.

Jared runs to his room, almost falling over Sadie on his way there and stepping on his TV remote before he makes it to his bed, crawling on top of the covers and pulling his phone from the charger with a harsh tug. He repeatedly mutters _‘come on, come on, come on’_ under his breath while scrolling through his recent calls. He's holding his breath as he presses the call button, not breathing until he hears the other side pick up.

He drops the bomb before Chad can even say hello.

 _“I’m gonna see Jensen again!”_ Jared yells in an almost panicked voice, holding the phone close to his mouth and starting to breathe hard, free hand raking through his hair compulsively.

He knew it was going to happen eventually, even if the little corner of his head where he had all Jensen-related thoughts tied up and silenced was always quiet and didn’t dare to make a peep, Jared knew there was no way he could get out of this one.

He hears Chad curse at the other side of the call, and he holds the phone away from his ear as Chad’s mouth goes on down with the list of curse words he knows and some made up himself.

“—you cocksucker asshole! You made me spill my fucking dinner all over myself!” Chad huffs and then Jared hears more fumbling before Chad seems to stop and take a deep breath. “Care to tell me why the fuck you're calling me to _yell?"_

“I just did.” Jared repeats, not even a little bit apologetic. Chad has called him countless times at three in the morning to tell him about the crazy acrobatic sex he just had. Jared is entitled to be the inconsiderate friend tonight. He _needs_ to be that friend tonight.

“Then say it again. You exploded my eardrum when I picked up, so I didn’t quite catch that, you whore.” Jared would usually take the opportunity to start a battle over who could come up with the more offensive and creative insult, often stretching beyond ten minutes and resulting in both of them cracking up trying to come up with the worst name for the the other. When he doesn’t and just stays silent, Chad knows something’s up. “Dude, what happened?” He asks again, sarcastic tone gone now.

Jared lets out a sigh, nibbling on his lower lip. He feels like an idiot. He feels like he’s sixteen again living with his parents, waiting for his brother to come home from college just because he might bring a special guest with him. Chad doesn’t say anything the whole time, and they listen to each other breathe for almost two minutes before Jared feels ready to speak again.

“Jensen’s gonna be _there_. I’m going to see him again.”

Chad's immediate _‘fuck’_ is exactly what Jared thought when he saw the invitation. “Jeff and Adrianne finally went for it, huh?”

Jared lets out a long sigh and rolls on the bed so he's lying on his back. He nods, even though Chad can’t see it over the phone, and mumbles ‘ _We were all expecting it’_ in a tired voice that has nothing to do with his brother getting married and everything to do with Jeff’s lifetime best friend.

Jared, as most teenagers ever did, had an embarrassing crush while he was growing up. The difference is that he didn’t care for pretty teachers or the head cheerleader or the cute girl who was his lab partner in seventh grade. He was too busy worshipping the ground Jensen Ackles walked on since he was almost twelve years old.

Of course, at twelve, it wasn’t a problem to always want to follow Jeff and Jensen around and be included in whatever they were doing or want to tag along when they were going out. He was the annoying little brother getting sniffly when Jeff called him a brat and told him he couldn’t go with them to watch the new horror movie or trying not to cry in front of Jensen every time his brother loudly reminded everybody how much of a pain in the ass Jared was.

If Jensen had at least been an ass like his brother back then, maybe Jared’s crush would have faded before he got older. But Jensen never helped Jared tone down those feelings, constantly convincing Jeff to let Jared go with them or going to Jared’s room after there were big fights that made Jared cry to make sure he was okay and to let him know Jeff could be a real idiot sometimes. _“Jeff is an ass. I wish I had a little brother like you”_ , Jensen would say after making sure Jared wasn’t crying anymore, the sweet and considerate bastard.

Jared grew up with Jensen being the nicest best friend Jeff could have had. Allowing Jared to play along with them, making Jared laugh when he was crying, even bringing him ice cream every day for an entire week when Jared had his tonsils removed.

And even if that was all supposed to stop when Jared grew up and left the kid years behind, Jensen never stopped being that sweet caring guy around him, not even when Jeff walked out of his dick-big-brother phase and didn’t have a problem with Jared wanting to go out with them or be around when they were hanging out at the house.

At fifteen, Jared kept his head down and ran away from Jeff every time he heard him walk into the house, knowing Jensen would be right behind him. He tried to speak as little as possible to Jensen when he was at the house, barely made eye contact during dinners, and made sure not to let a soul know that all his awkward boners happened when Jared was thinking about Jensen.

Except for Chad, who only needed to take one look at him when his brother's best friend was around to know that he was ‘beyond fucked’ for Jensen. Jared had tried to deny it for almost an hour, cheeks flushed and tone offended as he assured over and over again that he was _in_ love with his big brother’s best friend.

After a long discussion Chad just gave up, lying on Jared’s bed and rolling his eyes. _“You know it’s not a big fucking deal, right? Sometimes boys like boys. That’s why some guys are carriers. You need another dick to get knocked up, dude.”_ And yes, Jared knew that, he was very good at anatomy class, _thank you very much_ , and he happened to be a carrier himself. “ _And even if you weren’t a carrier, liking whoever you like is not a big fucking deal_.'

Jared knew Austin wasn’t as accepting as other places about it — you would think that guys being able to get pregnant would make gay couples something people would frown upon a lot less, but the world would always have homophobic assholes no matter what, and a lot of them really loved Texas for some reason — and officially coming out would be a big step, even if he was sure his family would be accepting.

But still, it didn’t worry him that much.

The idea of liking boys didn’t really freak him out, it was the idea of his crush being so _obvious_ that Chad only needed a moment to figure it out that truly scared him.

The possibility of Jensen finding out he had been in love with him for years used to made Jared want to throw up and then lock himself in his room so he would never have to look Jensen in the eye again.

“Are you gonna go?” He hears Chad say over the phone, making Jared blink out of his reverie and shake his head, trying to get back into the conversation. Jared wishes he could say no, he really fucking wishes.

“I can’t get out of this one, it’s my brother’s wedding.” He nibbles on his bottom lip, knowing that Jeff would be mad at him for decades if he missed it and his mom would fly up to New York herself and drag him down by his ear if Jared said he wouldn’t go. “It's _Adrianne's_ wedding.” He adds after a moment, feeling like an ass for even thinking of bailing. “I couldn’t do that to them. I mean, Jeff is my brother and I love him but he would live if I didn’t go, even if he gets mad. I can’t do that do Adrianne, though. She would never forgive me. I have to be there.”

Adrianne has always been quite the party person. She loves parties, from planning them to enjoying them more than anyone. Jared knows she's been slowly picking the design of the cake, the dress, the location and every detail since Jeff proposed a while ago. Jared's had time to give his opinions every time they've talked on the phone and the topic came up, when he visited his family sometimes or when she flew to New York with Jeff to visit him. He's been slowly helping her from afar and knows how excited she is about her wedding, as she should be. He doesn't have the heart to say he isn’t going. Adrianne has always been there for him, and he's determined to do the same.

The arrival of the invitation was a surprise, but Adrianne probably had everything ready by the time they set an official date. Jared wouldn’t be surprised if they actually decided to finally pick a date a month ago.

“Then you’re going.” Chad repeats, in a voice that sounds way too concerned to be talking about a goddamn party with cake, music and tons of alcohol.

“And you’re coming with me.” Jared adds in a heartbeat, sitting heavily on the bed. “Dude, you _have_ to come with me. I can’t fucking go alone Chad, I swear to God you have to—”

“Relax, man. Of course I’m going with you. Wouldn’t fucking let you see Ackles’ face again without some moral support.” He hears Chad take a breath close to the phone and he supposes he’s smoking as they speak. Chad’s been trying to lay off on the cigarettes and lately he only smokes when he’s stressed or worried, which means he’s taking this just as seriously as Jared is, and Jared appreciates that to a level he probably can’t express with words. He feels bad for making Chad smoke, but he would be lost if he didn’t have his best friend on this. “Also, Adrianne always said that when the wedding actually happened, she would only send an invitation to you because she knew you would take me as your ‘plus one’ anyway.”

That makes Jared’s stomach turn again.

“Great, even my sister-in-law knows I’m a fucking loser who can’t bring a real date to her wedding.” She isn’t wrong, Adrianne knows him enough to guess that Jared would take Chad with him over any guy he had been dating. Adrianne and Chad had clicked since they met years ago and they could spend hours talking and laughing at things Jared never found funny or interesting. Taking Chad is almost a rule. She would make Jared go back to New York and get him if Jared dared to show up to the wedding without Chad.

But it's still a little offensive to completely take away the possibility that Jared could be dating someone and it could be serious enough for Jared to want to introduce him to his family.

He’s not, of course. But that's not the point. It’s about principle, about giving Jared some credit.

“You don’t even have anyone to fucking take with you.”

“Thanks, Chad. You always pick the best words to say to me when I’m feeling down.”

Chad snorts at the other end of the phone. “Shut up. Would you rather have Adrianne sending me a separate invitation and having to call to your house to tell them all you don’t need the plus one because you’re going alone?”

Jared mopes and looks down, snapping his fingers at Sadie in an attempt to get her to hop up on the bed with him. “No. That sounds even worse.”

“Exactly. If anybody asks you can say you had _someone_ you were thinking about bringing but you had to drag my amazing ass back to Texas because there ain’t no fuckin’ party unless _The Chad_ is there. _And_ deep down Adrianne loves me more than Jeff and needed to see the love of her life one last time before giving up and settling for someone else.” That makes Jared let out a loud laugh and Sadie comes running to him at the sound, happily curling up by his side on the bed as Jared pets her head slowly. “It actually sounds better this way, Jay. You can tell them you've been getting huge dick from a Brazilian model but couldn’t bring him because I was too essential to the wedding to be left out.”

 Jared keeps laughing, louder and louder as Chad keeps talking, with Sadie barking at the sound and licking Jared’s face before he can pull away.

“Huge dick from a Brazilian model? First of all, I wish.” Jared snorts and heads to the bathroom to clean his face. He left Sadie with Chad for three weeks when she was a puppy and somehow Chad taught her to slobber all over people’s faces when they were laughing. To this day he still has no idea how the fuck he taught her that trick. “Second, my family doesn’t need to know the size of the fake-dick I’m not getting.”

“The details of a lie is what makes it more convincing, man. Tell them the guy’s cock is so thick it looks like a Pepsi can.”

Jared laughs at that hard enough to have Sadie running to the bathroom, barking and jumping around him while Jared leans against a wall, cackling with his mouth pressed against the phone until he feels like he can’t breathe.

He walks back to his room when he feels able to walk without breaking into laughter again, swearing he will never be able to drink Pepsi again after Chad makes a very graphic allegory comparing the soda to come and how Jared always likes to drink every fucking drop.

“You’re delusional, Chad. Who would be able to take a dick the size of a soda can? That’s not even possible.” Jared says as he sits back on his bed, fingers trailing the borders of the blue envelope he'd dropped onto his pillow.

“Haven’t you seen that video of the twink riding a horse dildo? I think the human asshole is capable of amazing things if you believe in yourself with all your heart.”

Jared barks out another laugh, shaking his head. He was right about calling Chad as soon as he saw the wedding invitation.

He still has no idea what he's going to do. He knows he's going to the wedding, there’s no doubt about that. He can’t be selfish and miss his brother and Adrianne’s most important day just because he has a personal problem with his brother’s best friend. Besides, he has no excuse to give his family at the moment, he's already missed Christmas over this two years in a row. Jared falls silent again, the light mood from Chad’s jokes dissipating even if Jared wishes it could stay so he doesn't have to think about this. Chad doesn’t pressure him to keep talking and Jared simply hears him breathe and smoke through his receiver.

Jared opens the envelope and takes out the invitation, his heart starting to beat a little too fast. There's no need, not like Jensen is going to jump out of the invitation and make him face something he hasn’t dealt with in years. He’s at his apartment, miles away from Jensen and everything he wanted to leave behind when he moved from Austin.

The invitation screams Adrianne from every inch and that manages to make Jared smile. He knows Jeff doesn’t care too much about details like this so he probably let her pick everything.

“What am I going to do, Chad?” He asks after staring at the nice card that enumerates the date and location for the wedding, probably six o'clock so they get time to come back from the church and make sure everything is ready at the hotel. Jared traces the words _‘Austin, Texas’_ with his index finger, trying to understand how is he going to get up the nerve to even take the plane back home. “I haven’t seen Jensen in _years_. I haven’t seen him even once since the night it almost happened.”

“I know, man.” Chad clicks his tongue, and he sounds worried too. He knows the whole story, has heard it million times, maybe even remembers the details better than Jared does. “What if he doesn’t go? He lives in Dallas, right? Maybe he won’t be there...” He’s trying to sound hopeful for his sake, but Jared knows he shouldn’t hold his breath for it.

“He’s Jeff’s best friend. They went to high school together, they went to college together. They’re both doctors and Jensen makes time in his schedule as often as possible to fly back to Austin to hang out with him. He’s _not_ gonna miss Jeff’s wedding.” Goddamn Jensen for being such a fucking great friend. Mister perfect Ackles couldn’t let his friendship die once he got a great job offer in Dallas. Oh no. He had to be there for birthdays and Christmas and New Year’s. “Can’t he like, make another fucking friend or something? I swear there are other people in Dallas too.”

“You would think he would get tired of flying his ass back to Austin every goddamn chance he gets. Aren’t doctors supposed to be busy as fuck or some shit?”

“Exactly. _Thank you_." Jared huffs, knowing he’s acting like a brat. But he’s allowed to. Jensen going to Austin always meant that Jared wasn’t going to set a foot there until Jensen was long gone again. It was a rule now, if Jensen was there, Jared wasn’t. Not that _anyone_ apart from Chad and Adrianne knew it was on purpose — Jensen obviously realized too, but who the fuck cared if he noticed how Jared had been purposely avoiding him for almost six years. Jared’s family probably thought it was a coincidence or hadn’t made the connections that when Jensen was there, Jared was missing. Every single time.

Every year, whenever an important event was going to happen in his family Jared called Adrianne in advance to know if Jensen was going to be there or not. She would always have an answer since Jeff had to call Jensen in advance so he could book a flight.

If Jensen decided to go to whatever it was, Jared would always have an excuse ready for his mom when she called to invite him.

_"Too much work, Mama. I can’t leave in the middle of the week just like that, I’m sorry.”_

_“Last month was kind of harsh so I’m saving every penny to pay for everything, I can’t afford a plane ticket right now. No, no, you don’t have to pay for it, don’t worry.”_  

_“I already promised Chad I would go with him to his dad’s birthday. Yes, I will tell Mr. Murray you said hello, Mom.”_

So far in six years Jared had used so many excuses that he was running out of them. He had been busy with work, busy with extra work, busy helping Chad moving to a new apartment or had another trip already planned someplace else. He had had food poisoning after going to eat seafood with Milo and Sandy, had the worst flu of his life, dislocated his shoulder playing basketball with Chad, broke his ankle walking down the stairs on a morning he was rushing to work, couldn’t leave Sadie alone or had already convinced Adrianne to come with Jeff to New York instead.

There was even a deeply embarrassing time when Jensen told Jeff he couldn’t go to one of their cousins’ sweet sixteen party only to show up at the last minute because he finished up his work early and caught a plane by pure luck. Adrianne called Jared to let him know in advance when he was already at the Bergstrom airport in Austin trying to take a cab to go his old house.

Jared had walked back into the airport and took another flight back to New York right away.

He called his dad that afternoon to tell him he slept past his alarm in the morning and couldn’t catch the flight, talked to his cousin on his phone and apologized for not being there, promising to send her a great present via FedEx the next day and then suffered through Adrianne laughing at him and teasing him non-stop over the phone for twenty minutes.

It was almost an over-reaction, pretty damn extreme, in fact, the lengths Jared would go to avoid seeing Jensen. He felt absolutely ridiculous every time he thought about it too hard, so he mainly didn’t dwell on it. Jared  was grateful that even if Chad, Adrianne, Sandy and Milo knew his reasons and lightly joked at his expense, they always had his back and never judged him or made him feel bad about it.

They know how much of a big deal it was for him and how miserable Jared had been after the night he almost slept with Jensen.

“Don’t worry about it, Jay. We’ll find a way to work it out.” Chad promises on the phone as Jared starts to get ready for bed, his mood to do anything else that night completely ruined. “We’ll meet tomorrow at the coffee shop and figure it out, all right? It’ll be okay, man.”

Jared wasn’t sure any of that could be true, but he still thanked Chad and hung up, turning in his bed with the wedding invitation lying face down on his bedside table. He stared at it for hours without being able to fall asleep, and when he finally did, Jared dreamed about arriving in Austin just to find out Jensen was the one getting married to someone whose face Jared couldn’t see.

 

—

 

 _The night that almost happened_ —  named that way by Jared when he was seventeen years old, give him a break — was the code name Jared used to refer to the night where he almost got everything he wanted with Jensen before getting his stupid teenage illusions crashing down right in front of his face.

Jensen and Jeff were home from college that weekend, and it turned out Jeff was planning a surprise birthday party for Jensen.

That was the real reason why they were there, but Jensen knew a slightly different version about their parents needing help moving some new furniture into Jeff’s old room which they were finally turning into a studio, so they were only staying to help out to move things in and out. Jensen — being the kind of really good friend that made Jared like him even more, _goddamn him_ — had no problem coming with Jeff to offer some help as well. 

They were both about to graduate from college and Jeff had already announced he and Adrianne were getting an apartment together.

Jensen was going for a doctorate in Physical Therapy as his next step and Jeff was going to specialize arthroscopic surgery since he liked sports medicine.

They had their lives more than planned and organized by that point, while Jared was barely starting. He had graduated from high school that year, and had been accepted to Columbia University with a full scholarship to study engineering. Chad was accepted as well — even if his best friend was convinced he would _never_ get in and was already settling down for other options when he got his acceptance letter —  and he was going to study architecture and room with Jared.

At first Jared had been thinking about going to school somewhere in Texas, not so far away from home, but after applying and getting that full ride and knowing Chad would be there with him, he chose Columbia over the rest of them.

He had been sad for weeks thinking about being away from home, from his parents, Jeff and Megan.

 _And Jensen_.

He didn’t exactly have anything going on with him, even if his crush was still alive and kicking in the back of his brain every single day. He felt a little more confident at that age, knowing there was no need to shy away from Jensen when he never stood a chance in the first place. Jared couldn’t stop his feelings for him, but he could at least be around Jensen as a friend. And with Jensen studying so close Jared could see him more than regularly, talk to him, sometimes even hang out with him.

His chances to be around Jensen and act casually around him increased as they both grew up.

Like sitting with him and Jeff to watch movies in at the Padalecki’s house livingroom — eating popcorn and making fun of Jeff’s obsession with Scarlett Johansson —  as they were doing the night of Jensen’s surprise party. They had finished helping move in all the furniture for the new studio hours ago and were taking a well deserved break.

Jared already knew the plan by memory. Jeff was going to leave at seven, saying Adrianne needed something at her house, and Jensen was going to stay there with Jared and keep watching the movie. Meanwhile Jeff would go finish preparing everything and make sure everybody was at the bar they reserved just for the party, and then drive back to invite Jensen to go out and do something else. Then he would drive Jensen to the bar and they would party till the sun came up.

Jared was only the little helper boy, of course, supposed to stay with Jensen watching the movie to keep him company. He wasn’t invited to the actual party because he wasn’t old enough to get in the bar.

He didn’t mind too much — he did want to go to the party, _it was Jensen’s_ , but no way Jeff was sneaking him into the bar, their parents would kill them — because he got to hang out with Jensen for a while.

That was something, right? He hadn’t seen Jensen since his graduation a month before, when Jensen showed up with Jeff right on time to see him get his diploma, giving him a hug that left Jared breathless and with a silly smile on his for hours afterward. He didn’t gave Jared money, like most of his friends and family did; Jensen’s gift was an antique compass that had a quote engraved on the back. ‘ _Go confidently in the direction of your dreams’._ Jensen had given him a proud smile when Jared read it out loud.

“It’s a little cheesy,” he’d said with a shrug “But I really wanted it give that to you.”

He had hugged Jared again and whispered “I know you’re gonna do great, Jay. Gonna miss you when you leave for New York,” and Jared had to bite his tongue to hold back some tears, hugging Jensen back for as long as Jensen let the contact last.

For Jensen that  was probably about his best friend’s little brother graduating, almost a little-brother-by-proxy since he saw Jared grow up. For Jared that moment meant _everything._

And thanks to Jeff’s surprise party, Jared could be with Jensen alone for almost two hours. He wasn’t supposed to leave for New York until August, so he still had plenty of time to see Jensen again before that happened, but not quite like this, so Jared was beyond excited.

It was dumb and embarrassing, but Jared still dressed up in new clothes he bought just for that night. _He got clothes to be the lame distraction_. They were going to be watching a movie with the lights off and Jensen wouldn't give a damn about his clothes, but Jared still went for it and thought it was totally worth it when Jensen got to the house with Jeff that day and complimented Jared’s shirt.

And just as planned, at six o’clock Jeff got a text from Adrianne, right when as Jared was setting up Fight Club in the living room’s DVD player and Jensen was paying for the pizza they'd ordered.

“Oh, come on!” Jeff complained, looking at his phone with a fake annoyed face that almost made Jared laugh. His brother couldn’t act to save his life, but he was at least trying to sound convincing. “I’m telling you, Adrianne always does this. I love that woman but she needs to stop sensing when I’m about to watch a movie to ask me for a favor. Is the third time this month.”

Jensen laughed from the door, taking his change from the delivery guy and walking back in as he opened the pizza box to steal the first slice. “What happened? Maybe we can hold on until you get back.” He turned to look at Jared, who nodded.

“Sure, but only for the movie. I’m not making any promises with the pizza.”

“Little brat.” Jeff pulled Jared’s hair as he walked past him and Jared pushed him away with a laugh.

“I’m with Jared on this one. Me and him are eating this right away." Jensen dodged Jeff when he tried to get a slice for himself, easily getting away and going to sit on the couch, tapping the spot next to him twice and looking at Jared. “C’mere, Jay. Jeff can go steal food from Adrianne’s house. I’m not sharing my pizza with someone who calls you a brat.”

Jared laughed again and tried to not blush at that, his heart doing an embarrassing jump in his chest at Jensen defending him from Jeff. It happened quite often, almost like a second nature since Jeff used to be a dick to Jared for real when they were kids, but it still made Jared melt like butter.

“I’m your best friend and you always side up with my little brother.” Jeff rolled his eyes and looked for the keys to his car, flipping Jensen off when he opened the box for Jared to get a slice of pizza when he sat down on the couch too.

“I only befriended you so I could spend time with Jared. That was my master plan all along.” Jensen said with a satisfied smile, flipping Jeff off right back and placing his arm around Jared’s shoulder, pulling him close. “So far, so good.”

Jared knew it was just Jensen being funny, just something to go along with the joke. It wasn’t true and the touch didn't mean anything, but it still managed to make his toes curl inside of his shoes. He leaned back into Jensen’s touch, hoping he wouldn’t notice too much. Jensen smelled good, always did, he used some really damn good cologne. Jared had no idea of the name of it, but he always recognized it on Jensen.

“Whatever, man. We all know I’m the better-looking Padalecki anyway,” Jeff walked out of the living room, twirling the keys on his fingers. “There better be some pizza when I get back!” He shouted from the door before closing it, and Jared had to keep in mind he only had amazing two hours to spend alone with Jensen before his brother was back. Two hours of watching a movie and eating pizza, but that was enough for him.

“No you’re not!” Jensen shouted back. “And don’t count on it, asshole!”

He leaned back on the couch laughing, and to Jared’s surprise, he didn’t take his arm away. It wasn’t exactly on his shoulders anymore, it was over the couch, but it was still around Jared and Jensen's fingers were lightly brushing Jared’s shoulder. The pizza box was on Jensen’s lap, so Jared had to purposely lean closer when he wanted a new slice, and that allowed him to slowly decrease the space between them.

Jensen didn’t seem to notice or care, leaving his arm behind Jared’s neck and pressing his knee against Jared’s when they were close enough.

Jensen was the perfect company to watch movies. He didn’t talk the entire time or make unnecessary comments, he only mentioned opinions here or there and lightly discussed the plot with Jared during slow parts before going silent again when the next scene started. He wasn’t too noisy when he was eating and only smiled at Jared’s exclamations of surprise every time something interesting happened, when all his family usually found it annoying.

He also put his phone on vibrate during movies so it's ringing would never disrupt a movie session, which Jared should have probably with his own. His phone lit up and the message tone began to sound forty-five minutes into the movie. Jared cursed and looked down, mumbling “I’m sorry” and throwing Jensen and apologetic look. Jensen paused the movie, saying Jared should check in case it was from Jeff or his parents, who were out with Megan for the rest of the night to visit his aunt.

No way it was Jeff, he would have called instead of texted since Jensen could see the screen and read something about a party. He thought it could be Chad, but when Jared opened his phone it turned out it wasn’t his best friend.

Jared stared at his phone, nibbling on his lower lip and deciding if he should text back or not.

Jensen looked curiously at him, closing the pizza box and leaving it on his lap. “So, is it Jeff?” he asked curiously. “Still bitching about the damn pizza?”

Jared shook his head and brushed the bangs out of his eyes, still looking at the screen of his cell phone. “Uh, not really. Do you remember the guy I went to prom with?”

Jared had come out almost a year before, two weeks after turning sixteen. Just as he expected, his family was nothing but supportive. He had a couple relatives who didn’t talk much to him at reunions after the news spread, but his main family, the people Jared cared for, were one hundred percent accepting. Jensen had been as well, and Jared’s little fear of Jensen’s attitude changing around him disappeared quickly, since Jensen behaved like he always did even after he found out, and told Jared he was proud of him for taking that step. Because of that, it wasn’t a surprise when Jared decided to go with a guy for his school prom. Chad went Sophia — and they broke up that night, thing that Chad thought as very refined cliché on their part, breaking up on prom night— and all four of them went to dinner together before getting to their prom.

“ _Oh_ , sure,” Jensen said with a voice that almost sounded bored out of nowhere, looking back to the screen. “Stefan?”  
  
“ _Stephen_ ,” Jared corrected, squinting at Jensen and then back at his phone. Stephen Amell, his advanced chemistry partner. He was really nice, but Jared had been surprised when Stephen asked him to go with him to prom, months ago. They barely talked when they weren’t at class.

“Right. _Stephen_.” Jensen repeated in a voice even more bored than before, rolling Stephen’s name on his tongue in a way that exaggerated it and make it sound a little ridiculous. “He’s texting you? Man, he’s probably really into you. Prom was months ago, way to go Jay.”

“We went out a couple times after that.” Jared shrugged, not making a big deal out of it. But that got Jensen's attention, making him looking back at Jared as he continued. “I mean, we’re not dating or exclusive or anything. He’s going back to Vancouver and I’m going to New York, so we’re— you know, we’re just hanging out before we both have to leave.” He suddenly felt very nervous under Jensen’s stare, worried that his reasons weren’t good enough. Not that he owed any reasons to Jensen, but the way he was looking at Jared made him feel like he definitely had to justify this to him. “It’s— it’s nothing, he wanted to go out tonight.”

Jensen kept staring, goddamn staring at Jared for almost too long before nodding, taking a bite of his pizza and leaning against the couch again. “That’s good, that you both know it's a temporary deal. Otherwise one of you could end really hung up on the other, and that'd be shit 'cause heartbreak is a bitch to deal with.”

Jared knew Jensen had one girlfriend during high school and then two more during college, and he met all of them, but also knew Jensen was always the one who ended the relationships. So, he probably wasn't talking about being heartbroken from personal experience. From what he had seen and heard Jeff say, Jensen wasn’t one to get too attached to his girlfriends.

“But hey, don’t let me keep you here.” Jensen pointed at him with the pizza before taking two more bites and finishing it, not talking again until he was done chewing. “If you wanna go out tonight you should go, I can wait for Jeff to come back while I keep watching the movie on my own.”

“No, no!” Jared protested, in a louder voice than necessary. “I— I wanna stay here and watch the movie. R-Really, I can see Stephen any other night. I wanna watch Fight Club.”

“Jay, we watch Fight Club at least twice a year. And it’s your DVD.” Jensen said with a rye smile, and Jared stared at his mouth a little too long before blinking and looking away.

“I— I know” Jared stuttered, trying to find a reason why he would rather stay home with Jensen doing this than go out with Stephen. It had nothing to do with Stephen, he was nice and made Jared laugh and always let him decide where to go or what to do. They'd also had pretty good make out sessions twice so far— Stephen was a really good kisser— but Jared wanted to stay here and press himself closer to Jensen watching the movie and eating pizza. And also because of the party and his duties in keeping Jared occupied, that part too. Sure, _whatever_.

“I— uh, I wanna stay,” Jared repeated slowly. “Sometimes, we— we get pretty intense when we’re alone and I t-think he wants us to sleep together, but I don’t know yet.”

 _‘Where the fuck did that came from?’_ Jared thought, looking at Jensen with the same surprised face he was giving him. That wasn't the truth. At all. Stephen and him only made out, a lot sure, but they never did anything else. The most ‘pretty intense’ they ever got was probably laying down on Stephen’s bed while kissing and touching each other over clothes and above the waist once.

“Wait.” Jensen put the pizza box on the coffee table and turned his entire body, facing Jared with the same worried expression. He started to frown then, and his voice lost all its nice tone. “He’s not pressuring you into doing anything, right? If he’s trying to make you do something you don’t want to I’ll break his face myself.”

Jared felt bad for Stephen, he was a really nice guy and didn't deserve Jared spreading lies about him, it was wrong. Just as wrong at how much he was enjoying the open admission that Jensen would hurt someone if they ever tried to force Jared into something he wasn’t comfortable with. He really liked it, it made him want to pull Jensen’s face close and erase his memories of Stephen’s kisses by replacing them with Jensen’s.

“No, don’t worry. Stephen isn't like that. He’s not forcing me into anything.” Jared assured right away, and that made Jensen visibly relax. Jared liked that Jensen had this protective side, but he wasn't going to make Stephen get his nose broken because Jared had a stupid crush. “I’m just nervous about it, being uh— you know,” Jared shrugged and blushed, looking down at his hands “Being the first time and all…”

It wasn’t a secret that Jared was a virgin, and he wasn’t trying to pretend to be an expert in front of Jensen. He had already started this sex talk out of nowhere, so he might as well tell the truth in part of it.

Jensen cleared his throat and nodded, eyes still fixed on Jared. “Of course, it’s normal that you’re nervous for your first time. We all were when it happened.” Jared kind of wanted to ask how it was for Jensen, but at the same time he didn’t want to know about Jensen kissing and _fucking_ people who got all Jared ever wanted. “But if you don’t feel ready you shouldn’t do it.” Jensen insisted with a stern voice, and Jared could tell he was worried Jared would end up breaking under peer pressure.

The pressure didn’t exist in the first place— he and Stephen hadn't even talked about blowing each other. But the truth was, well, Jared knew he didn’t have a chance with Jensen and he liked Stephen quite a lot. If he had the chance, he would probably sleep with him for real. Jared never had any romantic notions of his first time being with the love of his life on the night of his wedding, he always knew that as long as he liked the guy he was game.

Sadly, he had only truly liked Jensen for years and there was no game for Jared there.

“It’s— it’s not like I’m not ready.” Jared shook his head again and closed the phone, thinking he could tell Stephen he was out with family a little later. “I think I want to.” Jared added with a whisper, peeking at Jensen before looking away. “I’m just nervous.”

Jensen turned off the TV and put the remote away, and Jared knew he had to turn and look at him now. This was officially a serious conversation about his sex life, with Jensen. _How did the nice evening of watching movies turn into this again?_

“You want to have sex with him?” Jensen asked in a serious tone, repeating the words very slowly, like he wanted to make absolutely sure Jared meant the meaning behind them. Why couldn’t Jared have just said it was Chad and moved on.

“Well, what’s wrong with it?” Jared replied, shrugging and feeling defensive. Not like it was a crime or something. “I’m already seventeen, and I know Jeff and Adrianne did it when they were younger than that.” He shot back, looking for a way to take that expression off of Jensen’s face. “I’m not a kid, you know? It would be fine if I wanted to sleep with Stephen. He’s nice and funny and good looking. I just said I was a little bit nervous, not that I didn’t want to.”

Jared finished and crossed his arms, huffing and feeling his face burning hot. As he repeated what he said in his head, he slowly realized this wasn’t about him and Stephen. It was more about Jensen being so surprised at the idea of Jared wanted to have sex, or Jared having sex in general. He didn’t like the idea of still being a kid in Jensen’s eyes. Sure, he was five year older than him but _still_. Jared was mature and responsible and knew what he wanted.

And if he wanted sex, Jensen shouldn’t find it a damn surprise.

Because it only confirmed how much of a kid he thought Jared was and how he would never think of Jared _that way._ The way Jared thought of Jensen.

Jensen was still looking a little disgruntled. He wasn’t exactly mad, but Jared could easily read the tension and slight disagreement in his face. He was far for being completely okay with everything Jared was saying, and it made Jared want to puff his chest out and keep repeating how bad he wanted sex and how if it didn’t happen with Stephen, then it was going to happen soon with somebody else.

Jensen was reacting just like Jeff would do and it was hurting Jared, they were close and he was Jeff’s little brother, sure, but he was _not_ Jensen’s little brother and didn’t want Jensen thinking about him as _little Jay_ who should stay pure and innocent for the rest of his life.

“I never said there was anything wrong with it, Jared.” Jensen finally spoke again, sighing after a moment and running his fingers through his short hair, looking like was trying to find the right words. “I’m glad you like him, I guess. And there’s nothing wrong with your age, I _know_ you’re not a kid.” Jensen made eye contact with him when he said it, and it made Jared feel a little better and proud of himself. “But you still didn’t answer my question when you said all that.”

Jared opened his mouth, ready to argue, and then slowly closed it again.

“Do you want to have sex with _him_?” Jensen repeated, and now Jared got what he meant. He wasn’t asking about Jared’s decision if he wanted to have sex _in general_. Jensen meant if Jared wanted it to be _with Stephen._

Jared licked his lips slowly and then shook his head, wanting to look away from Jensen but not being able to.

“I want to have sex.” Jared repeated in a whisper, part of him wishing Jensen wouldn’t hear him. Jared was a teenager who only had a shared computer and his own hand. Of course he wanted to have sex, God, and most of the time all he could think about was having sex with his big brother’s best friend on every surface of the house. Even right on the couch they were sitting on. Jensen and Jared’s hormones were hand in hand, almost soulmates by this point. “But if I could choose, it wouldn’t exactly be with him.”

Jensen frowned and moved closer, putting his hand on Jared’s knee before Jared even registered he was moving. “What do you mean if you could choose? Jared, you _can_ choose who your first time is with. It doesn’t _have_ to be him.”

Jared snorted, and it came out more sarcastic than he meant “I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but I don’t exactly have ten thousand guys waiting at my door.”

“Yeah, because most of the time you don’t notice when other guys look at you.” Jared rolled his eyes, knowing Jensen was playing nice now, but when Jensen squeezed his knee it made him jolt on the couch and pay full attention again, cheeks going red once more. “I’m not lying, Jared. Jeff says it all the time. It's almost a blessing for him how oblivious you can be about it. And, I gotta say, I’m right there with him.” Jensen shot him a little smile, and that combined with the hand on his leg made heat start to pool low in Jared’s belly. “Can’t help but be glad, we would have been kicking lots of asses if you did notice how often guys do more than look at you.”

Jared gave him a confused stare  and Jensen's smile changed to a more bitter one. “Adrianne likes to say they _eye fuck you_. But I find that a really irritating way of explaining it.” He said through his teeth, body tensing on the couch.

 _What in hell?_ Adrianne knew guys apparently eye fucked him and she never said a word? Well, fuck, Jared was going to have a very extended conversation with his sister-in-law about this. Because if an attractive guy gave him eyes and apparently Jared was too oblivious to know, he would want someone pointing it out for him.

“So you do have different chances,” Jensen insisted, pulling Jared out of his angry thoughts towards Adrianne. Chad better not be part of the group who saw this and never told him. “It doesn’t have to be with _Stephen_. It can be with somebody else.” And there it was again, Jensen’s weird way to pronounce Stephen’s name that made it sound silly. “I know you want to try it out, and you're mature enough to make your own choice about this. But my piece of advice is that the more you truly like the guy? The less nervous you will feel. You’ll be so comfortable you'll want nothing but to take that step with him.”

Jared was looking at that person right now. The more Jensen talked about Jared being comfortable with someone and wanting someone that bad only worked to convince Jared of how bad he wanted it all to be with Jensen. Because Jensen was that person already.

“Yeah but that guy doesn’t want to be with me.”

It left Jared’s mouth without any permission from his head. He heard himself saying it when it was too late, and Jared smacked a hand over his mouth right away, widening his eyes and backing away to the other side of the couch.

_No fuking way he just said that._

“What?” Jensen said, looking just as surprised. “You already like someone that much? And it’s not Stephen? What the fuck, Jay. You’re in love with someone and didn’t tell me?!”

Jared almost drowned a scream in his hand when Jensen used the word ‘love’ in it, but only because it was true. He shook his head violently, palm still covering his own mouth.

“Yes you do!” Jensen practically howled, starting to give him a big teasing smirk, which could only mean one thing. “And you’re gonna tell me who is it right now!”

Jensen moved on the couch way too fast for Jared to have a chance to even run. Jensen used to do all kind of sports back in high school, and kept going for a while in college before all his classes and work took up too much if his time. Jared only had his debate and theater clubs on his side to help him overskill Jensen, which meant he was screwed. Jensen used to not take advantage of how fast he could run or how being in the wrestling team for a year gave him the knowledge of how to pin someone down in less that ten seconds, especially not with Jared. He would usually display that with Jeff when they were both much younger and liked to fight all over the house.

Jared was only at the receiving end of it when they were joking around, like right then. Jensen was on top of Jared in a blink, fingers going to press into Jared’s sides and stomach, tickling him like he would do when Jared was ten and stole one of Jeff’s video games so they would pay attention to him. Jensen liked to do this instead of letting Jeff pull Jared’s hair until Jared was crying and giving them back their games while Jeff threatened he was going to tell their mom when she was back from work.

Jared took a sharp breath when he felt two of Jensen's fingers digging against his ribs, hiccupping a loud laugh as he moved his hand from his mouth to try to move Jensen away, pushing him by his shoulders. They hadn’t done that in years, maybe since Jared was fourteen. Jensen hadn’t had a reason to do it for awhile, but without anyone else there and Jared talking about a personal problem like he used when he was younger it looked appropriate again. Like falling in an old habit they'd never wanted to stop in the first place.

Jensen must have had a very good memory, since he knew exactly where to poke and pinch Jared to have him red from laughter and screaming for mercy in three minutes, kicking and trying to keep Jensen away while Jensen leaned forward and demanded the name of the guy Jared was in love with. He was on top of and all over Jared by that point, one knee in between Jared’s legs and face close so Jared could hear his demands over his loud laughs.

“I can do this all night, Jared!” Jensen warned with a wicked smile, pressing in the middle of Jared’s stomach and making him squirm on the sofa.

He wasn’t sure at what point he stopped using his hands to cover himself from Jensen’s tickles and started to try to tickle Jensen back. It was a lost cause, but it was worth a shot. In less than a minute Jensen had both of Jared’s wrists pinned over his head with one hand while he kept tickling him with the other.

“Fuck your wrestling team!” Jared managed to yell in between giggles, still trying to kick, his stomach hurting from how much Jensen made him laugh. He was breathing hard and could feel Jensen’s accelerated breath when he leaned down and pressed their chests close. Jared tried to not blink, wanting to memorize how Jensen looked like this. Hair messy and big smile while he had Jared pinned under him.

“Don’t even try, you used to go to cheer for me. You loved that team.” Jensen snickered, stopping pinching Jared’s sides just to flick Jared’s nose, pulling his hand away when Jared tried to bite it. “Playing dirty, are we, Padalecki?”

Jared took deep breaths and Jensen let him catch his breath without the threat of a new tickle-assault. “Me?” He said with an innocent voice. “You’re the one who tackled me and made me cry. You’re awful.”

“Cry from laughter, maybe.” Jensen used his free hand to finish cleaning the almost dry trail on Jared’s cheek, thumb catching the tear and sweeping it away. Jared was always one to tear up when he laughed too much, and Jensen tickling him managed to do that every single time.

Jared felt his face heat up at the touch, but he still smiled up at Jensen, just to feel him pressing his thumb against his dimple. “Don’t you dare pull the big dimples guns out. That’s unfair.”

“Excuse me but I believe all is fair in love and war. John Lyly said it himself back in 1579 and it’s still true.”

“Well, John Lyly can suck my dick. Because your dimples are always unfair, Jay.”

That made Jared squawk another embarrassingly loud laugh, throwing his head back and mildly fidgeting under Jensen. It was in that moment he realized he was flirting with Jensen. All this, the joking and teasing and closeness. He was flirting with Jensen for the first time in his life _and Jensen was flirting back_. He was smiling down at Jared, hand still on his cheek, talking about his dimples and holding down his arms on the couch so Jared stayed there under him.

His body felt warmer at the realization, and he completely stopped fighting Jensen’s hold, but that didn’t stop Jensen from keeping him pinned down. Jared felt like he could explode from how happy this was making him. He could almost imagine how it would be, if Jensen liked him back and they got together, how they would play like this during dates and Jared would be allowed to turn this into less tickling and more kissing and touching and it would be completely okay. Jensen would follow along and they would fool around until Jeff got there. Jared could easily picture the entire thing.

“Well...more reasons to use them, right?” Jared smiled again, and pressed his face into Jensen’s hand. “Maybe they'll let me get away with this.”

Jensen clicked his tongue, making a disappointed noise. “No way, Jay.” He leaned down and didn’t stop until their noses were almost touching and Jared widened his eyes and stayed very still beneath him. “Not going anywhere until you tell me who this guy is. Gotta know so I can keep an eye on him, in case I have to break his nose.”

“My hero.” Jared intended it to sound sarcastic, but it came out almost like a sigh. Like he really mean it.

“Exactly. Now, you’re gonna tell me who is it?”

Jared fell silent, hearing Jensen’s quick breathing along with his own, their chests touching as they rose and fell. His eyes moved over Jensen’s face, following the trail of freckles and the shape of his mouth, blinking back up just to find Jensen studying him the exact same way.

He was never going to find someone like Jensen, was he? He would date people in college, he could even get a steady boyfriend. But Jensen? He was always going to be there, alive in Jared’s head. No matter what. Jensen and his long lashes, Jensen and his bad mood in the mornings unless he had strong coffee — even as a teenager, Jensen hugging him the day he graduated, longer than everybody else did, Jensen bringing him ice cream for a week when Jared has his tonsils removed, Jensen letting him hang out with him and Jeff, Jensen letting him use his car when he was learning how to drive, Jensen pressing him down on the couch and smiling at Jared in a way that made his stomach turn inside out.

There was no way Jared could ever get over his big brother’s best friend.

“I think you already know that.” Jared whispered, low and sincere, looking into Jensen’s eyes and he could see it as the realization slowly dawned over Jensen, but this time Jared didn’t regret saying it. He wasn’t going to cover his mouth or come up with another lie. It felt like the right time to say it, with them alone and Jensen joking with him, flirting with him. Jared owed to himself to tell Jensen in a moment like that, when he felt comfortable and happy and couldn’t get enough of Jensen.

He kept looking up, waiting for Jensen to pull away and make them sit down again.

Instead, he got Jensen letting go of his wrists and bringing his other hand down to cup his face and press a kiss against his lips.

_Jensen had kissed him, he started it, he was fucking kissing him._

Jared lost no time into kissing Jensen back, not letting himself freeze on the spot or not react on time to enjoy the kiss. He kicked his brain back in function as soon as he felt Jensen’s soft lips pressing against his mouth, kissing back eagerly and sloppy, wanting too much and too fast at the same time.

It was like Jared was starving, latching onto the kiss and not letting Jensen's mouth go, pulling back slightly to breathe again when he was completely out of breath, but softly biting Jensen's lower lip so he couldn’t move away, trying to start a new kiss as soon as possible.

The kiss was more messy than anything, and Jared had a good amount of practice time with Stephen, so he knew how to kiss. But it was like Jensen made his mind and skills go blind, leaving him dizzy and confused with pure want.

Jared wanted and wanted and _wanted_. And Jensen was finally giving something, so he was too desperate to let go. He'd imagined kissing Jensen since he was ten, but he never thought it would happen for real.

 _“Fuck, Jared—”_   was all Jensen groaned against his lips when Jared gave him a second to breathe, hands still holding his face. He left a series of nibbling kisses on Jared’s lower lip, and that alone was enough to have Jared whining softly, trying to chase after Jensen's lips when he pulled away.

That was that, then. It happened too fast for Jared — distracted in his desperation  made it go away with a blink —  and he started to curse himself for not taking his time to enjoy it.

He breathed slowly, looking up at Jensen as he licked his lips, trying to get some of the taste from the kiss. Jensen’s thumb came down to follow his tongue a second later, tracing over Jared's lower lip and staying there, pressed against his mouth. “What are you doing to me, Jay?” Jensen whispered in a voice Jared never heard him use before, voice wrecked and rough at the end. It made Jared’s blood travel down south quickly, made him half hard just from the way Jensen was speaking and looking at him. “ _What_ am I going to do with you?” Jensen reformulated, thumb still rubbing at Jared’s lips.

Jared gave him a little smile, opening his mouth just so, tongue darting out so he could lick Jensen’s finger.

“Whatever you want.” Jared answered sincerely.

That seemed to be the answer to unlock whatever Jensen was holding back, because as soon as Jared said it Jensen was back on him, one hand holding his chin while the other moved to stroke his hair. This time the kiss was slower, with Jensen taking the lead. Jared fell into it and let Jensen take control as if it was a second nature for him. He followed Jensen’s movements easily and opened his mouth when felt Jensen’s tongue pressing at his lips.

It only took a long moment of making out with Jensen for Jared to get completely hard and aching in his boxers, head spinning at how fast he got turned on from feeling Jensen’s tongue licking into his mouth.

Jensen's knee was still pressed between Jared’s thighs, and that was probably what let him realize how all Jared’s blood was now concentrated in his crotch. He pressed his knee against Jared’s cock and Jared yelped, making Jensen stop the kiss and look down at him. A smirk appeared on Jensen’s mouth as he scanned Jared’s body.

“Happy to see me, Jay?”

“More like happy to have you on top of me.” Jared said after taking a mouth full of air, still feeling drowsy from everything that was happened. “On top of me, kissing m-me like that, oh my God. I can’t believe this.”

“Hey,” Jensen complained with a mock-offended tone, moving his head down to brush his lips against Jared’s temple, making him arch at the sensation. “Why is it such a surprise that I can kiss well? You underestimate me, kiddo.”

He closed his teeth on Jared’s pulse, sucking at the skin right after. Jared moaned openly, finally moving his arms from over his head to wrap them around Jensen, pulling him even closer.

“I-I can’t believe you’re kissing _me_ , smartass.” Jared tried to sound sassy, but his voice only put in more evidence of how turned on he was. Jensen was killing him. _This was really happening and Jensen was goddamn killing him._ “Jesus fuck, _Jensen—!_ ” He closed his eyes and arched his back when he felt Jensen’s knee lightly pressing against his hard-on again. If he kept that up, Jensen was going to make him come in his pants.

“You can’t do that,” Jensen grunted in his ear, hands moving to hold Jared’s hips and push him back into the couch again. “ _Fucking hell_. You can’t do that, Jared. You can’t tell me I’m the person you were referring to and say I can do whatever I want to you and _then_ say my name like _that_.” He ran his nose down Jared’s pulse, burying his face in the space between his shoulder and throat. “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to keep it together when you do that kind of—?”

“Why not?” Jared whined out loud. He wanted to know, wanted Jensen to keep telling him. He'd wanted Jensen to do this for years, so he was so far from interested in Jensen keeping it together. But he did want to know why it was such a big deal for Jensen, needed to hear if this was affecting him as bad as it was affecting  Jared. “It’s true, so why not? You should be my first time, not anyone else.” Jared felt Jensen grabbing his hips even tighter and pressing his face further into his neck, so he went all out. “ _Please_ , Jensen. Want you more than anything. _Need you_.”

Jensen moved his hands under Jared’s shirt, running fingers over skin and making Jared moan again, stroking Jensen’s hair as he kept kissing his neck and shoulders.

Jensen did every part slow, taking his time while tugging at Jared’s nipples under his shirt and leaving kisses on his face. There was no rush when he came up to kiss Jared’s lips again, tonguing his way in to get Jared opening his mouth like before. Jared felt like everywhere Jensen kissed and touched was on fire, his own hands cupping Jensen’s face or stroking his back, wanting to get every inch of skin under his palms.

It felt insanely good and Jared was in love with the way Jensen touched him, the way he kissed him. It was all he could ever ask for.

When Jared spread his legs — jeans still on and dick pulsing in his boxers — Jensen moved between them and thrusted down, rubbing his own clothed erection against Jared’s, both of them moaning into each other’s mouths.

Jared clung to Jensen, arms going around his neck and mouth pressed close to his ear, Jensen’s hands rubbing between his inner thighs and making Jared jump and pull close to each touch. “Want you so bad, Jensen.” Jared said, holding onto him for dear fucking life. “Want you all the time. Always, _always_.” He kissed Jensen’s earlobe, trembling as Jensen worked his pants open. “I c-can’t believe you’re doing this with me.”

He moved his head to the right, trying to catch Jensen’s lips again, but Jensen suddenly pulled his head away, hands stopping midway where they were pulling down Jared’s zipper.

“No, wait. Jared—” He moved one hand to put on Jared’s chest, blinking rapidly and shaking his head. “No. We can’t— _I can’t—_ ”

Jared started to shake his head right back, not letting Jensen pull away. “Jensen, come on. D-Don’t, don’t say that. We _can_.”

“No, we can’t.” Jensen said in a firm voice, his eyes looking worried. Jared bit his tongue and kept shaking his head, wanting Jensen to keep going. “God, no. I can’t do this to you. Fuck, you’re my best friend’s little brother. _You’re seventeen_.”

“You just said I was mature enough to make my own choices about it!” Jared wasn’t trying to sound so freaked out, but Jensen was pulling away from him, taking his hands off from Jared. “You said I was old enough for this, you said all of that a minute ago, Jensen!”

“Yeah I did, but, but with someone _your_ _own_ _age_! I’m way older than you and— _fuck_ , I practically saw you grew up. This is not— _Jared,_ _no_.”

Jared held his breath, feeling like he was going to end up crying if Jensen kept saying no and pulling away from him. Jared was mature enough, he was old enough. He wanted Jensen. He _loved_ Jensen. And two fucking seconds ago Jensen kissing was him back, he couldn’t do that to Jared and then just take it away.

“J-Jensen, don’t do this. _Please_.”  
  
“I've been around here a lot, you've seen me all your life. It’s— it’s understandable if you think you want me in a different way, and I can’t use the affection you might have for me and probably confused as something else…”

Jared pulled his hands away from Jensen, starting to back away as well. He felt his eyes burning and he tried to hold back tears, bitterness spreading as Jensen kept talking.

“If I _think_ I want you? Affection that I _probably_ confused?” he repeated slowly, the words making a knot in his throat. Jensen couldn’t do that. He couldn’t take the feelings Jared had for years and turn them around to make them sound like a sudden silly craving he developed last week. Jared had wanted him for years with everything he was and Jensen was turning it into _that?_ “Fuck you, Jensen.” He stopped talking and looked at Jared with a pained expression “If you’re gonna reject me just say it straight instead of turning it on me to make me look like some confused brat. _Fuck you_ , you don’t get to do that!”

“Jared it's not like that!” Jensen argued back. “Come on, you’re just seventeen, you probably are confused about this, thinking you like me because we have always been close!”

Jared bit his lower lip, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he looked at Jensen. _“No, Jay. Please understand...”_ he whispered, trying to reach for Jared's face, but Jared pulled away before Jensen could touch him. That’s when Jensen’s phone started to vibrate over on the coffee table, where he'd left it when the movie had started. Jeff’s name appeared on the screen along with a picture of him and Adrianne and it was like a punch back into reality. The surprise birthday party. Jeff was coming for Jensen.

It served as a distraction, giving Jared the chance to move away from the couch when Jensen turned to look at the screen. He quickly wiped the tears from his face, hoping Jensen wouldn’t see them as he hurried up the stairs to his room. Jensen jumped off of the couch to try to follow him, almost tripping over the coffee table and then bumping into another chair, calling Jared’s name and begging him to please wait, saying they needed to talk about it. But Jared had heard enough. Jensen getting momentarily tangled in the living room gave Jared enough time to get to the second floor and lock the door to his room, shutting himself inside.

He pressed his ear against the door, tearing up and sniffling. He felt like a complete idiot. Just as Jensen was starting to come upstairs, Jared heard the main door opening, Jeff’s happy voice loudly asking if the movie was done and where was his pizza. Jared hiccuped and covered his mouth, trying to hear what Jensen was saying back to his brother. After what felt a long minute, Jensen walked back down from the middle of the staircase and kept talking with Jeff.

As it was planned for the birthday party, Jeff convinced Jensen to leave with him almost fifteen minutes later. Jared could hear Jensen saying he wanted to go check on him before leaving, telling Jeff how Jared got tired during the movie and went to sleep. Jeff laughed and said Jared was old enough to stay home alone and Jensen needed to stop being even more overprotective than him.

When they finally left, Jared walked to his bed and curled under the covers, trying to make himself stop crying over it. How could Jensen do that? How could he give Jared all he wanted for so long and then take it away in such a hurtful way? He hid his face in his pillow, knowing the compass Jensen had given him for his graduation was on his bedside table. He slept restlessly  that night, waking up almost every two hours to start crying bitterly all over again.

The next morning, Chad came by and Jared told him all about it still curled up in bed and crying like he hadn’t done in years. Chad stayed with him all day, trashing Jensen with all the bad words he knew and only leaving to bring Jared his favorite food for lunch. His parents decided to stay the weekend with Jared’s aunt and Jeff and Jensen didn’t come back to the house that day.

At the end of the night, Jared had come to one conclusion: He didn’t want to see Jensen again. He knew what a rejection looked like. A painful rejection, to make it even worse. Jensen's answer to how Jared felt was more than clear, and Jared didn’t want to deal with having to face him again.

When he pitched the idea of leaving one month early to college to Chad, he felt like an asshole friend, making it all about his problems and not knowing if Chad wanted to leave his own home so soon. All Chad said was that he was going to start making his bags and preparing his car right away, and Jared teared up for another fifteen minutes on the phone thanking him for it.

His parents weren’t very happy about Jared’s sudden decision to leave, but Jared managed to convince them talking about wanting to be settled down on time and get used to an entire new city before having all his classes on him. Jared made them promise they wouldn’t tell Jeff and Adrianne, since he wanted to tell them himself.

The real reason was because he didn’t want Jeff telling Jensen.

When they came by the house two days later Jared made a point to stay in his room all the time, and with his parents and Megan there too Jensen didn’t try to go looking for him. It was both a relief and torture at the same time.

By the next Monday, Jared had all his bags and boxes ready in the back of Chad’s car, his room looking empty and sad. Jared had been excited about the moment he'd have to pack everything, thinking it would be a sentimental moment, but it turned out to be one of his most bitter memories for the future.

He told Jeff and Adrianne he was leaving that Monday night when they were visiting the Padalecki family to eat dinner. It was more of an act for Adrianne, since Jared called her when their parents gave him green light about moving and he let her know all about it. From _when_ he was doing it to _why_ he was doing it.

The next morning Jared left with Chad for New York before nine, hugging his mom, dad and Megan, promising to call as soon as he got to the city.

He tried to leave the compass Jensen gave him but he ended tucking it in one of his boxes full of books and bringing it with him.

Jared wasn’t going to see Jensen again anyway, and that was what really counted.


	2. Chapter 2

Jared walks into the coffee shop the next day at almost eleven, and just as promised the night before, Chad is waiting for him at a table close to the counter, Milo and Sandy with him.

They've all got their various drinks and Chad has a big croissant in front of him. Sandy’s still wearing her grey apron, most likely taking a break from working the counter. Milo's settled comfortably at the table as well, and Jared's beyond grateful that he's willing to neglect his shop for a little while to help him. 

Jared looks and feels like complete and utter shit, of course. He could barely sleep last night after finding out he was going to see Jensen at his brother’s wedding, and then the stupid nightmare about Jensen marrying someone else. As if Jared fucking cares. Jensen could marry three times and shoot his ass to the moon to live there for all Jared is interested. But apparently his brain thought it would be nice to somehow torment his few hours to sleep with the visual anyway. So now he's tired, stressed and kind of in a bad mood. He couldn’t find any decent clothes that morning and ended up putting on what Sandy had described before as ‘the ugliest of all the ugly shirts Jared owned’ and the same jeans he's been wearing the entire week. His hair's a mess and he is almost sure his jacket is on inside out.

And that isn’t even the worst part of the day so far.

“Just tell me, Adrianne.” Jared pleads on the phone, moving between tables and repeating ‘excuse me’ over and over again so the customers will move and let him get through. Adrianne called when Jared was making himself a shitty breakfast — old cereal with old oreo cookies — to talk about the wedding, the invitations and how she was going to break someone’s neck if another person asked her why she wasn’t going on a diet before the wedding. “And don’t even ask what I mean, because you know what I’m asking for. Just tell me.”

He'd kept the conversation as Jensen-less as possible, but it was time to break the bubble. And now he has company for the moral support.

Adrianne sighs at the other side of the phone. “What for? So you can torment yourself for the next six weeks about it?”  
  
“You know me so well.”

“ _Oh my god_. You’re not staging a getaway, are you? Trying to find out if Jensen is coming just to bail on the wedding. On _my_ _wedding_ , Jared Tristan Padalecki. I’ll fly to New York and drag you here by your balls if I have to.” Jared flinches at the mental image, trying to not think about it.

“No I’m not bailing, so please don’t threaten my testicles.” He stops when a older woman turns on her chair to give him a frown and Jared flashes her a quick apologetic smile, whispering _‘excuse me’_ one more time to get past her and get to the table with his friends. “I love you and my brother that much, I’m going to the wedding no matter what. I promise.”

All three of his friends give him considerate smiles when he reaches the table and they hear him say that. Jared shrugs and takes a seat, chewing on his lower lip and hoping Adrianne answers his question. This time he wants to know ahead of time so he has time to prepare himself instead of getting to Austin and receiving the news that Jensen is there like a slap in the face.

 _“Thank you._ I know this is hard for you, Jay. I really appreciate it.” Adrianne sounds sincere, and she had always supported Jared’s decisions about this. It’s his time to support her, even if that’s making Jared feel sick to his stomach.

“So, he’s going.” Jared confirms himself, focusing on the menu on the table even though he knows it by memory. He has a tiny bit of hope, almost microscopic. He knows he’s going to go either way but fuck, Jared’s scared.

“He’s Jeff’s best man. I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

_Of course he is._

Jared bangs his forehead on the table, leaving it there against the cold surface. He feels Chad’s hand patting his back along with Sandy carefully stroking his hair. Well, there goes his tiny bit of hope, it was a lost cause from the start. There was no way Jensen would miss such an important event of Jeff’s life, but he needed the confirmation.

“Thanks, _‘Anne_. I wanted to hear it from you.”

“I don’t want my wedding to become your nightmare, Jay. I know this could be too much. If you feel like you’re getting too stressed over it I would understand—”

“No. It’ll be fine. I’ll handle it, it’s been six years and this is not going to be about him or me. It’s all about you and Jeff, all right? I’m going to be there.” He’s not too convinced of his words but he can’t do that to Adrianne, not to her. Jared is going to have her back on this no matter what. Even if he ends sharing a room with Jensen and spending every day with him.

He knocks on the wood table right away. _That part better not happen_.

“You’re a doll. Have I told you that I love you more than anyone else?”

“I always suspected it.”

“Best little brother in law, I’ll take you and Chad to my bachelorette party. There will be so many hot strippers shaking their dicks in your face you’ll forget Jensen’s name by the end of this trip.”

 _He has one thing to look forward, then._ Jared raises his head at that, rubbing his forehead with his free hand and letting Sandy try to fix his hair. “By the way, I find it a little rude for you to think I have nobody to take the wedding. I _could_ have somebody.”

“Even then you would still bring Chad.” Adrianne answers with a laugh, “You never liked introducing your boyfriends to the family. Even less flying them all the way from New York.”

“Why Chad though? Doesn’t have to be him.” Jared jokes, giving his friend a smile and getting Chad kicking him under the table in retaliation. Jared shoves him away and steals his croissant, taking a big bite from it just to get Chad giving him the finger in return.

“Can we even have a party without Chad?” Adrianne says, and Chad’s close enough to the phone trying to get his food back that he hears her, so he shouts _“Just what I fuckin’ said last night!”,_ making Adrianne laugh and start sending him kisses through the phone.

Jared struggles to get Chad off of him for a good minute, and he gives up and gives Chad his breakfast back when Chad bites his hand, making Jared howl in pain. Adrianne cackles through the whole thing listening to them struggle, her laughter getting louder every time she hears Chad curse Jared and saying how much she misses seeing them wrestle and fake fight in person.

“Okay, all right. Enough of this.” Jared rubs his hand, seeing the mark of Chad’s teeth on his skin and giving him a dark look as Chad munches on his croissant, shit-eating grin on his face. “I’ll talk to you later, Adrianne. Tell Jeff I said hi. Love you.”

“Love you, Jay. Please don’t spend the rest of the day worrying about it.”

“I’ll try.”

He hangs up and slips his phone into the front pocket of his jeans, falling silent and looking up at Milo when he walks back to the table with a cup of coffee for him. Jared's been coming around for so long that they know his order, and Jared graciously accepts the frothy cup of coffee from his friend, licking some whipped cream off the top. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem.” Milo gives him a warm smile, sitting across from him and sipping on his own coffee. As usual, he's radiating calm and warmth, and Jared wishes he could be as put together as Milo always is.

“So, Ackles is for sure gonna be there, huh?” Chad asks with his mouth full and Jared nods and lets out a little whine, throwing his head back. “Fuck man, this is going to be a damn experience for you.”

“He’s my brother’s fucking best man. He’s so going to be there; he’s going to be there for _everything_. And Adrianne says we have to get there a week early to help her finish details, for the rehearsal dinner, for her bachelorette party…” Jared trails off and takes the cup, blowing it a couple times because taking a sip. It tastes like tons of caramel, just like Jared loves it. Tons of sugar to start the day and kick in the good mood the desperately needs. “That means five weeks from today.”

“I’m sure you can do it, Jared. You haven’t seen him in years and it’s not like you’re still in love with him.” Sandy adds, patting his hand. She and Milo know about Jensen and what happened, Jared told them long ago when they became close friends with him and Chad. They met back when they were all still in college and Milo worked at one of the coffee shops on campus. Him and Sandy shared an apartment back then. Milo always wanted to have his own coffee place, and four years later he had one up and running and constantly busy with clients.

“Of course I’m not in love with him.” Jared shoots back, almost defensive.

His love for Jensen burned out long ago. It took him a while, sure, and even when he decided to finally date again it was like Jensen was still there. Making Jared compare his actual dates to him and making Jared remember all the little things he always liked about him. It was a long process, but he fell out of love. Through the years, the only memento Jared kept was Jensen’s compass — in one of the drawers in his room, that Jared never touched or opened — and some bitterness.

“Good. Then you can definitely do it.” Sandy assured with a big smile, squeezing his hand reassuringly. He wishes he could bring Sandy and Milo with him too. Milo to give him good advice and keep him calm, and Sandy to keep his happy mood and constantly assure Jared he had this in the bag and there was nothing he couldn’t do. His own little support team so Jared could deal with Jensen.

“Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.” Jared pouts and takes another sip of his coffee, reaching towards the center of the table for another little packet of sugar. He needs even more sugar in his system if he wants to stop complaining anytime soon.

Chad’s still eating the rest of his croissant in silence while Milo and Sandy exchange a look across the table, making Jared frown slightly.

Sandy finishes what is left of her milkshake in three long sips and puts the glass down, using a napkin to clean her pink round mouth, preparing herself to say out loud whatever she and Milo were silently discussing. Sandy's one to take no bullshit, and when she has something to say she'll say it straight to your face. She and Milo constantly served as the mirror of truth Jared couldn’t escape from.

At first Jared thought she and Milo were dating, but it turned out they were only childhood friends and Milo wasn’t interested in Sandy or anybody else for that matter, considering he’s asexual and aromantic. All four of them clicked right away years ago, and now Jared knew Sandy well enough to hold his breath and get ready for whatever she was gonna drop on him.

Apart from Chad, Sandy’s probably the most sincere person he knows.

“Is it just me or do you still sound really bitter over it? I know everything that happened with Jensen, but even so…” Sandy makes a little face, her mouth twisting to one side. “It’s like you can’t let go of him. Doesn’t sound like you’re quite done with Jensen.”

And even if he was expecting it, it still makes Jared want to start a heated discussion over how _no_ , that is not the truth. Jared let go of Jensen long ago and he is more than fucking done with him. He feels his cheeks flush and he opens and closes his mouth repeatedly, trying to find a good way to explain just how not-true that is.

“Well— _yeah_ , of course I’m bitter! How can I not be bitter over what he did?” Jared wants to defend that first, it’s the easy part to argue, then he can go for the rest.

Milo clears his throat and Jared turns his head to look at him so fast he gets a little light headed. He hopes Milo’s gonna take his side, because the side Milo takes is usually the most reasonable one. “I have to say, for a past love and old heartbreak, you still seem pretty hung up on the guy.”

Jared can see Sandy nodding vigorously at his side, and he doesn’t like where this is going as Milo keeps talking. “When you truly close a chapter with someone, you let go of the bitterness and anger, too. And even if you don’t let go, then you get over it eventually. And it doesn’t look like you have done any of that, Jay, sorry to say.”

It’s the last thing Jared wants to hear, but he still needs to hear it, and that’s why Milo and Sandy are telling him. Jared knows that and appreciates it on certain level but it still makes his seventeen-year-old self want to come out kicking to complain that he’s not— _he can’t be_ still hung up on Jensen after all those years, after dating other people and trying so hard to not think or see him. He can't.

He turns to look at Chad then, waiting for his best friend to come to his defense him, but Chad just keeps drinking his coffee in silence and avoiding Jared's gaze.

“Well?” Jared presses, smacking Chad’s arm. “Aren’t _you_ gonna take my side at least?”

Chad swallows the last part of his breakfast and holds his hands up like he’s surrendering. No way. “Actually, Jay-man, I didn’t want to say it but since Milo and Sands brought it up...”

 _“What?!”_ Jared looks at Chad in disbelief, opening his mouth and smacking his arm again. He has no friends left. “No! You’re my best friend, Chad. Come on! You can’t think that I’m not over Jensen!”

“Look, Jared. You’re my best friend and fucking love your guts but I think they're right.” Jared opens his mouth to start arguing back so he keeps talking. “ _Listen to me_ , man. You do anything that’s in your fucking power to never see him, and okay that could be reasonable but you do it to an extreme level. Every time Adrianne even brings him up you get all weird for days _and_ you've broken up with your boyfriends for the past six years because of reasons that link it all back to Ackles. Do I think you’re still goddamn in love like you were back then? No, I know you’re not—”

Jared can at least agree with that so he points towards Chad while looking Milo and Sandy to make an emphasis.

“— _but_ that doesn’t mean you’re over him, Jared. Fucking hell, if you were truly over it you wouldn’t give a shit if you ran into him all goddamn year during _your_ family reunions. I know he hurt you and he’s a piece of shit to me— I would kick him in the nuts for all eternity if I could for what he did, Jay. But you’re _not_ over Ackles. That’s why this is so hard on you.”

There it is. Chad’s the most sincere person Jared knows after all.

He doesn’t try to argue anymore, looking down at his coffee in silence. He can try to fight back, say that him avoiding Jensen like fire is simple instinct and all he wants is to avoid an awkward situation with him. Jared could say it’s a lie, that he never acts weird when he finds out little details about Jensen when Adrianne mentions him by mistake, or that him breaking up with everyone he dated in the past few years has nothing to do with Jensen. Jared can try to fight. He can get mad at his friends and even leave, storming out of the coffee shop after making a scene that would put bad chick flick movies to shame.

But he won’t. Because deep down, there’s a little part of him that always knew this.

The part of him that’s never allowed to think about Jensen is proof that he’s not over it.

Because if Jared was over Jensen, that part wouldn’t even exist, because he wouldn’t care.

“But you don’t think I’m in love, right?” Jared presses, looking up at his friends with a desperate expression. Chad just said it, but Jared needs to hear it again. After all these years, after trying _so hard_ , Jared can’t be still in love. He was convinced of this an hour ago but now he wants to reassurance that he’s right.

Chad, Sandy and Milo shake their heads at the same time and Jared sighs, feeling like he can breath a little easier.

“Of course not. There’s something there, but it’s not love.” Sandy drums her nails against the table, looking pensive for a moment. “You would think that after all this time you wouldn’t care at all for him.”

“Imagine my disappointment.” Jared groans, taking another long sip of his coffee. It’s tastes like Jared drowned an entire bag of candies in it, and that makes him feel a little better. “What should I do, then? I avoided him for years, tried to never even think about him, and even dated guys who look like his exact opposite. Remember Zachary? He didn’t look like Jensen at all.”

Chad snorts, raising his feet to put them over an empty chair by his side, leaning his back against Milo’s arm. “Levi? That dude tried so fucking hard to make you like him back in college, like an overexcited puppy with the following you around. It was kind of funny.”

Jared smacks Chad’s legs with the back of his hand while Sandy laughs. Zach was nice, it wasn’t his fault it didn’t work out for Jared. “ _Anyway_ , the point is that I have tried it all. I should be over him. What else am I supposed to do now? Isn’t six years enough? Don’t I deserve to just get over him completely and move on with my life?”

Who would have thought that getting over Jensen Ackles was so goddamn hard. Jared wishes he could go back in time and make his younger self fall for someone else, _anyone else_ would have been better. There were tons of boys at his school and Jeff had more friends, like Tom and Mike or Aldis. Tom and Mike are together now for what Adrianne says, but at least getting over them would have been easier. It didn’t have to be Jensen, for God’s sake.

“What if the reason you can’t move on isn’t a sentimental one?” Chad says after a moment, suddenly moving his feet from the chair and sitting straight, looking straight at Jared with an incredulous expression on his face. “I mean, of fucking course it’s not sentimental. We already said you’re not in love. Shit, how could I not have realized this before?”

“Care to explain yourself to the class?” Sandy asks, looking as curious as Jared now.

“You avoided him and it didn’t work. You tried not to think about him and it didn’t work. Even dating other people didn’t work for you because there was something still tying you back to him.” Chad smacks the table with his closed fist and some worried clients turn to look at him, but Chad doesn’t even realize. “Isn’t it fucking obvious? You never got to have break-up sex with Ackles!”

Jared blinks and looks at Chad for a long moment. “ _What?_ ” He can’t be serious. “How could I even get break up sex with I was never in a relationship with Jensen? You need to be with someone to break up with them, and then have sex. The explanation is right in the name, Chad.”

Chad waves his hands in the air like Jared’s line of reasoning is irrelevant.  “No, no, no. you’re taking it way too fucking literally, Jay. I’m just using _‘break_ _-_ _up sex’_ as a general expression. You two almost fucked the night he got all dickhead about your feelings for him. He almost popped your fucking cherry that night, right? Something you wanted since you started to jerk off.”

Jared flushes slightly, but doesn’t have an argument against that. It’s true, but Jared doesn’t need the reminder. “So what? I never got to have sex with him, just like I never got to skydive off Mount Everest. What’s your point?”

“C’mon, Jay! You always wanted Ackles to be your first, then you almost fucking got it just to get him stopping at the last moment.” Chad keeps trying to convince him and he’s sitting at the edge of his seat, looking as excited as he does when he’s discussing weird conspiracy theories with Milo. “That shit’s gotta stick with you, man! I would be bitter for decades if someone did that to me.”

“Chad, you’re talking nonsense.”

“Actually, I think what Chad is saying makes a lot of sense.” Milo intercedes, and Jared turns to look at him with his mouth open.

“Milo, you can’t be serious!”

“Listen, Jared. Wanting someone comes in two forms: wanting them in a romantic way and wanting them in a sexual one. They don’t always go together but they're also not mutually exclusive. Some people just have romantic interests, other people just have sexual interests. Others have both. And you’re one of them.” Milo explains calmly, looking at Jared with an understanding expression. How can Milo be this easy-going about everything? “You got over the romantic interest you had in Jensen and we all know that. But maybe you never got to satisfy the part of you that wanted to sleep with him and have him be your first time so—”

“You never got to bang him goodbye!” Sandy interrupts with a happy voice, clapping her hands like this is a sensible conclusion. Milo nods his agreement as Sandy keeps talking. “Come on, Jay. Sometimes you fuck someone, and then you move on. Like when you’re on a diet and get cravings for something specific, you can either fight that craving for months until it becomes an obsession or have some of whatever it is you want just _once_ and then never think about it again.”

Jared keeps fiddling with the his coffee mug as he listens to all of them talk. In all honestly, he never considered that before. Sure, he tried not consider to Jensen in any way, but it was mostly the romantic feelings what he was really careful of.

“And you know what that means, right?” Sandy leans on the table with a big smile “You have to go to Austin and fuck Jensen to finally get him out of your head. Get over your craving.”

The idea alone makes something deep inside of Jared jump alive. He hasn’t considered sex with Jensen in years. There were some moments when he had thought about Jensen when he was having sex with someone else, but it was always a matter of seconds and Jared always made sure to stop himself right away. He would never think of Jensen when jerking off, and the wet dreams about him stopped a long time ago.

So Jensen and sex haven’t been in his head at the same time in a long time, but suddenly allowing himself to think about it feels like giving into something he knows too well and likes too much. He can close his eyes and still remember how Jensen felt on top of him, pressing his wrists against the couch while kissing and licking his neck. The thought makes Jared’s blood travel south so fast he feels lightheaded, blinking and curling his toes inside of his shoes.

“B-But I haven’t talked to him in decades and suddenly you want me to go and have sex with him? Like that’s ever gonna happen! He knows I’ve been avoiding him, too!” Not to mention it could potentially end in Jensen rejecting him again, which, _no thanks_. Jared had enough of that before.

“You might as well try. And I’m gonna be there to help you,” Chad reasons as he pats Jared on the back.“You don’t love him anymore, so even if it doesn’t happen, who the fuck cares. You’re going for a one night stand, man.”

“And you two almost had sex years ago,” Milo interjects. “He wouldn’t have kissed you and almost slept with you if he wasn’t even a little bit attracted to you, Jared. There might be some of that attraction still there. 

Jared’s head is spinning. He walked in the coffee shop with the intention of complaining over having to see Jensen again, and now he’s even considering having sex with him. _He’s really considering everything_ _his_ _friends are saying, Jesus Christ._

“Jay, go get some and make us proud.” Sandy beams from her chair like she’s having the time of her life planning this. “You’re hot, alright? You don’t even notice how fucking good-looking you are. So believe me, if Jensen wanted you before even a little he is _so_ going to want to fuck your perky little ass now.” That makes Jared laugh nervously and blush again. Fuck, his friends are going to doom him with this. “Also, that dude is hot too. Enjoy the ride.”

Jared makes a double take at Sandy at that.

“Wait. How do you know if Jensen is hot?”

Sandy shrugs. “Chad showed us a picture of him on Facebook.”

Jared turns to look at Chad with accusatory eyes, but he doesn’t look guilty at all. He’s too pleased with himself for pitching the ‘break-up sex’ explanation and getting all the support he needed.

“What? It’s not like I have him added as my fucking friend and we send each other lives on Candy Crush or some shit. Sandy wanted to know what he looked like, so I searched for a picture on Adrianne’s account.” Well at least Jared’s glad Sandy didn’t ask him to look for the picture, he could understand his friends wanting to know what Jensen looked like after Jared told them all the story and how he would turn his life around to constantly avoid him.

“That doctor can get it.” Sandy snickers. “Hope you get scruff burns all over your thighs if you get to sit on his face.”

Jared almost whines, and bangs his head against the table one more time. _Jensen has a beard now?_ Even some scruff would look fantastic on him. He has no fucking clue of how Jensen looks now, the last pictures he saw were probably from two years ago since he doesn’t log on Facebook that often and if he does, it’s just to check specific things.

Jensen was really hot when he was in his early twenties, Jared can only imagine how good he looks now that he’s twenty eight.

Jared keeps his face pressed to the table, turning it just to leave his cheek against the cold surface as he listens to Milo and Chad laugh over Sandy’s excited explanation of different ways Jared can seduce Jensen as soon as he sees him. He’s paying full attention too, and in less than fifteen minutes he almost feels like taking notes on all the advice his friends are giving him on the topic.

He still can’t believe he’s really considering having sex with Jensen to get over him.

 

—

 

Five weeks fly by faster than you can imagine when you’re praying for them to last for ever.

At first, Jared had been resistant to go along with his friends’ plan of having a one night stand with Jensen to finally forget him and move on, rolling his eyes when they mentioned it and saying there were out of their minds when they kept giving Jared advice of when and where he should _‘jump Jensen and take him for a ride’,_ as Sandy liked to say 

After about a week though, the idea started to grow on him. Jared realized he had tried every single thing he knew to try to forget Jensen and apparently, none of them worked. So, what else could he lose? He didn’t live in Austin anymore, and even if everything crashed and burned with the plan, he could just avoid Jensen for the rest of his life, which he was already a pro at. By the second week, Jared was convinced he would give it a try. He had no idea how it was gonna happen or if he would be able to flirt with Jensen without getting heart problems, but he was going to _try_. He went out with Chad to get their measurements done for tuxedos for the wedding, and Milo and Sandy tagged along. Jared was one of the groomsmen, so he considered an additional new suit for the occasion was appropriate, while all three of his friends decided he needed something that would make Jensen want to bend him over in front of all the guests. Jared doubted a _suit_ could do that, but Sandy was more than sure that the one they picked out for him would work just fine.

By the third week, Jared was freaking out. He convinced himself nothing was going to work. Jensen could be engaged for all he knew, he could have been with someone else all these years while Jared tried to get over his attractive ass and _surprise surprise_ , didn’t do so well with that task. He was sure Jensen wouldn’t even care to see him again and Jared’s failed attempts to flirt with him would be nothing but a huge embarrassment. One afternoon he almost called Adrianne to tell her he wasn’t going, but Chad confiscated his cell phone and even disconnected the phone in his apartment and hid it away for the rest of the week.

The fourth week was a mix of getting his shit together and dealing with leftover nervousness and anxiety. He reached the conclusion that he was going to try his best to follow along with the plan to have a one night stand with Jensen but he was probably going to be feeling like throwing up his own heart most of the time. There was no way to know if this was going to work out or completely fail, so Jared just had to take that step and see what happened at the end.

And now, by the fifth week, he’s flying back to Austin.

Four and a half hours and he and Chad are at the Bergstrom Airport, walking out of the plane and going for their bags. Milo and Sandy — along with Sadie, who's gonna stay with his friends while he's gone — drove them to the airport that morning and had breakfast with them at the McDonald’s in the food court. They kept encouraging Jared and made Chad promise to constantly call to let them know how everything was going.

“I can’t believe you slept the whole time,” Jared snorts, catching his bag and taking it with him, using Chad’s help to set it on the floor. “I had to sit for four hours doing nothing because the movie they showed sucked and I finished the book I was reading. You’re the worst trip partner on earth.”

“Planes suck ass, dude. There isn’t shit to do up there and the feeling that they’re going to explode out of nowhere like in Final Destination always give me the fucking heebie-jeebies.” Chad shivers and makes a face, and that has Jared laughing all the way to the terminal where they’re supposed to meet up with Adrianne.

She’s late and stuck in traffic, so they get themselves coffee and look for somewhere to sit and wait. Jared gets his phone out and texts Jeff and his mom they’ve touched down in Austin.

From what Jared already knows — meaning what Adrianne told him the night before — Jensen isn't supposed to get to Austin for another two days for the wedding rehearsal. So for now, Jared can breathe and not make a big deal out of it. He’ll get to help with whatever they need for the wedding, and probably go buy a gift at one the stores Jeff and Adrianne registered for their presents.

“Really? You’re gonna keep sleeping?” Jared asks as he looks at Chad, who’s taking three empty seats to lay down on his side and using Jared’s lap as pillow. “Almost five hours wasn't enough for you?”

“Shut up and keep thinking about how you’re gonna get to suck Ackles’ dick in the next few days.”

“Just get on my knees and go for it as soon as I see him, very effective and to the point.” Jared jokes and lets Chad fold his jacket and put it on his thigh to make it even comfortable.

“Right, you’re gonna do it in front of the whole family. Let that exhibitionist freak you got inside be free.” Chad mumbles, not catching he’s not for real, and Jared just shakes his head. Good to know Chad has his back no matter what kind of fucked up ideas Jared comes up with.

Adrianne gets there almost twenty minutes minute later and hugs the both of them until Chad begs her to let them breathe. She’s excited and jumpy and Jared can bet she overdid it on the coffee this morning. They grab their luggage and leave to the parking lot, with Adrianne walking in between them and chatting about how them being there is going to make the last few days so much better.

“Look and cry, kids. Jeff got me an anticipated wedding present.” Adrianne announces as they get to her brand new car, at which Chad lets out an appreciative whistle.

“Damn. Should have known better and married Jeff myself.”

“That’s what Jensen said.” She laughs, unlocking the trunk so they can put their luggage inside.

Jared chokes on his coffee, almost snorting part of it through his nose. He pats his chest and leaves the cup on the floor, trying to recover his breath in between desperate coughs. He can feel his throat and chest burning from the hot coffee that went down without permission. “Jensen?!” Jared repeats, looking from Adrianne to Chad. “You said he would be here in two days!”

“He will! Shit, Jared, relax. He was here like two months ago when Jeff gave me the car.” Adrianne walks to his side and gently pats on his back, “Is this how you’re planning to seduce him? By choking to death in his face?”

He wasn’t exactly proud of spitting out the entire plan to Adrianne weeks ago, but having her supporting him on this would make the whole thing much easier. And she would have thought it was weird that suddenly Jared was open to talk and be around Jensen after avoiding him like there was no tomorrow. Adrianne knowing what was going on was always the good way to go. Keeping secrets from her never worked.

“Well, Jared used to always be a spaz like that when he was younger and apparently Ackles was into it.” Chad shrugs and gets his and Jared’s bags into the car while Jared flips him off. “You could tell he got boners over Jay’s clumsy ass. Dude’s probably into weird shit if he likes that, but gotta wait for Jared’s report to see if I’m right.”

“That actually makes sense,” Adrianne adds, and Jared just gives up, throwing his arms in the air and going to sit in the front seat of the car. He forgot how Adrianne usually agrees with Chad, which is something nobody should do. Ever. When she gets in the car after closing the trunk, she’s of course still talking about it. “I mean, you were even more clumsy when you were younger and that still got Jensen all over you.”

Jared has spent less than an hour in Austin and Jensen is already the center of the discussion around him. Some things never change.

“Do I need to remind you that he also stopped the whole thing?” Jared replies with a little huff as the struggles with his seatbelt. “I think that’s an important part, you know? He stopped it all. Doesn’t sound that into me.”

“He also started it.” Chad says from the backseat and Adrianne nods vigorously. Great. Tag-teaming to get Jared to believe Jensen liked him back then,  just what nightmares are made of. “Last time I checked people don’t kiss others out of fucking nowhere when they don’t like the person. Unless they are piss drunk, and Ackles wasn’t drunk that night.”

“I always had the feeling that Jensen was into you.” Adrianne starts the car and gives Jared a big smile. It pinches something in the middle of Jared’s chest, like those old sparks of hope he had when he was a teenager and Jensen did something especially sweet. He hasn’t felt that in years, and it catches Jared by surprise, making him flush and look out of the window, playing with his hands.

This trip is about that. This trip is absolutely not about feeling like he did when he was younger, it’s not even about him and Jensen. There's that stupid idea of “fucking Jensen goodbye” in the back of his head that he still doesn’t know how to follow through with, but even if that happens — God only knows how — it’s supposed to be just about the sex and not about the feelings.

Jared will cut his eyes out and swallow his own tongue before falling in love with Jensen again.

“But enough about you two! It’s my wedding week, so it’s all about me, kiddos.” Adrianne keeps talking as soon as she notices Jared doesn’t fight back her comment, and Jared can’t express how much he appreciates that. He’s done talking about Jensen for now, thank you very much. “You have _no_ idea how done I am with Jeff trying to sneak a peek at my wedding dress. I’m gonna kill your brother and become a widow before I’m a bride if he keeps that up.”

She and Chad settle a light mood in no time, with Adrianne telling them about preparation accidents they had so far with all the planning, and telling them a hilarious story about a guy falling into a three-tiered cake when she went to pick out the flavor of cake she wanted. Chad makes jokes about everything Adrianne tells them until Jared feels like his stomach hurts from laughing and Jensen is the furthest thing from his mind. Adrianne makes them promise they have to go get her good presents from the stores she registered.

Jared knows the way from the aiport to his house almost by memory, and even if he has done it countless time before and Jensen is not going to be in Austin for another two days at least, he's still nervous and twitchy the entire time, trying as hard as possible to focus on Adrianne’s jokes and Chad’s loud laugh.

He and Chad decided to save some money and stay at the Padalecki’s house instead of going to a hotel, even if it risked bumping into Jensen even more often. If Jared was going to see him he was going to get over it anyway. Not to mention they didn’t have a car for themselves, and they would rather share rides for all the rehearsals and the actual wedding than be struggling to get cabs and potentially be late to everything.  

“I also have to buy some good stuff for my honeymoon if you know what I mean. Which is gonna be a challenge to find, since let me tell you, your brother likes to see me dressed in all kinds  of costumes and lingerie.” Adrianne points to Jared and he groans and shoves her away gently. He doesn’t need to hear what Jeff likes in bed. _Ew_. “And I need it to be something he hasn’t seen before, for the wedding night impact, right? Luckily Gen and Danni are gonna go shopping with me tomorrow for that.”

He remembers Genevieve and Danneel, they would come around Jared’s house with Jeff and Adrianne back when he was still in high school, but he hasn't seen them in years. They seemed pretty nice back then, but Jared was just the awkward teen who would shy away from anyone he didn’t know, so he never really interacted with them.

“We’re also going to have lunch together, do you wanna come with us?” Adrianne pinches Jared’s stomach gently and he nods with a little laugh.

“Whatever the bride wants this week, the bride gets.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear! And you have to go too, Chad.” Adrianne claps, stopping the car right in front of Jared’s childhood house. There are other three cars parked on the street too, and Jared can see some of his cousins and aunts bustling about from the outside.

After taking their bags and heading inside, it turns out it’s “impromptu dress rehearsal day" at his house, and all the girls from his family and Adrianne’s are squished in his livingroom changing and trying on the dresses they're wearing for the wedding day. All the men have been kicked out of the house, and only Jared and Chad have special permission to stay since they're just arriving from New York today and need to unpack in Jared’s old room.

Jared has to go around the place kissing all his relatives and meeting Adrianne’s family too as a bonus. He answers the same questions over and over again about his work, how things are at New York and how _‘no, he doesn’t have a date for the wedding because he brought his best friend since he’s close with Adrianne_ _too’_ and _‘_ _yes, aunt Holly, I’m still into guys, thanks for asking’._

He gets to slip away after giving his mom a big hug and telling her she looks great in the dress she picked, kissing her cheek and almost running upstairs so he can go to his room and unpack with Chad. They call Milo and Sandy to tell them they had a good flight and fill them in on the goings on and the deal with Jensen. Chad gets very precise directions from Sandy about not letting Jared dress in his usual ugly clothes — which, _rude_ , Jared’s taste for clothes is not that bad, come on — and instructions to send her pictures of what Jared will be wearing that week so she can give the _‘looks perfect_ _enough_ _to get_ _Jared_ _laid by a hot doctor’_ seal of approval, whatever that's supposed to mean.

While him and Chad make plans to go out and find something else to do before they get trapped in the house watching Jared and Adrianne’s families model their dresses around the livingroom, Jared stares at the bottom of his bag, fingers ghosting over the old compass he packed at the last minute. He doesn’t know why he brought it with him, it was an impulse before he left his apartment.

Jensen’s gift has always been around in his room since he moved, even if he doesn’t open it often or do any more than grab it and play with it every now and then. It’s just— _there_ , in his drawers or his desk, always within reach. It felt weird to leave it behind.

They hear a knock on the door and Jared puts the compass on the bedside table, turning to see his mom asking if they're going to stay and give their opinions on the dresses.

“We have plans already.” He and Chad answer in unison, and make sure to sneak out of the house ten minutes later. They don’t have plans at all, but anything sounds better than that.

 

—

 

Their second day in Austin turns out to be more fun than Jared expected. Falling back in place in his city, with his family being loud and his house constantly packed is like second nature for him, helping him relax and feel a little less worried about _everything_. At least he'll be in a familiar environment the entire time, that should be points in his favor. He has breakfast with Jeff and Chad in their backyard that morning, since all the tables inside are filled with flower arrangements for the reception and Jared’s mom will probably murder them right then if they mess one of them.

Later that day he has to go to buy a present, which means spending over three hours of walking around with Chad and laughing at half the things Adrianne registered, texting her pictures of horrible home decoration items that aren’t included in the list and making her think that’s what she getting from them.

They meet with her, Danneel and Genevieve for lunch, and it turns out Adrianne’s best friends are even more fun than Jared remembered. They're both more excited about the bachelorette party they are throwing for Adrianne than the wedding itself, they even have a hefty bet going about who will get drunk first.

“It’s a good thing the bachelorette party isn't the night before the wedding, because what I’m wearing to both things is completely different.” Danneel snickers, making Adrianne snort and almost choke on her water. “Don’t wanna give your granny a heart attack by showing up to the ceremony with the dress that got me out of five traffic tickets just last month.”

“Pretty sure it's more than the dress working in your favor there, Queen double D’s.” Genevieve adds with a laugh and Danneel blows her a kiss.

“I know you wanna motorboat the goodies, Gen. Just gotta ask.”

“Been there, done that, Danni. It’s a fun ride.”

“You two are too fucking fun to have around,” Chad smiles from his seat, too entertained by their constant jokes and banter. “Remind me again why I didn’t know you before?”

“Because you were too young and I didn’t want them being a bad influence and perverting my sweet little guys.” Adrianne interrupts before any of them can answer, shaking her head and clicking her tongue. Danneel and Genevieve give her the same fake-offended stares, but she ignores them. “I mean, maybe Jared could have used a little bit of that when he was younger, but that’s another story.”

“Hey!” Jared protests, pointing at her. He wasn’t a complete prude when he was young, he was just a little shy, God forbid.

“I hear you’re trying to get dicked this week because of the wedding, good for you Jared, that’s the attitude.” Danneel winks at him and Jared blushes all kinds of red immediately, turning to look at Adrianne with his mouth open, looking at her in disbelief.

Well, his plan to fuck-Jensen-goodbye seems less and less of a secret every second, next thing he knows his entire family will be cheering him on or some shit.

“I’m sorry! We were shopping today and I let it out, and it's not like they're going to say anything to Jensen about you wanting to get him all over your sweet perky ass.” Adrianne shrugs and gives him a little smile.

“ _Adrianne!_ ” Jared groans, hiding his face in his hands, feeling his cheeks burn. They all laugh at the comment and Jared’s obvious fucking embarrassment, getting both Genevieve and Chad patting his back to encourage him.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You do have a pretty nice ass.” Genevieve rubs his arm and Chad laughs even harder by his side, earning a kick from Jared under the table. “I’m sure Jensen will want a piece of that.”

“A piece of _everything_. If I were Jensen, I’d eat you up.” Danneel nods solemnly, and Jared mutters _‘thank you’_ against his hands, pretty sure that half his blood must be in his cheeks right now. “I mean, I don’t know, but it always looked to me that Jensen is pretty good at eating ass.”

That even makes Jared laugh, throwing his head back while Adrianne covers her mouth after spitting out some of her drink, making everybody at the table laugh even harder.

Spending the rest of the day with the girls and Chad works magic on Jared, and by the time he gets back home he’s relaxed and less fidgety about the wedding rehearsal the next day. Jensen is supposed to get there sometime in the morning, but when Jared wakes up he hears Jeff telling Adrianne that apparently there was a problem with Jensen’s flight and he’s stuck in the airport. He may not even be on time for rehearsal and then dinner.

Jared tries to hide his big smile while he has breakfast and it probably doesn’t work, since Adrianne has to walk behind him and smack his head, whispering _“be cool”_ while tugging on his hair. Jared doesn’t want to be cool. One less day of Jensen means one more day of not facing him, which he’s more than okay with.

That shouldn’t be his attitude when he’s supposed to go and find a way to have sex with him, but the last time he saw Jensen he was crying and running away from him.

He thinks he might be allowed to want to postpone the awkward reunion as much as possible.

He dresses in a more informal suit than the tux he has for the wedding day, but Jared’s still not used to it, feeling silly and not really comfortable. He never has to dress up for his work — which he will have tons of when he’s back home, goddamnit — and he barely goes anywhere back in New York where he has to wear formal clothes. Jared can’t even figure out how to make his hair work, bangs falling all over his forehead and looking messy even though he took a shower and his hair's still wet. He gives up after ten minutes, Jensen isn't going to be there anyway so it doesn’t matter how he looks.

Sandy gives her approval of his outfit for the night over the phone, even if Jensen is missing it, saying that Jared needed to look good either way. Jared honestly doesn’t see it that way and would feel more content in jeans and a simple shirt, but Sandy gives him a five minute long speech on reasons why he looks way better dressed that way, how Jared needs to stop kicking his self esteem and how the right clothes can get everybody laid.

“I still feel weird. I think the last time I had a suit on was for our college graduation.” Jared tells Chad once they arrive to the Memory Lane Event Center, where the wedding is taking place in a couple of days. Or at least just the ceremony, since the reception is at Hilton Downtown. Jared has absolutely no idea how much fucking money this entire thing is gonna cost Jeff, Adrianne and their families, and doesn’t even want to ask.

They have the rehearsal that night, which for Jared means he needs to stand up at front, and stay there as one of the groom’s men. It’s more work for the maid of honor and best man — who apparently won’t make it that night, thank God — and tons of instructions for the bride and the groom. When to speak, when to say the vows, when to exchange the rings and all the things Jared is glad he’s not supposed to help with because he would end up forgetting or fucking up.

He pulls on his tie, trying to loosen it up a little bit. “I feel stupid.” Jared mutters again, letting out another sigh, thinking he will feel and look even worse for the wedding day in a fucking tux he’s never actually tried on before.

“Relax, this is just for a couple hours and then you can go back to looking like shit.” Chad claps his arm and Jared rolls his eyes, looking around. Only the wedding party and a couple family members are around for this part, since there’s not much to do or learn apart from where to stand and how to walk to the altar for most of them.

“Thank you.” Jared replies with sarcasm and Chad pats his back again. They're waiting for some of Jeff’s friends from work and one of Adrianne’s sister to get there so they have all of the groomsmen and bridesmaids there to start the rehearsal. “And right back at you.”

“I’m not the one trying to get cock this week, so I don’t have to care how I look. Not that I don’t look fucking great all the time anyway,” Chad leans against a wall, looking as bored as could be. Jared doesn’t feel any different, but Adrianne gave them a stern look when they proposed just going to the dinner rehearsal and not the whole thing. Who knew fucking weddings had so many goddamn steps.

“I’m not trying anything so far.” Jared reminds and lets out a sigh. He doesn’t know if he’s relieved or disappointed at himself for it. He told himself back in New York that he would give it a try. Not that he can try shit without Jensen around, but the fact that he’s glad about Jensen being stuck at an airport in Dallas says a lot. “Do you think this will start anytime soon? I don’t know why Anne wants us here.”

“You’re one of the fucking groomsmen, makes sense. What the hell am _I_ doing here? I swear Adrianne doesn’t leave me at your house alone because she thinks I’m gonna ruin one of the flowers arrangements or blow my nose with her wedding dress by accident or some shit.” He clicks his tongue, shoving his hands in his pockets and yawning, making Jared chuckle.

“Look at the positive side,” Jared teases and Chad snorts. “She wants you here because you’re her friend.”

“Oh yeah? Then what’s the positive side for you, mister-fucking-sunshine?”

“Jensen isn’t here.” Jared replies proudly, puffing out his chest. He gets another day to get ready to face his failed teenage crush he's been avoiding like fire for the past six years, which sounds pretty sweet to him at the moment. “I’m glad he’s not around yet.”

“Well, thank you, Jared. It’s good to see you too.”

Jared freezes on the spot, breath catching in the middle of his chest and eyes widening as he registers the voice behind him. The look on Chad’s face that says nothing but _‘fuck’_ as he stares at someone over Jared’s shoulder is all the confirmations he needs. He would recognize that voice anywhere, even if he hasn't heard it in years. It sounds much more rough and mature than it was the last time they spoke, making the hairs on Jared’s neck stand up, a light tingle traveling down his spine.

 _Fuck his life_.

Jared closes his eyes and swallows, feeling his heart almost beating out of his chest as he slowly turns around to find Jensen standing right there, looking at him with an amused expression.

It feels like a punch in his stomach to see him again.

Jared’s taller than Jensen now, but only by a couple inches, and even so, it still feels like looking up at him, Jensen's presence making Jared feel young and out of place. Opposite from him, Jensen doesn’t look uncomfortable at all wearing a suit, clothes molding to his body in a way that makes Jared remember why he had most of his uncontrollable teenager boners around Jensen.

His imagination didn’t do Jensen any justice in the past years, there’s no comparison between the image Jared had in his head of twenty-three year old Jensen and the version he has in front of him now. Jensen looks so fucking hot it actually makes Jared a little mad and bitter inside, like Jensen is some kind of wine that just gets better with age.

Is not fair, if at least Jensen was less attractive now this would be easier.

Not less embarrassing though, because Jensen just fucking heard him say he was glad Jensen wasn’t there, but at least a little bit easier.

“Jensen.” Jared says through his teeth, trying to smile and only managing an awkward grimace, looking Jensen right in the eye. He can almost feel his knees going weak, but he forces himself to stand straight and not shy away, the prideful part of himself wanting to show Jensen he’s not the same shy kid he saw the last time years ago.

Maybe hiding from him for years wouldn't be the best way to back up that plan, but it's too late for that.

“Nice to see you again. How long has it’s been, five years? Six?” Jensen asks nonchalantly, and _fuck_ , he’s clearly not even going to pretend that didn’t happen or act casually, Jensen’s going to for the kill.

Jared takes a deep breath, trying to not take the bait.

“Six.” He mumbles, clenching one of his fists and giving Jensen another awkward smile as Jensen nods slowly.

“Right.” Jensen crosses his arms over his chest and Jared can see the suit tightening around his biceps, making Jared bite his tongue and fix his eyes on Jensen’s face again so he doesn’t catch him ogling— _Jesus_ _, being in his late twenties is really working for Jensen._ “Chad.” He adds, looking past Jared and giving him a simple nod.

“Ackles.” Chad replies behind Jared, walking closer until he’s standing by his side, making Jared feel a little more backed up. “Demonstrating once more that doctors aren’t as busy as everybody thinks by flying back to Austin _again_? Charming. But also kind of sad.”

Jensen squints at Chad and Jared almost wants to laugh out loud for a split second, too proud of his best friend’s ability to make fun of others in such a subtle but offensive way, a thing that Jared has never figured out how to do himself, no matter how much time he spends around Chad.

“I always make time to come to Austin for important events, a thing that Jared should try to do more often.” He replies with a shrug, and Jared has never wanted to knee someone in the balls this bad before.

“Oh, you motherfu—” Chad starts at the same time Jared opens his mouth to argue, but Jeff and Adrianne appear in that moment, walking towards them while Adrianne loudly calls for all three, almost if she could feel her wedding-senses tingling at the possibility of a fight starting during the rehearsal. Not that Jared would do more than get angry and spit some phrases he would later regret, but she knows _Chad_.

Chad is the kind who would have no problem taking off his jacket and breaking someone’s nose if the moment calls for it.

Jared doesn’t think they need to go there with Jensen though. He’s not _that mad_ at him. He’s simply not used to being at the receiving end of Jensen’s wit and sarcasm, he was always around to see him jokingly use it on Jeff and mean it for real when talking about someone he didn’t like.

It kind of sucks to be the target, he’s almost as good as Chad.

“I’m so glad you could make it.” Jeff gets to their side and throws an arm over Jensen’s shoulders, and just like that he seems relaxed as Jared always saw him, flashing his brother a big smile and nodding. “It would not be my wedding without you around.”

“Can’t get married without the best man.” Jensen pats Jeff’s chest gently and Jared thinks it’s like watching them interact when he was still seventeen. Things between them haven’t changed over the past years, and at the same time, it couldn’t be more different between him and Jensen.

“Damn right I can’t.” Jeff turns to look at Jared then, giving him a smile. “Catching up with Jensen? Now that I think about it, with you always in New York all the time you barely see him.”

It’s like his brother is the only one who can’t see the neon pink elephant in the room, and for a moment Jared can see Adrianne exchanging a look with Chad while Jensen fixes his eyes directly on him.

“Actually, baby, now that Jensen and my sister are here, we should start the rehearsal. I’m pretty sure everybody is waiting to move on to the dinner.” Adrianne laughs, distracting Jeff and leaning close to kiss his cheek.

Jeff agrees right away, not catching on to the distraction from the same invisible subject for him, and in less than a minute Jared is being dragged to the altar along with Jensen and the other groomsmen. Chad pointedly looks at Jared while he walks to the altar and Jared nods, letting him know it’s okay, completely ignoring Jensen walking right in front of him.

When they get to the front of the room, the loud minister that Adrianne picked directs them to their spot for the duration of the wedding ceremony. They have to stand the entire time, and even though Jared made sure to go at the end of the line, when the minister asks him what is his relation to the couple and he mutters _“I’m— uh my brother is the groom.”_  he gets dragged all the way to the front of the line and right by Jensen’s fucking side.

 _Fantastic_. His luck just couldn’t get worse.

“Family is always closest to the groom in the groomsmen line.” The minister tells Jared with a stern voice, like he’s supposed to know all the rules and details of the damn wedding, and when Jared makes a face as the man turns around, he swears he can hear Jensen snort by his side.

“Something you find funny?” Jared whispers, looking to the front to watch the bridesmaids getting told how fast they're supposed to walk down the aisle along with the music. Ceremonies are annoying.

“You’re such a child when you make faces.” Jensen replies in a content tone, throwing Jared off, who was waiting for another sarcastic remark in his direction. He bites his tongue and curses himself when he feels himself laugh, wanting to discuss about he’s so not a kid anymore.

“I wasn’t making a face, you’re so—! _Ugh!_ No, you know what? Whatever.” He hisses through his teeth, talking so low he has no idea how Jensen is hearing him. Jared looks at him for a moment and then turns his head again. “You’re a dick.”

He huffs and crosses his arms, trying to concentrate on how important it is that Danneel is not amused about the minister telling her she’s walking way too fast and not going along with the nuptial march.

“Oh, come on.” Jensen whispers after a second, nudging Jared with his elbow and chuckling softly when he smacks it away and makes an annoyed face. “I wasn’t trying to piss you off for real before, don’t get like that.”

Jared blinks and keeps his eyes fixed on anything but Jensen, and when he doesn’t answer, Jensen jabs him in his side with two fingers, making him jump on his spot.

“We’re at the rehearsal, stop that.” Jared whispers in a heated voice, swatting at Jensen and trying not to look at his face longer than necessary, shooting him a pointed look for a second before turning away. But who is he kidding? Not stealing little glances at Jensen now that he has him right there is impossible.

“Yeah, because rehearsing standing up is so difficult.” Jensen rolls his eyes and then smiles, and it’s such a happy, sincere, _I’m-so-damn-gorgeous_ smile that Jared wants to bang his face against the altar. “I wanna talk to you.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“Kind of got that vibe when I heard you say you were glad I wasn’t here. Not that six years of totally avoiding me didn’t make that clear.” Jensen raises his eyebrows and Jared bites his lower lip, not knowing how to argue with that, so Jensen keeps going. “We need to talk.”

“No we don’t.” He argues immediately, heart starting to race in his chest at Jensen's words. Talking looks kind of necessary if he wants to get in Jensen’s pants — a plan that now look beyond ridiculous, how can he sleep with Jensen if he can barely spend more than three minutes in the same room with the man without getting angry at him — but he doesn’t think he’ll like _this_ kind of talking. “We have _nothing_ to talk about, Jensen.”

“Oh, I think we _do_ considering you haven’t stopped running away from me since _that night_.”

Jared freezes, his entire body tensing at the mention of something he barely lets himself think about. The idea of Jensen thinking about that night feels bizarre, something Jared never stopped to consider in all those years. It only makes sense, why wouldn’t Jensen think of it? It has different implications for both of them, probably didn’t have an impact in Jensen’s life like it did on Jared. That night changed everything for him, marked an ‘after’ and ‘before’ on his life even if he didn’t want it to affect him that badly. It’s the night Jensen rejected him, the worst night of Jared’s life.

He almost wants to take that night out of Jensen’s head, to leave no trace of that memory. He doesn’t want Jensen to think about it, doesn’t want him to replay the vision of Jared begging him to please not pull away, to please keep going.

 _It’s his night_. It’s _his_ heart breaking. Jensen should have none of it.

“Jared we _need_ to talk about it.” Jensen insists, leaning close to him and making Jared blink back to reality. He sounds serious, no more playful voice lingering around — which still has Jared offbase, he thought Jensen would at least be mad at him for the rest of the night after the rude first encounter — because he’s not playing anymore. “I think six years of avoiding this conversation is enough.”

“We don’t need to—!”

A cough from the minister makes Jared cut himself off mid-sentence and look up, finding everybody staring at them. Jared looks down immediately, face coloring as he whispers “sorry” and Jensen loudly announces ‘Just catching up with a friend, that’s all’, patting Jared’s back and sending tingles all the way down to his spine. _Jensen hasn’t touched him in years_.

It’s comforting in a way Jared wishes he didn’t enjoy.

Jensen stands straight again, moving out of Jared’s space, and Jared dares to peek around. Jeff looks amused by the interruption — God bless his ignorance of the entire thing — while Adrianne is giving him a big smile. Chad looks like he’s about to bust a lung if he keeps containing his laughter any longer, almost vibrating in the front row of chairs as he tries to keep it together. When he looks away, he ends up staring at Genevieve, who winks at him before giving him a thumbs up.

Jared hates all his friends.

Jensen, for his part, looks like he’s capable of not leaning close the rest of the wedding rehearsal — the most boring yet stressful hour of Jared’s life — and not interrupting it anymore to whisper to Jared. But Jensen’s earlier determination tells him that this little “we need to talk” moment is far from over.

It’s almost ironic, how his teen self would have killed for Jensen to want to talk to him _that bad_ , and now he practically wants to run at the idea of facing his old crush.

A part of him expected for Jensen to want to ignore the obvious. Ignoring the elephant in the room is so easy; couldn’t he just go for it? But that's not like Jensen at all. He's always been a straightforward person, which Jared used to admire but isn't particularly fond of now. Jared was going to take one for the team and pretend Jensen didn’t break his heart six years ago, it’s only common courtesy for Jensen to play along too, _thanks a lot_.

All Jared wanted for this week was to to have a good time seeing his brother and wonderful sister-in-law get married, have some fun and maybe talk to Jensen as if nothing ever happened, pretend there were no rough edges in their interrupted friendship, and maybe on the night of the wedding get kind of tipsy on champagne and try his luck hitting on Jensen.

That was it. If he got really lucky Jensen would go for it, they would have some amazing sex — because _, yes_ , the teenager in the back of his head was still enough of a fanboy to be sure that Jensen would be a hot orgasm machine in bed, let him dream — then have a simple conversation of _‘hey, great night, clearly we finished all our business by fucking it out, see you soon’_ and Jared could finally fly back to New York with no regrets.

But, as always, Doctor Jensen Ross Ackles never goes along with his plans, does he?

As soon as the rehearsal is finally over and the minister gives a short speech about how in some days Jeff and Adrianne’s love will be tied forever in this very building, yada yada yada, they‘re good to go and Jared pretty much power walks away from the altar as if he life depends on it.

There’s another group of people milling about the room— probably the next happy couple ready for a horribly tedious rehearsal— which makes it harder for Jared to locate anyone he knows to cling to for dear life.

He turns around, looking for Chad or Adrianne, even one of his parents would do the trick now, and when he’s about to make it to the door he feels a familiar hand pressing to his lower back before Jensen’s voice in his ear almost makes him jump out of his skin.

“Think we could have that talk now, Jay?” Something melts inside of him — _Jay_ — as Jensen uses the hand on his back to guide him out of the room and into the next corridor. Jared can barely form a thought, let alone voice a protest.

They finally stop after they turn right at the end of the fancy corridor, and Jared is not ready for _anything_ that’s about to happen, so he focuses on looking at some painting behind Jensen and the rich wallpaper under it.

“Can’t you even look at me, please? You look like I dragged you here to murder you.” Jensen sighs, letting go of Jared’s back. He still has that sense of humor Jared loved back then. The same personality that managed to make Jared comfortable no matter what situation. _Goddamn him._ “I know I looked like a serial killer when I was a teenager, but I swear I only wanna talk here.”

Jared bites his lower lip, tries to hide an uninvited smile but Jensen latches onto it right away.

“Haven’t made you smile in a while. You were the only one who always laughed at my jokes, still feels pretty good.” Jensen comments, crossing his arms over his chest, and Jared dares to look up, words tingling on his tongue for him to let them out.

So many things he’s wanted to say to Jensen over the years.

“And whose fault is that?” Jared whispers, but Jensen is close enough to hear him, arching his eyebrows in surprise.

Too many fucking things to say. So of course Jared is gonna latch onto the bitter ones.

“Excuse me? _Whose fault?_ ” He repeats, shaking his head. “Last time I checked, you were the one who moved to another state without even letting me know. Thanks for that, by the way, real classy move from you, Jared. I found out you were in New York because I walked into your room and it was _empty_.”

Jared can see some pain in Jensen’s eyes as he throws that in in his face, but he completely dodges it and turns the guilt-tripping argument around. _Oh, no no_. This is _not_ about what Jared did.

“Last time I checked you were a douchebag to me when I was still a teenager.” Jared throws back, placing his hands on his hips. “So thank _you_ for making me cry the last time we saw each other, _asshole_.”

Jensen seems thrown by the accusation, and Jared lifts his chin proudly. That’s right, he can play that game too, and he can play it much better than Jensen, he has all the cards for it. His deck includes a heartbreak, tears and moving out of pure fucking pain and embarrassment at the mere thought of having to see Jensen again after being so brutally rejected.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Jensen argues, looking distressed right away. “I tried to go after you but you wouldn’t even let me talk to you!”

“What for?! You made it pretty clear you didn’t want me around, so I helped you with that!”

Jensen opens his mouth, looking offended before shifting back to angry. “I never said I didn’t want you around, God, _Jared!_ I didn’t even bring you here to fight but that’s clearly what you want us to do today so let’s roll.” He huffs, stepping closer to him and making Jared’s anger flat line for a second, distracted by Jensen’s closeness. “All I did was stop you because you’re my best friend’s little brother— fuck, you were still underage!”

“Didn’t seem to bother you when you kissed me first!” Jared yells, wanting to kick something. _Jensen the good guy._ Jensen the savior, stopping Jared and making him feel like shit because the good guy couldn’t follow along with what he started. “You kissed _me_ first. You started it, Jensen. You. You. _You!_ ” Jared uses his finger to tap Jensen’s chest at each pause, making sure to press harder on the last one. “I was perfectly fine spending the night watching movies and eating with you without doing _anything_ before you got all over me and—”

“And then I kissed you, _yes_ , I know that.” Jensen grabs his wrists, only using the hold to bring Jared closer. He almost bites his tongue after being interrupted mid-phrase, feeling numb when their chests press together and Jensen makes sure to keep him there. “And then I stopped myself from taking advantage of a confused teenage boy who was not only _my best friend’s_ _little brother_ but also my _friend_.”

Jared blinks, bitterness coming back and breaking through the spell of Jensen touching him.

“ _Advantage? Confused?_   Who the fuck told you that!” Jared rages, feeling like it’s that night all over again with Jensen using all those words that made his love for him seem like a bratty crush with no meaning at all. “Since when does me kissing you back and saying I wanted you to keep going mean I was confused or you were taking advantage? Fucking shit, Jensen!”

He doesn’t remember ever being this angry in his life. Not even when it all happened, he was more crushed than mad. But after six years Jared, is sure as hell much more bitter and much less sad.

“You were just a teen!” Jensen insists, looking him right in the eye. “I couldn’t do that to you, it was gonna be your first time and I was fucking five years older and you were just seventeen!”

“Well, fuck you, you didn’t even want to let me go and do it with Stephen Amell, either. And he was my age!”

He hasn’t thought about Stephen in years, he barely even kept contact with him and knows they barely talked via email after Jared moved to New York and Stephen went to back to Canada, but it’s like all the details and memories of back then are coming back to Jared the more he argues with Jensen.

And even it’s been years, Jared can see the change in Jensen’s face at the mention, jaw clenching and eyebrows furrowing as he takes a deep breath, letting Jared feel the movement in how close they are pressed together.

“You told me you didn’t want it to be with him.” Jensen practically hisses, teeth pressed together and Jared nods.

“Yeah, I did. And then I told you who I wanted for that, didn’t I?”

Jensen licks his lips slowly, and Jared feels too tempted to look down and follow the movement, but he forces himself to keep looking straight at Jensen’s eyes, breath catching in his throat for a second.

“And that’s when I kissed you.” Jensen whispers, hands dropping from Jared’s wrists, making him miss the warm and careful touch right away, leaving an empty tingling sensation on his skin. Jensen steps back and Jared feels the same urge to make him stay close as he did when Jensen stopped kissing him years ago on the couch in his old livingroom. “And then I also realized that kissing someone who wanted me but was too young to know what he was doing was wrong, and I had to stop it before it got too far.”

Jared sighs, tired of insisting how he knew perfectly well what he was doing and how he would never regret anything he did with him. “I did more than want you, Jensen.”

Jensen a double take at that, blinking and looking truthfully confused.

“What’s that supposed to—?”

“ _Guys!_ ”

They both turn around when they see Jared’s dad walking towards them. For a second Jared wants to throw his hands to the air and pray as a _thank you_ for him and Jensen stepping away from each other seconds ago. His dad walking into them pressed all over each other would be really damn hard to explain.

“Everyone's looking for you, we’re supposed to go to the dinner now.” Gerald pats Jensen’s shoulder and then smiles at Jared, not detecting a hint of tension that it’s so obvious to the two of them.

“Sorry, we were looking for the bathrooms and got caught up talking.” Jensen nods, replacing the earlier confusion on his face with a small smile, and of course Gerald believes him. Why wouldn’t he? Jensen has been Jeff’s best friend since they were kids, so he and Jared getting caught up talking alone shouldn’t look suspicious at all.  

“Happened the same to me with Adrianne’s dad, think we were all dying to talk after such long rehearsal.” Jared smiles at his dad as he pats his back now, and they all start to walk to the door “Better hurry up, we’re already late.”

Jensen keeps the conversation going the entire time until they reach the parking lot, but his eyes stay on Jared most of the time. Their chat about that night might be over for now, but they’re not done with it, and Jensen’s expression is all confirmation Jared needs for that.


	3. Chapter 3

Jared made absolutely sure to not take the same car as Jensen to go the restaurant for the dinner, going for the same car as his parents, Chad and two of Jeff’s groomsmen — and all four guys had to almost sit all over each other so they could fit in the damn backseat — even if he would have been much more comfortable in Jeff’s car with Adrianne, her sister and Jensen. He would rather spend forty minutes with his cheek pressed against a window and Jeff’s friends sending him annoyed looks for picking the most packed car than have to suffer through a confined vehicle and Jensen’s heated stares in his direction.

Chad only gave him a knowing look when Jared appeared at the parking lot and hurried to his side, hissing _‘tell you at the restaurant’_ before they had to make a miracle happen to fit everyone inside of the car. 

Jared still has other four days around Jensen and the first hour had been a stressful nightmare already.

“So, he just said _‘we’re talking right now motherfucker’_ , dragged you away and it ended with y’all fighting and you calling him an asshole?” Chad asks as soon as they’re out of the car and standing outside the restaurant, waiting for the others to go inside and pick a table. He takes out a cigarette, completely ignoring Jared’s look. “Sweet.”

“Yeah, well, not so much.” Jared huffs, brushing his bangs out of his face. “You were the one who came up with the idea of sleeping with Jensen and now you’re glad I told him off?”

“Dude, come on. You’re most likely gonna end up having angry sex if you keep fighting, which is also an option.” Chad assures, playing with his lighter before lightening up the cigarette. “Nobody said you had to sleep with him on good terms. Angry fucking counts too.”

Jared lets out a nervous laugh, shaking his head. He seriously doubts that fighting with Jensen is gonna lead them to sex, even if they did get kind of physical moments ago.

“Also, you can’t tell me you haven’t been _dying_ to tell him to go eat shit all these years.” Chad elbows him, looking way too entertained with the thought. “Telling people off is good for your health, believe me, most effective treatment on earth.”

He has a point there. “I did feel good to tell him some of those things, about that night.”

“That’s what I’m saying, J-man. I think you should keep throwing shit that happened years ago into his face until you’re both so riled up you end up fucking it out.” Chad winks at an old lady who is currently walking into the restaurant and giving them a judging look, and Jared can’t help laughing as the woman walks away offended.

“ _That’s_ your advice? Fight with Jensen until we fuck?”

“Hey, it worked for me in other cases.” Chad shrugs and throws the cigarette to the floor after taking another long drag, stepping on it right away. At least he didn’t finish it, that’s something. “Give it a try.”

Jared is not that convinced. It kind of makes sense, at least as much as anything Chad says can, but he doesn’t have a chance to keep talking about it before Jeff’s car arrives, which means is Jensen-time once again. Jared grabs Chad by his shirt, pulling him inside so they can take spots at the table before Jared winds up stuck sitting in a seat next to Jensen all night.

But of course, the reserved table Adrianne asked for has all the seats labeled already, and he’s been seated two chairs away from Jensen. Jared makes sure to send Adrianne daggers with his eyes that only serve to make her blow him a kiss and mouth _‘you’re welcome’._

Jared honestly hates all his friends so much tonight.

Luckily, this time he has Chad sitting next to him so he can spend most of the dinner talking with him and ignoring Jeff and Jensen joking and his mom making sure to include Jensen in every single conversation Jared tries to have with her. He gives up after the third try, when she’s asking him about his work and then swoops Jensen in out of nowhere so he can listen to Jared’s answer.

He should get used to it, Jensen is probably gonna be around the entire time and as close friend to the family he’s always going to be too close for comfort.

The dinner is supposed to help Jeff’s family meet Adrianne’s family and all their friends, so the most important guests already know each other for the wedding. It’s also a way of saying _thank you_ from Adrianne and Jeff for all the help from everybody, and Jared is supposed to go out of his way and probably talk to Adrianne’s cousins or Jeff’s friends from work, but he makes sure to stay right there only chatting with Chad.

He can feel Jensen’s eyes on him most of the time, too, but he also ignores that the best he can.

“Dude, he just keeps staring.” Chad snorts, making Jared blush and look away purposely. “It’s getting kinda creepy. Ackles is unsubtle as fuck.”

“Shut up.” Jared hisses, looking down at his almost empty plate and playing with the rest of his food. “At least he’s busy talking to my dad. I’ll be right back.”

He says a quick _“excuse me”_ to the table and walks away, looking for the bathrooms. He can feel his heart beating out of control in his chest, the idea of Jensen staring at him most of the night really getting to him.

The thing is, Jared is not used to having Jensen’s attention, or at least not like _that_. He was more than eager to get even a second of Jensen paying attention to him back then, and when it happened, it was always so _casual_. Jensen joking with him, Jensen talking with him for a moment, Jensen helping him with something for a couple minutes. This is new and completely out of Jared’s comfort zone.

_He never had Jensen intently looking at him nonstop for almost two hours._

It’s almost like he’s drowning, not knowing what to do with Jensen trying to make him look back, too intimidated by being Jensen's center of attention.

“Just breathe.” Jared tells himself in the bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror before leaning down to wash his face with cold water, taking deep breaths. It’s all fine, the night is almost over and he can make sure to take a different car than Jensen, and that will be it. “Dinner is almost over, everything it okay. _I’m okay_.”

“Well, I would hope so.” He hears behind him, and when he looks up to the mirror he sees Jensen reflected behind him, making Jared jump and curse aloud.

He didn’t even hear Jensen walk into the bathroom, for God’s sake!

“ _Jesus fuck!_ ” Jared yells, pressing a hand to his chest before giving Jensen a stressed look. “Would you— would you fucking stop doing that?!” He asks, feeling angry again when he sees Jensen try to bite down a smile. “Stop sneaking up on me like that!” Jensen is gonna give him a heart attack before the wedding even happens if he keeps that up.

“Sorry, sorry.” Jensen raises his hands, trying to look innocent, only making Jared squint at him. “You looked kind of...I don’t know, uncomfortable at the table, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A part of Jared wants to preen at the idea of Jensen still being the same worrywart he was when they were younger, always checking up on Jared when he fought with Jeff or was feeling sick. The other part of Jared, of course, wants to beat up the flattered part and make it stay silent. He’s supposed to still be mad at Jensen, and he keeps sending Jared mixed signals by pissing him off in two seconds and then doing something sweet to make it up.

“Well, I’m fine.” Jared lies, trying to look unbothered by Jensen’s presence. “And I would be a little less, you know, _‘uncomfortable’_ , if you stopped staring at me all the time, just a thought. I don’t— _like_ people looking at me so much.”

To his surprise, all Jensen does is give him a dopey grin, and that is not helping him at all.

“I don’t think anything I said is _that_ amusing.”

“You’re still the same shy guy I knew six years ago.” Jensen says with a shrug, crossing his arms over his chest and looking smug about it for some reason, and that accusation makes Jared feel a little more brave and a lot more offended.

He is, in no fucking way, the same shy mess he was before. At least not around Jensen, because he doesn’t have feelings for him anymore. Jensen couldn’t be more wrong and Jared will be very pleased to demonstrate that any day of the week.

Jared huffs, moving a step closer. “That’s not true!” He argues, and Jensen’s smile stays in place. What a stupid, stupid beautiful smile. Jared hates it. “Stop smiling like that, I’m not like that at all anymore. God, you’re so full of yourself.”

“Jesus, aren’t you ready to fight and wrestle with me all night.” Jensen shakes his head, but he doesn’t look any less amused. It takes all of Jared’s willpower to ignore his dirty sense of humor — that he got from Chad, probably — and not find the innuendo in Jensen’s words. “I just came to check on you, and maybe keep talking if we can. No need to get your claws out to scratch the shit out of me,  Jay.”

That makes Jared blush against his will, taking a sharp breath and looking even more offended.

“I’m not getting my claws out! And I told you we have _nothing_ to talk about!” How many times does Jared have to say it? No way he’s not making himself clear. They talked more than enough earlier that night, and it was a conversation that wasn’t even supposed to happen in his plans anyway. “We even tried to do some of that talking and ended in an argument, so what does it matter?” Jared groans, tired of having to think over and over again about the one night he doesn’t want to remember. “It’s over now, Jensen! It’s been six years! Who cares if I was in love with you and you rejected me? I’m fucking done talking about something that doesn’t take us anywhere—”

“ _Woah, woah, woah!"_   Jensen shakes his head and closes his eyes for a moment before he looks right back at Jared, expression making Jared’s heart skip a beat. “You never said anything about love. You _loved_ me?”

Jared’s breathing hard and feeling numb while Jensen looks completely taken aback, mouth slightly open and eyes glued to him. He stares at Jared’s face, almost like he’s looking for something, but Jared’s not sure what he wants from him. Jensen’s question feels like an electric shock, as if someone just pressed a defibrillator against his chest for too long, making Jared wince as he stares back, hands starting to shake.

 _What?_ No, no way. He said it that night, he told Jensen, right? He’s almost sure he let it out at some moment in between the kissing and the touching, he told Jensen. He told Jensen about his feelings, he told he wanted him.

“You were in love with me?” Jensen repeats, voice louder than before, advancing into Jared’s space before he’s ready for it. Jared keeps looking, back, trashing the memories inside of his head trying to find the moment he told Jensen how he felt. Because he _did_. He fucking did. “I thought you only— you said you wanted me, but I didn’t think it was in that way too, I—”

Jensen looks just as startled as Jared does, expression too raw and real for him to be faking it. _Jensen honestly had no idea_.  

Jared looks away, trying to control his breathing. _No_. He told Jensen, or at least made it clear somehow, him telling Jensen he wanted him to be his first, that it was all he ever wanted. It was implicit, at least! No way that Jensen’s didn’t catch onto that, how Jared didn’t only want and like him physically. It was more than fucking clear, why else would Jared end crying and moving away if it was just a superficial crush? Jensen— Jensen had to see it somehow.

“Jared.” Jensen starts again, making Jared snap his head back to look at him, tone serious enough to make Jared feel nervous and insecure. “Jared, you never said—”

“T-That’s not even the point right now!” Jared stutters, moving away from Jensen and trying to regain some of his composure. “How I felt about you has n-nothing to do with this! I’m not here to talk about us, I’m not here to discuss something that went down years ago, okay? I’m here because of Jeff and Adrianne’s wedding.” He tries to use his most firm voice, so Jensen understands he means business and nothing else. “ _This_ is not about you and me.”

Jensen stays silent for a moment, still looking at Jared like he did most of the night, and Jared still doesn’t know what to do when he’s the center of Jensen’s attention. What is he supposed to do when Jensen looks at him like that?

“Really? Not about us?” He finally repeats, and when Jensen steps closer, Jared’s heart jumps a little, and he wants to punch himself one second later. “Because it kind of looks like it is.”

Jared doesn’t even know what to do with that, is not even sure what it means. He gave Jensen a way out of ever mentioning what went down between them and he’s not taking it. Jared has no idea where to go from there.

One thing he knows for sure, though. It’s not about him and Jensen, anymore. Not now, Jared’s not going down that road again, he knows how the story ends if he even tries it.

“It hasn’t been about you and me in years.” Jared whispers, trying to find a way to make it clear for Jensen too. But to make everything worse, Jensen only looks more determined at Jared’s words, making the same face he would before a big football game, the same face he made when he was talking about getting into medical school, and the same one Jared knows means that Jensen is for _real_.

He really doesn’t fucking know what to do with that.

Jared looks down, thinking that there’s no point to staying in there anymore, but when he walks past Jensen to go back to the table he hears him speak again.

“I’m not gonna let you get away like you did last time, Jay.”

Jared bites his lower lip and doesn’t turn his head, mind set on not letting Jensen lure him in again. He’s itching to know what Jensen means, wants to find out what’s behind all the phrases he’s throwing around that Jared can’t find a meaning between. But there’s no point in that. He didn’t fly to Austin for _this_. And if anything happens between him and Jensen, it sure as hell won’t be a conversation that will wake up old feelings inside of him.

“Well, it seems like it’s already happening.” Jared answers before walking out of the bathroom, feeling the urge to throw up his heart so he never has to deal with Jensen making it want to explode out of his chest ever again.

 

—

 

When Jared wakes up the next day, it’s already past one in the afternoon and he can hear way too many voices downstairs, which means most of his aunts and cousins are around again. Jared doesn’t really mind, he's always liked how big and loud his family is, but a part of him wants to be curled up in his bed in New York with only Sadie as company and no confusing memories from the night before.

The dinner ended without much incident after he went back to the table, with Jensen appearing too a little after just so it wouldn’t look suspicious. Thankfully, he was staying at Jeff’s apartment, so he had to take off with his brother while Jared went back to his house with Chad and his parents. There were no more opportunities for him and Jensen to talk again, but that didn’t stop Jensen from giving him looks all goddamn night.

“Ready to roll your ass out of bed?” Chad asks as he walks into  the room, throwing Jared a clean towel and making him groan and hide under it. “You can’t stay in there for ever, everybody down there is waiting for you, man.”

“Is Jensen here?” He dares to ask, voice muffled under the towel.

“What do you think?”

Jared groans again, cursing his luck and the fact that Jensen was probably there to offer his motherfucking help. He kind of really disliked that Jensen was so kind and helpful with his family. He still doesn’t know what Jensen meant about _‘not letting him go’_ and how it was _‘all about them’_ even if Jared didn’t see it that way at all. He didn’t need Jensen trying to make it better after six years, all he needed was to get in Jensen’s pants and get it over with.

If Jensen thought that he could stroll back into Jared's life and get back to their buddy-buddy relationship from before he was barking to the wrong tree. That wasn’t going to happen, Jared didn’t want to deal with Jensen in his life again, he just wanted to be able to leave things behind and get over him completely.

“Doesn’t he have better things to do? Fucking shit.” Jared complains while Chad laughs and throws him some clothes from his bag, saying that Sandy already texted what he’s supposed to wear that day. Jared just whines and moves out of bed, grabbing clothes and towel and going into his bathroom, making sure to state in a loud voice how his ugly shirts with personality would make him feel much better in such hard times, but Chad completely ignores him until he's ready.

By the time he makes it to the first floor — which is crowded with his aunts and cousins just as he expected, he’s a psychic when it comes to his family reunions — Jared is beyond hungry and praying he can sneak into the kitchen for something for breakfast, but as soon as his mom spots him she puts him on cooking, handing him one of her aprons and giving him clear instructions for what he has to do for the family lunch.

“I haven’t even had breakfast yet,” Jared says in the most innocent voice he can muster, flashing his mom a smile and hoping he can get excused from cooking roasted potatoes and baking dessert.

“Then you can eat something while you help your aunts, JT.” Sharon smiles at him, patting his cheek gently. “There are too many mouths to feed and not enough hands to help in the kitchen.” She turns him around and ties the apron at his back, chatting about how Jared should consider getting a haircut soon and to not forget to make some time to talk to his grandmother later since she’s been asking for him.

Should have known better and snuck out of the house from his window and got to the kitchen from the backyard door.

There are less possibilities of running into Jensen if he stays in the kitchen though, so he takes that as a comfort, only to walk right into Jensen sitting with Adrianne at the bar, happily chatting with two of his aunts.

Life is just plain mocking him by now.

“I thought you died and weren’t going to wake up at all.” Adrianne says with a laugh as he walks in, and he gives her a quick smile before all the hugging and kissing with his aunts starts, trying his hardest to not make any eye contact with Jensen, who _— surprise, surprise —_  is still doing the same shit he did yesterday and won’t. Stop. Looking. At. Him.

It’s really getting on Jared’s nerves now. Like, he’s pretty sure Jensen is just doing it to piss him off on purpose at this point.

“Mom sent me in as backup help. I’m in charge of potatoes and dessert.” He tells his aunt with he hopes is a casual voice,desperately trying to pretend he’s fine and not as nervous as he was during the dinner.

“Nice apron.” Jensen comments, out of nowhere, and Jared flushes a red almost as bright as the shirt he’s wearing.

Being complimented for wearing a pink apron, with white polka dots and the words _“I kiss better than I cook”_ blazoned across it is not at all what Jared expected when it came to Jensen commenting about his clothes that week. If at least it wasn’t so pink, so painfully might-shine-in-the-darkness-it’s-that-pink it would make Jared blush a little less, but of course it’s not, because this week is a constant reminder of how Jared can’t catch a break when Jensen is around him.

“Thanks.” Jared fumbles, feeling ridiculous as he bends over to look for a bowl to put the potatoes in before he washes them.

“I mean it.” Jensen adds from behind him, all the way from his spot on a chair, and when Jared turns to look from over his shoulder Jensen is smiling at him. A real smile. He’s not making fun of Jared. “The whole pretty housewife vibe really works for you. Makes for a nice view.”

Jared blinks, impossibly red and with his tongue tied in knots inside of his mouth. He knows how to form phrases and words in English, he swears, he was on the debate team and everything. _Words_. Jared knows them for sure.

Adrianne is giving Jensen the same surprised look Jared has, but she changes it for a smirk a moment later, playing with the glass full of water she has in one hand. “You know what? I think the same. Jared is a pretty one, right Jen?”

Jared almost cracks his neck after how fast he turns around again, and honestly he’s gonna start warming up the entire kitchen with how hot his face is, like some kind of embarrassed radiator. He starts to wash the potatoes slowly and two of them slip from his hands and splash into the sink when Jensen truthfully, and loudly, replies _“Yes he is.”_

Is he deliberately messing with Jared now? Is that it? Because he can’t find any other explanations for what just happened.

His aunt Martha decides to swoop in right then, asking something about the bachelorette party the next day to Adrianne, and Jared has never loved than woman more in his life. Not even when she gave him that batman costume he wanted when he was six. Aunt Martha is officially his favorite member of the family by far.

He tries to keep himself busy with his cooking tasks and manages to do pretty well with the roasted potatoes, accepting the fact that Jensen — and by default, Adrianne — are staying there chatting the entire time. They both offered to help but his aunts didn’t let them, and Jared honestly prefers it that way. It would be way harder to avoid Jensen if he was standing right next to him helping them cook.

"So, Jensen, aren’t you going to be with someone for the wedding?” His aunt Martha asks after he’s done talking about the last patient he treated, and just as fast as Jared’s love for her came floating around, it disappears. “Did you bring your girlfriend with you?”

Yeah, Jared never liked aunt Martha that much anyway.

Jensen doesn’t look as bothered by the question as Jared suddenly feels— luckily, he can use the excuse of looking for the ingredients for chocolate chips cookies around the kitchen to not make it look that obvious —, letting out a laugh and shaking his head.

“I’m single right now, so no, I came alone for the wedding.”

That’s enough to calm the sudden burning feeling in the middle of Jared’s chest, and he’s not happy at all to find out that he can still get jealous about Jensen’s girlfriends. That shouldn’t even be happening in the first place, Jared doesn’t care who Jensen decides to date or even fucking marry if he pleases.

“That’s impossible. A handsome doctor like you, I bet girls come running after you all the time.” His aunt jokes, making Jensen laugh once more and Jared rolls his eyes into the fridge when he opens it to look for milk.

But of course, stepping into the relationship topic means that now both his aunts have an open door to keep asking Jensen questions, and that’s how fifty horrible minutes of them asking and talking about Jensen’s ex-girlfriends, and even dates that didn’t end up being that serious. And Jared has to stand there, pretending to smile and letting out awkward laughs when needed as he bakes chocolate chip cookies and Jensen talks about girls he dated.

A part of him — probably the part that once fell in love with Jensen — almost wants to throw a tantrum, as if he’s still fifteen and too into his brother’s best friend to understand that he has no business getting angry over Jensen dating others since they are _nothing_. Hearing Jensen name girls that sound tall, funny and too beautiful to real pinches and pokes that jealous part of Jared in the middle of his chest, waking up a dormant green monster than he hasn’t felt alive in so damn long. He's forgotten how to handle it.

He doesn’t want to hear about Jensen’s past relationships, wishes he could just make an excuse to leave, but that would make the whole thing too obvious.

Jensen doesn’t seem uncomfortable talking about it, which means he’s probably over those breakups and has no leftover feelings for his ex-girlfriends.

And yet, it still rubs Jared wrong in all the worst places.

“And you, Jared?” one his aunts ask when Jensen is done talking about the last girl he dated, almost six months ago. He turns around after taking the cookies out of the oven, blinking and looking confused over the question. He was too busy having an internal pity party to pay attention. “Are you seeing someone, honey?”

Everybody in his family know he’s gay. Some part of it handles it better than the other, he even has a couple uncles who never even touch the topic and tip-toe around it as if Jared liking dick it’s such a forbidden subject. He appreciates that his aunt asked in a more open way instead of demanding for a “girlfriend” and putting Jared in the position of explaining once again how he doesn’t have girlfriends because he doesn’t like girls.

And even if Jared is thankful for that, it doesn’t take away the fact that Jensen just spent almost an hour talking about his past relationships, and Jared has nobody to talk about. It’s been awhile since the last time he had a boyfriend, and those two gossipy aunts already know about them and they're waiting for new information that Jared doesn’t have.

For a few seconds Jared remembers Chad’s idea of the Brazilian model with a monster cock, but that would be hard to explain and support. _Where the hell would he meet a model and have the guts to ask him out?_

“Well, actually—” Jared smiles and plays with his hands, and when he raises his eyes to seek out Adrianne for some help, he ends up looking at Jensen, who’s staring right back at him and looks way more interested in the conversation now than he was the entire time he was talking. He wants to know the answer, and that makes the situation even worse. He wishes he had someone to brag about, but the truth is that Jared has absolutely _nothing_.

“Oh, come on! Leave my poor little brother-in-law alone.” Adrianne jumps into action, moving from the table to go stand by Jared’s side and wrap an arm around his waist. “No need to interrogate him like we did with Jen over there. Jared doesn’t kiss and tell, right handsome?” She presses a kiss to his cheek and Jared laughs and tries to shove her away. One second later they're fake fighting as Adrianne tries to get past him to steal some cookies.

That’s enough distraction to have his aunts moving to another topic, and ten minutes later all the food is ready and it’s time for lunch. Jared grabs Adrianne’s wrist before she can leave the kitchen to go set the table to whisper _“Thank you”_ and give her a grateful look.

“I got your back, JT,” she says with a smile, patting his cheek. “But, you want to hear something interesting? I think Jensen looked more eager to know if you have a boyfriend than all your family combined.”

Jared shakes his head and tells her she’s out of her mind. But for the rest of the afternoon, he can’t shake away the feeling that Adrianne was right.

And that, for some reason, has Jared smiling nonstop the entire time.

 

—

 

The next day arrives without as much family in the house, which means that Jared and Chad get to lounge around in their underwear, order chinese food and spend most of the afternoon in the living room watching a marathon of Back to the Future movies that they found on TV by accident. Jared’s parents are somewhere with Adrianne’s parents doing something he didn’t pay much attention to, and Megan is apparently getting something fixed with her dress so she dragged her boyfriend with her — which, _awesome_ , now everybody in his family has someone except for Jared and he’s one hundred percent sure that’s gonna be a topic at the wedding reception.

They have Adrianne’s bachelorette party later that day, which gives them plenty of time to do _nothing_ wedding related for a few hours. Jared talked on the phone with Milo and Sandy that morning, to hear how Sadie was doing and comment on his advances with Jensen. He’s not sure if he really ought to call them advances, but Chad assured him they are.

After the family lunch, Jared had made sure to tell everything to his friend, only to get Chad telling him _“See? I fucking told you he would still be into you. Complimenting your stupid apron and wanting to know if you’re dating. Ackles has it bad, man.”_

And even if it’s a nice thing to hear, Jared still has his doubts. He still doesn’t understand the meaning behind Jensen’s words at the restaurant or why he keeps looking at Jared in that way he can’t put his finger on to describe.

He also realized that Jensen didn’t name a single guy when his aunts quizzed him about the people he's dated. Not a single one. Jared didn’t even know Jensen liked guys in general until the day they made out, and even after that, he wanted to stay away from anything Jensen-related too much to ask Adrianne or his brother.

Jared is n't sure if Jensen is out to anyone, or if he _needs_ to be out at all. Maybe that night was just a mistake in every sense of the world, and Jensen never considered being with a guy again.

Adrianne has been encouraging him the entire trip to score with Jensen, though, which means that she probably knows more information than him on that one. He has to make sure to ask her later.

“Stop worrying about the meaning of life for a second, dude.” Chad smacks the back of Jared’s head and he just huffs, taking a handful of popcorn and eating in silence. He’s sitting on the floor while Chad is sprawled on the couch. It might be a little childish, but Jared doesn’t like to sit down to watch movies on _that_ couch. “Today is the best fucking part of any wedding, the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Drinking. Stripping. And more drinking.” Chad enumerated, holding three fingers up right in front of Jared’s face. “What else can you ask for? Relax your ass, J-man.”

“My ass is very relaxed, thank you.” Jared replies, smacking Chad’s hand away from his face. “The party is for Adrianne, anyway.”

“Yeah, right. You’re telling me you’re not gonna enjoy a bunch hot dudes wearing underwear designed to get people sliding dollars in them? I’m surprised you don’t have a boner right now just thinking about it.” Chad jokes, shoving Jared and making him laugh, throwing some of the popcorn at Chad’s face.

Almost an hour later, Danneel and Genevieve get there along with Adrianne’s sister and two more of Adrianne's friends Jared hasn't met before, Katie and Alona. They look more ready than him and Chad, and Jared finally gets what Danneel meant about giving Adrianne’s grandmother a heart attack with the dress she’s wearing for the party. Jared thinks it also looks cute on her, but when he tells that to Danneel she smacks his arm a little too hard as an answer.

“ _Cute?_ I’m not wearing this to look cute, we’re not going to church.” She argues, making all of her friends laugh. “Me and Gen got Adrianne the best strippers I know from other parties, and believe me, at the end of the night even if the party is for her, we’re the single ones.”

“And shouldn’t you two go get ready too?” Genevieve asks, crossing her arms and giving them a stern look, like not being dressed accordingly for strippers and drinking is personally offending her. “I thought you wanted to get some action this week, Jared. May as well try with one of the strippers, because God, they are _hot_.”

Katie and Alona start whistling at catcalling at him, and Jared rolls his eyes and only answers _“Not action from just anyone, thank you.”_ without being too specific because, hello, Adrianne’s sister is there and knows Jensen too. He and Chad get pushed upstairs to get ready, so Jared takes a shower and changes into another set of clothes Sandy approved before he left. This “dressing Jared” game it’s starting to get a little old, he feels like some kind of doll. But even he has to admit Sandy has really good taste for it.

When he makes it downstairs, Adrianne is already there, wearing a short red dress that Jared knows Jeff _loves_ because his brother always looks like he’s five seconds from drooling every time she has it on. Jared understands the basic rule of looking as hot as possible for bachelorette parties, and he hopes that him being the exception doesn’t look bad. Sandy tried to make him pack fucking leather pants for that night, but that’s where Jared had to draw the line.

Adrianne is also wearing a pink crown with what looks like pink plastic dicks on each peak. Chad absolutely loses his shit when he sees her and Danneel and Genevieve look more pleased than ever.

They are both happily describing the page online where they ordered the crown months ago when Jeff walks into the house, followed by Jensen, Chris and Tom, and he pretty much has the exact same reaction Chad had, throwing his head back and laughing until he’s almost crying when he sees Adrianne’s pink crown. Jensen looks amused by it, telling Adrianne she should keep it for the wedding day and making Jeff laugh for another two minutes, holding his stomach and absolutely losing his shit at the dicks on the peaks.

“Hands off, Padalecki.” Danneel smacks Jeff’s hand away before he can touch the crown. “You’re not touching the bride tonight or anything she’s wearing. No gross committed relationship kissing during the bachelorette party night.”

“Oh come on, at least let me kiss her!” Jeff complains, opening his arms towards Adrianne, but Genevieve pushes him away while Adrianne runs to hide behind Chad.

“No way! You shouldn’t even be here, this is a night is without boyfriends.”Genevieve points at him, shaking her head, looking so serious about it that Jeff gives up about going after Adrianne. “You have your own party, piss off boys.”

“Fine, fine. I just came to get my little brother and Chad and then we’ll be out of your face.”

A synchronized chorus of _“what?!”_  from Adrianne, Danneel, Chad and Jared himself happens at the same time, all of them looking at Jeff with identical confused expressions. No way, he’s not going with Jeff to his bachelor party, that was never part of the plan.

“Honey, Jared is coming to _my_ party.” Adrianne says with a confused tone, hands on her hips. “So you’re not getting anyone from here. We’re leaving in ten, and they're both coming with us.”

“You’re joking.” Jeff huffs, but when Adrianne arches an eyebrow and shakes her head, his smile slowly disappears. “You _have_ to be joking. How is Jared not coming to my party?”

“What would he even _do_ at your party? He’s into guys, he’s clearly going to enjoy my strippers much better.” She argues right away, looking blown away by the idea of Jared going with Jeff instead of her. Jared has no doubt she’s gonna win this round, so he stays out of it, letting the couple work it out.

“Jared is Jeff’s only brother, he should be there.” To everybody’s surprise, it's Jensen I who steps up to line up with Jeff, who nods violently and pats Jensen’s back.

Jared, for his part, gives Jensen a confused look. _What does he even care?_ But Jensen, for the first time in the whole time he has been in Austin, is not looking at him at all.

“Jensen's right! Jared is my little brother, I want him there. You have your sister for your party, I should get my brother!” Adrianne rolls her eyes, and they have all seen them fake-fight over the years enough times to know is not a serious argument, but they are both going for the win anyway.

“What does it matter? Following that logic then you should invite your dad too, so you could have all the boys in the family there.” Danneel swoops in, too amused by the idea of making a stripper dance over Jared — as she already mentioned before — to let the boys take him away. “Jared is coming with us.”

“The relationship between brothers is different, it has a deeper meaning if Jared is there for Jeff’s bachelor party. Is almost tradition.” Jensen keeps going, just as invested as Jeff and Danneel in the debate, and Jared gives him another confused look that Jensen utterly ignores.

“Deeper meaning? You’re going to watch girls take their clothes off. Tradition my ass.” Genevieve adds from Danneel’s side. “You’re just acting like big protective fools who don’t want Jared to get dick-shaped-action tonight.”

Jared snaps his head to Genevieve as he slowly blushes bright red. There’s no need to get on with the details! And he’s not getting _any_ action in _any_ shape, thanks a lot. Jeff makes a face at the comment, looking grossed out at the idea of Jared having sex at all, while Jensen simply clenches his jaw and crosses his arms — the signs Jared always recognized when Jensen was pissed at something for real —  before finally giving Jared a quick look.

He almost jolts on his spot, suddenly nervous by Jensen’s accusatory eyes. _Jesus, what the fuck?_

“But you wanna get both Jared and Chad.” Jeff keeps arguing and Jensen slowly moves his eyes away from Jared, who is still holding his breath, feeling like a four year old who just got caught planning a prank. _He’s not even going to sleep with anyone that night!_ “If you get Jared, I want Chad!”

“I don’t even know any of you, dude.” Chad comments from the other side of the living room, where he went so sit down on one of the couches to enjoy the fight. “I mean yeah, I kinda know you and Ackles but who the fuck are the other two? Tough Cowboy and Armani Model?” he points at Chris and Tom and then throws his hands in the air “No idea. While I know most of the girls and I came with Jay. So, I don’t fucking think so, man.”

“But you get to see girls.” Jeff tries to sell it off, only making Chad laugh through his teeth.

“You know what’s the upside of being bi? I don’t give a shit who takes off their clothes, girl or guy, I enjoy it either way.” He winks at Jeff and gives him finger guns, propping his shoes over the coffee table. “So don’t sweat it.”

Jeff groans while Adrianne is looking more than pleased over all the guests choosing her party. Jensen  walks around both of them and directly towards Jared, who doesn’t realize that Jensen is coming to him until it’s too late to move away.

“What do you want to do?” Jensen asks, “Me and Jeff want you to come with us, Adrianne and the girls want you to go with them. But what do _you_ want, Jay?”

Jared blinks, not knowing what to answer. He didn’t know going with Jeff was an option, his brother didn’t say shit about it until five minutes ago, but that’s also so _Jeff_ of him that Jared is not exactly surprised. Adrianne is right about him enjoying the bachelorette party more, not only for the gender of the strippers, but because he’ll feel more comfortable around them.

On the other hand, Jeff is his brother and Jared feels he should kinda share that celebration with him.

Not to mention that Jensen directly asking him, even if he stated he prefers Jared going with them, is doing silly things in his stomach and making him want to smile at how Jensen hasn’t changed at all when it comes to Jared being in the middle of a problem. He always cared what Jared had to say no matter what, he still remembers that.

“Well, Adrianne asked me first, but Jeff is my brother. I love them both, I don’t—” He shrugs, unsure of what to do. Is not even fair to make him pick sides. And he can’t even use Chad to help him choose because he knows his best friend ultimately doesn’t care either way, he’ll follow along wherever Jared choses and get just as hammered regardless of which party is it.

“Why if they go to both?” Tom intercedes, making them all turn to look at him. Chad has a point, Tom kind of looks like a model. “Maybe they can stay half the night at Adrianne’s party and then go to Jeff’s. Her party starts first, right?”

That’s how the new plan appears and Jared — along with Chad, he’s dragging Chad with him _yes or yes_ — ends up subscribed for two parties on the same night. Adrianne’s party is first, and after midnight he’s supposed to head to Jeff’s party to spend the rest of the time with him and the guys. They struggle for a bit to set up the hour — the girls are not happy about the midnight Cinderella deal —  but they give up after realizing that the longer they stay there fighting, the more time they are losing for the bachelorette party.

Jared sneaks some looks at Jensen before they leave, and even if he isn’t that amused about the shared time deal, he still winks at Jared and gives him a little smile when he catches him staring, and Jared is caught so off guard that he can’t help flashing him a smile back before Chad and Danneel push him out of the door.

The girls reserved part of a bar for Adrianne’s party, so it ends being more private than Jared expected when they get there. That kind of explains how the stripper part works, he had been confused over how on earth where Danneel and Genevieve get away with guys undressing in front of Adrianne without getting thrown out of the place. They paid extra to get a pretty big room for the whole thing.

And they clearly paid a lot extra for the bar to have an entire stock of alcohol ready. Jared lets out an appreciative whistle when they walk in and he sees a table full of different bottles and cans, and he can probably only name half of them. Danneel wasn’t joking about the bet of who would get drunk first.

“Now this is a party!” Chad laughs as he walks in after Genevieve, making all the girls cheer and drag Adrianne to one of the couches in the middle of the room to make her drink the first shot. When Jared sits by her side, he notices the amount of tequila along with limes and salt carefully organized to one side. Something is telling him they plan the strippers to do more than take off their clothes.

Two hours in and is all it takes for Jared to feel a little tipsy while having the most fun he ever had at any party in his life. The girls picked the best combination of music and drinks for the night — adding the fact that Danneel went out for a moment and flirted with a bartender that was finishing her shift at the bar and now she’s in there with them, mixing drinks for their little private party — along with making Adrianne do all kind of embarrassing things, from trying on the lingerie they bought for her wedding night and dancing in it to telling them too many stories about her sex life with Jeff.

By the time she has to use a ruler to tell them the size of his brother’s dick when he’s hard, Jared has to cover his ears and close his eyes while singing along with the song playing in that moment, making Genevieve laugh until she falls from her seat.

He’ll have nightmares for _months_ if he finds out the measure of Jeff’s dick.

Not that the information he learned that night isn't enough to give him bad dreams already, since Adrianne told them one time she and Jeff snuck inside of a school at night to play naughty student and strict teacher, and how apparently Adrianne’s ass had red marks from Jeff spanking her with a ruler for a week. Jared is never going to be able to look at his brother in the face again.

They all exchange stories of the weirdest places they ever got laid at, and Chad wins by far when he tells them the Disney world story.

“Fucking telling you, it’s where all dreams come true _indeed_.” He snickers, making Adrianne choke on her margarita, half drunk and too amused by Chad’s dirty stories. For a moment Jared worried she’s not breathing for the way she’s laughing nonstop until her face turns red.

“Okay, okay! Enough of this!” Danneel calls out, looking at her phone. “Looks like the first stripper is here!” She singsongs, and all the girls start to catcall while Jared and Chad whistle. Adrianne groans between laughs, covering her face with two hands while they make her sit in the middle of the room.

The guy’s name is Matt, and he’s all smiles from the moment he walks in the room, losing no time before he starts to dance and undress, making everybody cheer and both Danneel and Adrianne make sure to “make it rain” when he takes off his pants right in front of them and lets Danneel smack his ass. He’s really funny and jokes half the time he’s stripping. When the time they paid for is over he stays another twenty minutes and lets Katie take body shots from his abs, licking the salt and tequila from his skin, to finally grab the lime from Matt’s mouth.

The second guy is called Tahmoh, and he flirts with all the girls and even lets Adrianne help him take off his shirt, and _boy_ , does that guy work out. He makes more of a show of undressing than actually dancing, but it still works perfectly. Jeff and Adrianne made a deal about no full frontal nudity for the strippers, so it’s been already discussed that the guys are not gonna take off their underwear. Even with that, the “show” is too entertaining itself, even if they don’t end up naked.

It’s half an hour later when the last stripper gets there, and Danneel has been whispering to Katie most of the night how he’s the best of them all, saw him at her cousin’s bachelorette party and wanted to spend the savings of all her life to have him dancing in her living room for life. Jared is too distracted checking his phone since Jeff has been nagging him to come to his party even if it’s not midnight yet — he has another hour to go, jesus — so he doesn’t notice the guy until a new song plays loudly, startling him and making Jared look up.

 _Jensen_ is the first thing that comes to his mind, making his heart speed up for a full minute. It’s not Jensen of course, but something in the guy’s features made Jared think it was him for a second, the perfect jawline mixed with his hair and dim lights playing tricks in his mind. No more alcohol for him that night, that’s for sure.

When the guy pretty muchs rips his thin white shirt and slowly turns around, letting them all see the lines of his abs and then the line of his spine and perfect ass, Jared starts to wish it was Jensen. Because _God fucking damn it_ , he would like that spectacle with Jensen in the middle, hips thrusting and hands sliding down his own body.

The guy is too fucking hot for words and even that is an understatement, both Katie and Genevieve have been pretty much howling since he started to dance, waving some bills in the air so he would move closer to them.

Danneel wasn’t wrong, and Jared understands what she meant about him being the best guy for the job as the strippers flashes Adrianne a smile and slowly crawls towards her, making his sister-in-law look at him with an open jaw. The guy looks like he’s having the time of life, laughing beautifully — even his laugh sounds attractive what in _hell_ — every time any of the girls whistles or catcalls him. When he gets to Adrianne’s side and she tries to slide some dollars in his pants he shakes his head and points to her lips, giving her another wink, so Adrianne has to bite on the bills and the guy gets close enough to take them with his own teeth. The girls go wild clapping and laughing after that.

Jared is so dumbstruck himself to even make a sound — even he can hear Chad laughing and clapping from the side of the room — , eyes following the guy's figure as he stands up and keeps dancing. Choosing Pony by Ginuwine seems like the most cliché song to strip to, like some wild attempt to give a Magic Mike vibe, but the guy is so fucking good at his job it makes it look like the entire movie was actually inspired on him alone.

To Jared’s further surprise, the guy suddenly catches a sight of him, staring as he walks towards the couch he’s on, following the beat of the song with every step. and Jared feels like he’s about to throw up his heart when the guy points directly at him and gives him a wink.

_If that was Jensen, Jared would have probably already come in his pants from that alone._

He has no idea why the stripper is coming for him, _this is not his party_ , he should stay over there shaking his perfectly sculpted body in front of Adrianne instead.

She doesn’t seem bothered by it though, and only gives him double thumbs up when he quickly looks for her input on all this, nodding her head vigorously. Jared is pretty sure she’s trying to mouth something, but his eyes snap back to the stripper when he stands right in front of him, hips moving in a way that Jared can’t help but stare at like it's the first time he sees a shirtless man in his life.

The dude dances in a way that makes Jared want to _touch_.

He looks for some of the singles Genevieve gave him before they got to the bar, taking a bunch of them from his pocket — he’s not even sure how much money he’s about to tip the guy, but he’s also too distracted to think coherently — extending his hand towards the elastic of the guy’s pants.

Jared figures that’s what the guy came for, since the rest of the party has been throwing dollars at him since he started to dance, but Jared has barely blinked the entire time. But just when he’s about to slide the bills into the stripper's waistband, the guy picks that exact second to tear his pants off as well, ripping them off just like he did with his shirt moments ago, and Jared is left with his extended hand barely two centimeters away from the guy’s barely clothed crotch.

He knows he’s staring, and he knows his mouth is embarrassingly _open_ at the view, but this guy is wearing the tightest black shorts Jared has ever seen in his life, which means the fabric clings to every inch of his skin, letting Jared pretty much guess everything that is under those tiny boxers.

When he looks up the guy is looking intently at him, and he flashes him a smile that reminds Jared of the smile Jensen gave him before they left the apartment. He blinks furiously, embarrassed and feeling like he’s about to die from it. God knows how long he has been staring. The stripper gives him another wink and nods before looking at Jared’s extended hand.

Jared goes for it then, hands trembling out of control as he slides the bills against the guy’s V line and leaving them hanging from the elastic of his shorts. The guy grabs his hand at the last second, bringing it up and kissing the back of it and then slowly letting go. He’s pretty sure all the girls are hollering from somewhere in the room and the music is still blasting but Jared can barely hear anything, looking up at the guy’s face.

For a crazy second he thinks it’s gonna be Jensen _again_ , but of course is not. That’s the worse of it. _Jared wanted it to be Jensen_.

It only takes a couple blinks for the guy to back away to keep dancing in the middle of the room, turning around and letting him see that he was right before the guy took of his pants, _he has a great ass_.

The stripper focuses on Adrianne for the rest of the song, and then for the next two as well, dancing close and around her, even teasing for a moment about taking off his underwear too. He doesn’t go to anyone else like he did with Jared and also doesn’t repeat it either, but he makes sure to still look at Jared from time to time and wink constantly at him.

Jared can barely breathe by the end of it, dizzy with such a goddamn sexy dude undressing right in front of his face and then kissing his hand, coupled with the desperate call in the middle of his chest for _Jensen, Jensen, Jensen_.

He kind of snaps out of it when he feels Chad coming to sit by his side, chanting _“way to go!”_ and pressing a cold beer to his hand. He sounds and looks even more drunk than Jared expected for the time, but the rest of them had been drinking a lot.

When the guy finishes his final dance, he leans close to Adrianne and presses a kiss to her cheek, whispering something in her ear and making her smile and thank him, so Jared supposes he’s congratulating her on her marriage. Katie and Genevieve offer the guy something to drink right away and he agrees, thanking them and saying he can stay a little bit longer.

Danneel offers him more tequila from across the room but Jared says he’s fine, talking with Alona for a while before she runs towards Chad when she sees he’s about to drink the last margarita the bartender mixed for them.

He checks his phone again, and finds two calls from Jeff and three form a number he doesn’t recognize. Jesus, Jeff can be so intense when he wants to, he’s probably thinking Jared is gonna bail to stay with Adrianne all night. Not that it's a bad idea, he’s having a lot of fun here with Chad and the girls, but he gets that his brother wants him to share that night with him as well.

“Is way too early to be checking your phone for the time.” He hears a voice in front of him, and when he looks up from the couch he sees the guy standing right there and flashing him a smile. He looks like he really enjoyed the show, as if they were paying him to have a blast undressing, and honestly, it looked like he did. “Seems to me that this party is just starting. And gorgeous guys like you deserve to have fun like this.”

He almost drops his phone at the compliment.

Is not that Jared doesn’t know how to deal with someone so openly hitting on him — he usually does — it's simply the fact that he's never had a guy in something he can only describe as _tight_ tiny booty shorts, with a tight gym-fit body, complete with perfect chest and arms — _Jesus, those arms_ — come to him and compliment his looks.

It’s like he entered some kind of strange parallel universe where a stripper likes him.

“I— I, well, thanks.” Jared stutters, looking down when the thought of how this guy vaguely reminds him of Jensen flashes in his mind again. Thinking of Jensen will only make things worse, _shouldn’t imagine Jensen doing what this guy just did even if he really really wants to_. “I really liked the uh you know, the _thing_ you did there—” Jared vaguely points to the middle of the room where the guy had been stripping some songs ago. “W-with the no pants and all that. You looked very—” he points to the guy’s chest now and even down at his tight black underwear where there’s nothing left to the imagination, _Christ_ , are those painted on his skin? Jared moves his eyes back up, blinking and flushing again “Very— _wow_. Yeah. You have a, uh, _talented_ body and, wow. Congrats on your stripping and your wow, yeah.”

The guy laughs and Jared feels like slapping himself. _Congrats on your wow?_ _Talented body?_ What the hell is wrong with him?

“Well, I bet you’re very wow yourself.” The guy says with another perfect smile, looking up at down at Jared, making him feel like he’s about to burst into flames. “Jared, right? I heard Danneel calling your name. I’m Justin.”

Jared nods and lets out a nervous laugh, not sure of what he’s even supposed to do now.

“Nice to meet you, Justin.” He murmurs, but at the way Justin keeps smiling at him, he guesses he heard him. Jared kind of wonders if he’s not cold like that, literally not wearing anything but underwear. “Thanks for— uh, thanks for you know. I’m sure Adrianne is enjoying the party a lot and you cheered everybody up.”

“Did I cheer _you_ up?” He asks with a little smirk, and when Jared only looks at him, nervous and embarrassed as hell, Justin only laughs. “Don’t worry, didn’t mean to put you on the spotlight, handsome. Just wanna make conversation with you.” He shrugs, and Jared is glad he didn’t expect a real answer to that. “So, you’re...friend of the bride? I’m guessing not the groom, or that would make my striptease ten kinds of _more_ inappropiate.” Justin jokes and that gets a laugh out of Jared.

“My brother is the groom. But Adrianne is also like a best friend.” Jared answers “That’s why I was checking my phone. I’m supposed to go to his bachelor party next.”

“ _My, my._ ” Justin whistles, looking up and down at Jared again. “Two big parties in one night. Aren’t you a busy boy, Jared.”

Katie picks that moment to call for Justin, who gives Jared one last long look — that makes the hairs on his neck stand up — and leaves before whispering _“Talk to you later”_ along with another commercial-like smile. Jared is not that sure there’s gonna be a later, he’s half an hour late to Jeff’s party already, so he should get going.

It turns out Adrianne’s sister is not feeling that well — apparently she drank too much and didn’t have lunch that day — so Chad is gonna take a cab with her and make sure she makes it home okay since Adrianne asked him to not let her go alone. After dropping her off, Chad’s gonna come meet Jared at Jeff's party.

Jared says his goodbyes to the girls and then hugs Adrianne, telling her to make sure that one of them stays sober enough to get the rest home and to call him if she needs something. She kisses his cheek and tells him she’ll make sure to ask Danneel for Justin’s number so Jared can have it. Jared only rolls his eyes and lets her have it, it’s her bachelorette party after all.

When Jared steps outside, it’s colder than he expected, and also kind of empty. Looks like everybody who couldn’t get into the public part of the bar decided to leave long ago, since there’s no line of people outside waiting to get in. He huffs and tucks his hands in the pockets of his jacket, starting to walk down the street, hoping he can get a cab soon.

He’s about one block away from the bar when he hears someone behind him.

“Jared?” Justin calls, and he turns around to find him fully dressed again, with a bag hanging on one of his shoulders. He guesses that’s where he got his change of clothes.

“Hey.” He breathes out, feeling rude considering he didn’t say goodbye to Justin, but he didn’t really see him after he left to talk to Katie. “Done for the night?”

“Not at all. I have another bachelorette party tonight.” He says with a smile, as if it’s the best news to have at almost one in the morning. “You’re going to you brother’s party?”

“Yeah, I’m hoping to get a cab.” But when he says that, Justin shakes his head.

“At this hour? Good luck man, you’re never gonna find one.” Not what Jared needs to hear, already late and feeling like an ass for not returning his brother’s calls even though he knows his brother's trying to figure out where he's at. “Where are you going?”

Jared fumbles looking for his phone and then searching for one of Jeff’s texts where he wrote down the address. Opposite from the girls and the bar, the boys got a suite at a hotel for the night — at least Jeff and Adrianne didn’t pay for that part, since it’s obvious they are spending a good amount of money on the wedding, and when he shows Justin the message, his face lights up.

“Hey! That’s where I have my next job.” He laughs, adjusting his bag over his shoulder.

“You have a striptease job at a hotel?” Jared says, a little amused, and Justin gives him smirk in return.

“You would be surprised to know the places people ask me to take my clothes off.”

He winks at Jared, who turns pink and doesn’t really says anything as he puts his phone back in his pocket. He’s really not used to the way Justin is hitting on him. He’s not even completely sure if it’s _actual_ hitting or if that’s Justin’s personality and Jared is reading too much into it.

“I could give you a ride. Have my car parked a block away.” He says, getting Jared’s attention again. It sounds like a great favor, but Jared looks uncertain for a moment, nibbling on his bottom lip and looking at Justin.

“Hey, honestly, just wanna give you a ride.” Justin says as he raises his hands. “I understand we don’t know each other, but I have known Danneel for a long time. I just think getting a cab is almost impossible at this hour. Believe me, that’s why I got the car in the first place, with my job and all. I can tell you it’s really hard to get anywhere in this city when it gets late, Jared.”

After considering it for a moment, Jared takes Justin’s offer and thanks him for the favor. He figures that walking around alone in the middle of the night is not a very smart idea anyway, and Danneel does seem to know Justin from before. On their ride to the hotel, Justin keep the conversation going and Jared tells him how he actually lives at New York and is staying in Austin for the wedding and that he’s an engineer, while he learns that Justin graduated as an architect but he paid most of it by stripping while he was in college, so sometimes when he needs extra money, he still goes for it.

They make it to the hotel faster than Jared expected and Justin parks a block away from the hotel, already knowing where to leave his car without it costing too much money. He clearly knows his way around the city even better than Jared, who was born and raised there.

“Thank you for bringing me here, honestly. I would probably still waiting be at the bar for a damn cab.” Jared smiles at Justin, feeling a little bit less nervous now that he has clothes on and Jared can’t see the outline of his dick.

“Hey, no problem. I had lots of fun with you and your friends, and it would have been rude to not offer you a ride after I literally took off my pants right in front of you.” Justin, on the other hand, doesn’t seem at all that bothered loudly talking about it as they cross the street and make it to the front of the hotel.

 Jared chokes out a laugh, too loud to not sound silly, but Justin doesn’t seem bothered about that.

“Well, I hope you have as much as fun with the next one.” Jared points to the hotel behind him with his thumb. “Hope they also make it rain as much as Gen and Alona did,” he jokes, pleased that Justin smiles and nods.

“Listen, I was actually thinking, I don’t know how long you’re gonna stay in Austin after the wedding is over, but maybe I could see you another time when I’m not undressing and dancing covered in glitter.” Justin starts and Jared swallows, suddenly feeling his mouth dry. Is he asking him out? So it was real flirting and not Justin teasing him because Jared was obviously shy after the striptease? Oh, God. “I don’t know, maybe we could have a coffee and go on a d—”

“Jared.”

It’s the third time Jensen does this shit to him in less than a week, sneaking up behind him like some kind of ninja because Jared literally never sees it coming until Jensen is right there almost breathing against his neck and practically sending him to the ER for heart failure.

And just as with the two other times, Jared jerks and turns around, seeing Jensen walking the last steps in between them, standing right by his side with an annoyed look on his face.

“H-Hey Jensen.” He stutters, confused to suddenly see him there. It’s almost like Jensen has some tracking device he glued to Jared’s shoes because lately he _always_ knows where to find him. “Sorry I took so long, I hope Jeff isn’t mad.”

Jensen shakes his head, eyes on Justin even if Jared is the one talking to him. “Who is this?” He asks after a second, and Jared blinks, looking from Jensen to Justin a couple times, confused by Jensen’s attitude. He’s usually so damn polite.

“Oh, sorry. This is Justin, he gave me a ride from Adrianne’s party.” Jared introduces him, making sure to leave out the teeny tiny detail of Justin’s side profession. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but something in Jared’s gut tells him it's better to gloss over that part.

“Hey.” Justin nods at Jensen, cheerful voice completely gone now, and Jared thinks it’s the first time he has seen Justin stop smiling since he first saw him.

“Right.” Is all Jensen answers, tone completely bored, making Jared give him a surprised look. _What the fuck?_ He looks so uninterested in Justin, as if he wasn’t the one asking who he was in the first place. Then he turns back to look to Jared. “Adrianne called to let us now you were on your way, so I came out to wait for you.” Jensen explains, and Jared feels both a little flattered for Jensen’s concern and kinda offended too because come on, he’s not five. “Is he a friend of Adrianne’s or something?”

So, they're back to Justin. Jensen keeps talking about him as if he isn’t there and it's a dull topic all together. He even points at Justin with his head in a rather dismissive way, eyes focused on Jared.

But Justin answers before Jared can say anything.

“I was one of the strippers, actually.” He says with a proud voice, giving Jensen a fake smile. “It was quite a party, huh Jared?” Justin winks at him, openly and unabashed, the same flirting tone he used before and none of the snark he had for Jensen.

Jared opens and closes his mouth without a single sound coming out. What is he even supposed to say?

Jensen eyes move to give Justin an unpleasant stare, and Jared can even say he looks angry. Honest to God, five-seconds-from-punching-someone, angry. For a moment he thinks he sees Jensen crack his knuckles, but maybe he’s imagining things. He's had a lot to drink so far.

“I think we should go inside.” Jensen decides, after a long and uncomfortable staring contest between him and Justin, and he places his arm around Jared’s shoulders when he says it. Jared’s eyes widen and he doesn’t dare to look at anyone, too surprised by the sudden move and with too many thoughts blasting in his head to make much sense of anything at all.

“Hey, Jared, about that invitation—”  Justin starts again, as if he didn’t hear Jensen’s announcement of them leaving, but Jensen doesn’t have a problem cutting him off mid-sentence again.

“I don’t think he has time for that, just my opinion.”

Jared can’t believe this is fucking happening to him.

Jensen’s arm is around him and holding him close and he’s, on top of that, openly declining an invitation for a date _for Jared_. There is a part of him that wants to throw a fit right then, where is this macho Alpha-posturing bullshit coming from? Jensen can’t decide who he dates! But there’s also the other part, too shocked over Jensen throwing this entire scene because someone is asking him out.

Almost feels like a territorial fight and Jensen is five seconds from claiming Jared right then in front of Justin if he has to, which shouldn’t sound as hot as it does in his head.

No fucking way Jensen is being possessive. Even less jealous.

 _Jealous of what, holy shit!_ Jared was in love with Jensen most of his life anyway, there’s no comparison to begin with. Not to mention Jensen has no reason to feel that way, since he doesn’t care for Jared in that sense.

For a moment Jared even wonders if maybe he drank so much he passed out and he’s currently sleeping on one of the couches at the bar.

It just doesn’t make any sense.

“Well, I was actually asking Jared. Don’t really care for your input.” Justin says, tone so rude it makes Jared feel the way Jensen’s body tenses up thanks to how close they're standing.

Nothing happens for the next minute apart from Jensen and Justin looking at each other like they're about to break each other’s necks. Jared doesn’t dare to say a word for most of it, still utterly confused about what is currently happening  and also worried that anything he says will make it worse. He and Jensen have to go inside and Justin has to go work anyway, why are they standing in the middle of the cold ass street again?

“Uh, guys?” He whispers, nudging Jensen with his elbow. He finally looks away from Justin only to press Jared tightly against his side and, yeah, he’s definitely passed out on a couch. This can’t be happening for real.

“Whatever.” Justin hisses at Jensen before turning to face him again. “Danneel has my number, Jared, so let me know what you think about that coffee, okay?” He puts his hand close to his face, thumb and pinkie extended to make the sign of a phone. “See you soon.” He adds with a last wink, already implying they are gonna meet for that date, making Jensen let out an offended huff by his side.

Jared waits until Justin goes inside the hotel to turn around and face Jensen.

“What the _hell_ was that?”

He needs to understand because if Jensen keeps doing and saying things that make absolutely no sense Jared is going to lose his goddamn mind. He doesn’t remember ever seeing Jensen be that rude to anyone, that’s simply not him.

“I could ask you the same thing. Since when do you take rides from asshole strangers?” Jensen points towards the hotel, still looking pissed and beyond stressed. He’s frowning and giving Jared an incredulous look, as if he would expect better for him, and Jared doesn’t appreciate to be scolded like a kid over something that is not even true.

“Justin is not an asshole!” Jared argues right away. “He was nice enough to offer me a ride. And— he’s technically _not_ a stranger.” Danneel knows him, okay? And it doesn’t matter Jared was uncertain to take the offer for the ride before, he’s not letting Jensen find out that part now. “What do you care anyway?”

“ _What do I care?_ Well, I don’t know, maybe I’m worried about your safety.”

Jared snorts, knowing that acting that way will only serve to anger Jensen even more.

“That’s why you suddenly reject dates for me? I already have one overprotective big brother to do that, Jensen, don’t really you doing it too.” He crosses his arms, trying to seem as serious as possible. He can’t believe that after all this time Jensen still sees him as a goddamn little brother who should stay innocent and pure. It pisses Jared off even more now than it did back then.

Jared doesn’t want Jensen to see him as something he can’t approach in that sense.

“He’s a tool, you can’t be thinking about going on a date with _him_.”

Funny thing is, Jared isn’t, he’s not staying in Austin anyway so he wouldn’t take a date. He has to fly back to New York when this is all over, but he wanted the opportunity to reject Justin himself.

But _no, no,_ overprotective Jensen had to jump in to make clear once again that he’s only capable of seeing Jared as a kid who needs to be defended.

“Why not? He’s funny, he’s hot and apparently he likes me.” Jared lifts is chin proudly, and when Jensen squints at him, Jared keeps going, just to be an ass and keep poking Jensen’s limits. “You know what? I could even ask him to be my date on the wedding.”

Jensen steps forward until he’s as close as he was when they were talking before the wedding rehearsal, making Jared’s determination wobble for a good second.

“Do you like pissing me off on purpose now? I remember you being a lot more sweet when you were seventeen.” Jensen whispers, and Jared pushes down all the mixture of feelings that try to come flying out at that. _Not now_.

“How is me dating Justin something that pisses you off at all?” He shoots back, trying to keep his eyes on Jensen’s eyes and not wander around his face. He could only get more handsome with the years, the bastard, it still awes Jared how much he attracts him. He could stare at Jensen’s face forever, it’s simply perfect.

“He doesn’t look like the right guy.”

 _Oh please_. Jared snorts for a second time, adding an eyeroll now. It’s not like they are gonna get married if Jared accepts to go for a coffee with Justin. Jensen is being ridiculous.

“Believe it or not, I know what I want,” Jared says proudly “I knew what I wanted when I was seventeen and I still do now.”

Jensen arches an eyebrow, looking more cocky now.

“So we’re back to that night? I thought we were done talking about it.” He even gives Jared a full-of-himself smirk that almost makes him lean forward and take that stupid grin out of his face.

“W-We are! And that’s not the point, _God—_ why are you being so— like _this_ all the time?” Jared points to the little space in between them, ignoring the urgent need to kiss Jensen. Goddamn it, Chad was right.

Jared does want to have angry sex with Jensen.

“Because you keep pushing me away when I’m trying to talk to you and then you go and get dates with some idiot like Justin!” Jensen says with a louder tone of voice, looking as annoyed with their fight as Jared feels.

“Those two things are not related at all!” Jared almost yells back.

“Yes they are, but you’re being too stubborn to even see it!”

Jared grabs Jensen by his shirt, pulling him close until he can press their mouths together, pissed off and confused and beyond willing to fuck it out if that’s what they need to do, because all the fighting is getting ridiculous. For a moment he thinks Jensen is gonna push him away, but Jensen is _game_ , hands coming up to cup Jared’s face and kiss him back. It’s not like the first time they kissed, this time Jared is not trying to impress Jensen or even make it last. This time he wants to bite and push and _win_ , find a way to settle with actions what they couldn't with words.

Jensen must be thinking the same by the way one of his hands slides up Jared's face and then grabs a handful of his hair, pulling it lightly and making Jared groan into the kiss, biting Jensen’s lower lip right away. The angry make out session probably lasts less time than Jared thinks, and it’s his phone ringing that makes him pull away and break the kiss, looking down to find Jeff’s name on the screen.

He passes a hand over his lips and then looks at Jensen, who’s taking deep breaths and looking intently at him.

“I’m not stubborn.” Jared says before he turns around, walking toward the hotel and hearing Jensen following behind him. He swears he hears Jensen mutter _“Yes you fucking are”_ and Jared almost turns around to start round two, but he keeps it together until they make it to the suite.

The room is even bigger than Jared expected, and there are a lot more people too. He can see Chris and Tom along with other guys Jared barely remembers, and then there are bunch of people he has never seen in his life. He figures they must be Jeff's friends from work.

Jared goes to say hello to Jeff, who looks like he has been drinking a lot but is just as happy to see him as ever, hugging him close and pressing a beer imto Jared’s hand. It looks like the all the stripping already happened on this side, which Jared prefers, so after talking to his brother for a while he goes to sit alone at the back of the room. He doesn’t feel like socializing with anyone and right now he wishes he could be alone and a little more sober — even if he’s not even near to be drunk — so he could think about all that just happened.

 _He kissed Jensen again_. And just as it happened years ago, Jensen kissed him back.

Jensen also rejected a date for him and said that Jared not talking with him and flirting with Justin — that excuse him, he wasn’t anyway — were related. He doesn’t know what to do with all that information, can’t find where he’s supposed to start.

Across the room, he can see Jensen sitting by Jeff’s side, drinking something and flashing looks at Jared every now and then. Jared dares to look him back some of those times, but they don’t do anything more than stare at each other when it happens.

Chad gets there almost an hour after that, sitting by Jared’s side and snagging his beer to take a long drink. “Dude, you look like you’re thinking so hard you’re gonna light your head on fire.” He jokes, patting Jared’s back “Does that has something to do with Ackles giving you serial killer eyes?”

Jared tries to tell Chad what happened without talking to loud, he doesn’t want any of Jeff’s friends to find out about this, but with all the loud talking and the loud music he can barely tell Chad the most important bits about it. Justin drove him there, asked him out, Jensen appeared to stop it all and they kissed.

When Chad asks him why he didn’t keep kissing Jensen, he realizes that he has no idea. He could have keep making out with Jensen after the call, and something tells him Jensen would have been okay with that. Chad thinks that maybe Jensen also wants to close a chapter with Jared by sleeping together too, he’s giving all the vibes to suggest it. Jared isn't sure what to think, so he keeps drinking and lets Chad talk about anything he wants so he doesn’t have to think about Jensen anymore.

At some point of the party, Jared feels too tired and gives up, not caring how lame it is that he’s about to fall asleep because he’s sleepy and not because of how much he drank. Chad ruffles his hair and moves from the couch so Jared can lay down, and regardless of how loud the music is and how many conversations he hears around him, Jared falls asleep in less than ten minutes.

When he kind of wakes up hours later to shift on the couch and find a better position sfor his aching neck, he has a jacket over him, working as a blanket. He’s too dazed to even question where it came from, is not even sure if whether or not it's his own jacket, so he only curls around it, falling asleep again. He has the impression of being carried after that, but he doesn’t bother waking up, he’s probably dreaming it or the alcohol finally hitting him in his sleep.

Jared wakes up one last time at almost six in the morning, and to his surprise, he’s in his own bed. He looks around and it’s still dark outside, he can barely see anything beyond Chad’s back on the other bed. He turns around, only to notice he still has a jacket on him under the blankets.

When he looks down and buries his face in it, he recognizes the smell right away. It's Jensen's.


	4. Chapter 4

It’s almost one in the afternoon when Jared blinks awake again, mouth dry and feeling like someone stomped all over his back and neck the night before. That’s what he gets for falling asleep on a damn couch. He turns on his bed, pulling Jensen’s leather jacket up until half his face is covered with it, nose buried against the fabric. He can smell Jensen as if he had been sleeping with him on that bed all night, and it’s the same cologne Jensen used back when Jared was still in high school, the smell still making Jared’s stomach warm and a sensation of safety appear around him.   
  
_He and Jensen kissed last night._  
  
The memory flashes in his head and it has Jared completely covering his face now, one hand coming up to trail his own lower lip. He’s not sure if he will be able to get to sleep with Jensen, even if now Jared kind of has a lead that Jensen is somehow into him and it could eventually happen.   
  
He doesn’t know if that will ultimately solve the problem, not now that he sees how every time he runs into Jensen they end fighting somehow. Jared expected Jensen to not even care about what happened years ago, and the goodbye sex to only help Jared to completely get over him. He never expected Jensen to care at all, to want to talk about it.  _To kiss him back like he did last night_.   
  
Jared groans, moving the jacket off of his face and stumbling out of bed. He’s still wearing what he had on last night, so he changes into a pair of sweatpants and an old Batman shirt that he finds in his closet. The shirt is kind of tight across his chest, but he's too tired to be bothered with trying to find something else. When he walks past Chad — who will probably sleep all the way until night, Jared knows how he is after parties — to go the bathroom and brush his teeth, he notices that his friend actually has some hickeys on his neck. Jared snorts, not sure at which of the two parties he got them, but he’s pretty sure he didn’t see that when he arrived to Jeff’s party, so it probably happened after Jared fell asleep.   
  
He doesn’t bother taking a shower just yet, his stomach is growling for something to eat and making Jared drag himself all the way downstairs in search of food. His house appears empty apart from Chad sleeping in his room. He finds a note from his mom in the kitchen detailing something they had to go do for the wedding at the last minute and Megan is out with his boyfriend  _again_ , but  Jared figures it makes sense since they're still in that first-few-week-glow stage of their relationship where everything is nice and they want to spend all their time together.   
  
Cooking himself a good breakfast is an option, but there’s also perfectly good milk and enough cereal left to trick his stomach until he finds some real food later in the day. He doesn’t feel like he has enough energy to try to play Martha Stewart, the dizziness from last night still lingering and luring Jared into going back to bed or taking another nap in the livingroom when he’s done with his sugar-only breakfast.   
  
Jared is sitting on the couch starting on his second bowl of Froot Loops when he hears the front door open.   
  
“So is your boyfriend going to the wedding tomorrow?” Jared calls out for Megan, mouth half full. “I wanna meet him so I can tease you all day by telling him embarrassing stories about you.”  
  
“Well, that would be kind of difficult considering that I don’t have a boyfriend,” Jensen says, stepping into the living room, making Jared let some of the milk he already had in his mouth drool down his chin at the surprise. He coughs and cleans his face with his hand, looking at Jensen, confused. Since when does have keys to his house? “And you don’t have any embarrassing stories about me anyway.”  
  
He smiles at Jared, leaving a box on the coffee table, and Jared keeps chewing in silence, not sure why Jensen is there.  
  
“You have keys?” He asks out of the blue, giving Jensen a confused stare that only makes Jensen laugh. Jared can only curse him in his head for being able to act so casual after they had a fight, made out and then stared at each other angrily the past night.   
  
“Jeff gave me his copy, Adrianne needed me to drop off her heels for tomorrow and they're both too hungover to get out of bed.” Jensen explains, sitting on one of the other sofas, giving Jared his space. He both appreciates it and wonders why he didn’t sit down with Jared.  
  
_Jesus Christ, he’s turning into his younger self all over again._  
  
“Tell me about it, I think Chad isn't gonna move until tomorrow morning.” Jared jokes, making Jensen smile at him again. He keeps eating in silence, not sure of where to go from there. Are they pretending that the kissing and fighting didn’t happen?  _That Jensen didn’t reject Justin in Jared’s name just because he felt like it?_  
  
It’s not until Jared is completely done eating his cereal — and during that time Jensen just sits there, checking his phone and then looking back at Jared, which means he is waiting for something, he could leave if he wanted to — that he speaks again. “Thanks— for the jacket.”  
  
Jensen shakes his head, like it’s not a big deal at all. “You looked like you were freezing last night sleeping on that touch. Which was also kind of cute, all these guys drinking and talking about the strippers and you were there already sleeping.” He gives him a fond look and Jared laughs nervously. “Also it’s way more complicated to carry you now, but that makes sense considering the last time I did that you were probably seven.”  
  
Jared’s eyes widen as he looks back at Jensen. So that did happen? For a moment he hoped someone made him walk all the way to his room and he was too tired to remember or maybe Jeff did it for him. Or even Chad, why not Chad?  
  
“T-Thanks for that too, you really didn’t have to.” Jared mumbles, playing with the spoon in his bowl, moving the last forgotten candy loops around. He hopes he’s not blushing, but the way he feels his own heartbeat in his ears probably say the opposite. And from all that, he can’t shake off the fact that Jensen can carry him. Full on lift him up.  _Maybe even put him against a wall_.   
  
“You looked so tired, didn’t seem fair to wake you up.” Jensen shrugs, and Jared smiles before he can stop himself. “Luckily Chad was still kind of with it enough to walk on his own. Can’t say the same about your brother though.”  
  
Jared laughs out loud, remembering how many times he had to help Jensen sneak Jeff into the house when his parents were asleep and his brother had drank a little too much.   
  
“I do have embarrassing stories about you.” Jared remembers then, and Jensen gives him an interested look.   
  
“You've got  _nothing_.”  
  
“What about the time Jeff hid your clothes after a football game and you had to walk around the school with a towel looking for them?” Jared smirks, and Jensen groans, throwing the throw pillow from the couch full-force in the face, but Jared doesn’t even care. He's too busy laughing at the memory.  
  
“Your brother is an asshole, I don’t even know why I’m his best man.” Jensen rolls his eyes and then throws another pillow at him. “Stop laughing!”  
  
“Captain Ackles parading around school in a little towel looking for his clothes.” Jared snickers, and throws the pillow back at Jensen. “People were still talking about it when I graduated, okay?”  
  
Jensen makes another frustrated sound, covering his face with both hands and making Jared break out in louder laughter. It almost feels familiar for a split second, like time hasn’t happened and Jensen is at the house after spending the night out at a party with Jeff. This is how they used to joke and talk to each other, always comfortable like this, and it's not until now that Jared realizes how much he missed it.   
  
He gets up to walk to the kitchen and wash his empty bowl but Jensen stands up and follows him.   
  
“Listen, I was thinking that everybody is too hungover to do anything today, so maybe we could have lunch together.” Jared stops at that, turning to look at Jensen with an expression way too surprised to hide, caught out off guard. It must be painfully obvious, because Jensen raises his hands and gives him a small smile. “Just lunch, I swear. No fighting, no yelling, nothing. We don’t even have to talk at all if you don’t want, we’ll just eat in complete silence.”  
  
Jared looks down, considering if he should take the offer. It seems to be that there’s nothing much to do today, Jeff and Adrianne left the day empty so they could all get a good night's sleep after the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Not to mention he really fucking wants to say yes. It’s not a date, doesn’t sound like one, but a part of his brain keeps screaming  _Jensen is asking him out_.  
  
“Nobody will be up for the next few hours, and we could both use the food.” Jensen keeps talking, and Jared almost can’t believe he’s making Jensen  _convince him_  to go out together. “I have Adrianne’s car, and we can get anything you want to eat.” He finishes with a hopeful look, and Jared gives up, legs weak and dumb smile flashing on his face.   
  
He takes a shower in record time, and there’s no way he can check with Sandy what he’s wearing for this one, so he hopes he doesn’t pick something horrible. His hair is still dripping when he steps into the room again, and he towel dries it as he pulls on clothes from his bag. Chad's still virtually comatose on one of the beds, and Jared grins thinking about how horrible he's going to feel when he returns to the land of the living. He considers taking down Jensen’s jacket with him so he can give it back, but he changes his mind at the last second.   
  
Jared really liked sleeping covered with it. Might as well keep it for another night.   
  
They end up going to the restaurant where Jared’s parents took him to celebrate his graduation, the place where he can get the best cheeseburger in town, which is funny because it’s the kind of restaurant where you would be expected to eat said cheeseburger with a fork and a knife along with a napkin on your lap. Jeff always said only Jared would be a sucker for junk food in a restaurant where even water is overpriced, which is why Jared only went there on special occasions when he was still living in Austin. About once a year for his birthday.   
  
“Woah, woah. When I said I wanted a burger I meant Smash Burger or something, not here.” Jared protests right away when Jensen parks Adrianne’s car in front of the restaurant, even if they spent most of the ride in silence. “Jensen!” He protests, trying to catch him by his wrist as Jensen smiles and gets out of the car, making Jared almost trip on his way out, walking around it to get to him. “Look, this is expensive, let’s get in the car again—”  
  
“I wanted to take you.” Jensen turns around, crossing his arms. Jared crosses his own back right away. Two can play this game.   
  
“It doesn’t have to be here.” He insists, but Jensen rolls his eyes and puts a hand on his shoulders, turning Jared and steering him in the direction of the entrance. “Stop that! Come on, let’s go, even I remember you complaining over how ridiculous the prices of the food in this restaurant are.”  
  
“And I remember you love it,” Jensen moves behind him, so he can now full on push Jared so he keeps walking and doesn’t stay standing in the middle of the parking lot like a stubborn child. “Plus, I believe I owe you about six birthday presents. And here we are.”  
  
“Well, I owe you presents too and I’m not taking you anywhere.” Jared struggles to get Jensen to stop making him walk, but he freezes when he hears Jensen’s voice right in his ear.   
  
“Then you can make me one of those sweet cards you used to draw me when you were a kid, remember?” Jensen whispers, and Jared closes his eyes, knowing exactly what Jensen means. “You used to draw little hearts all over them. Best presents ever.”  
  
That pretty much shuts Jared up for the next few minutes, and he spends the entire wait for a table with his face burning bright red.  _Stupid fucking cards_. He was a kid who didn’t realize he had a crush and was too naive to see how giving that to Jensen was embarrassing and unsubtle as hell.   
  
“I still have them.” Jensen says after a waitress takes their order. To Jared’s surprise, Jensen orders a burger too. “The cards, I mean. All the ones you made for me before you became a teenager and decided they were  _lame_. I still have them.”  
  
Jared squints at Jensen. “No you don’t.”  
  
“Yes I do,” Jensen insists. “Why wouldn’t I keep them? They're cute, and they were from you.”  
  
Jared’s heart makes the most ridiculous movement in his chest, beating out of control, as if it wants to break out of his chest and go hug Jensen itself. That’s the most ridiculously cheesy thing anyone ever told him. Ever. And Jared loves it. He remembers spending entire days coloring and writing the stupid birthday cards for Jensen, too innocent at the time to realize Jensen couldn’t do much with them apart from reading them once. Jeff even used to make fun of it considering it was around the time he was in his dick big brother phase, but Jensen always seemed so truthfully happy when Jared would give them to him.  
  
As Jared grew up, he thought Jensen was simply being polite. And now it turns out he did actually like them and kept them.   
  
Years of being away from Jensen and trying to avoid any contact made Jared forget that how sweet Jensen always was with him was one of the reasons why he fell in love.   
  
“I still have the compass.” Jared blurts out, too into the moment to stop himself. Jensen’s expression is priceless, like he can’t believe that’s the truth. Jared feels bad for a moment, almost hurt that Jensen is so surprised he didn’t throw it away. “I even brought it with me, I like having it around.”  
  
Jensen smiles big and happy like a kid in the middle of a candy store. Jared also misses that smile, and really hates how he’s starting to notice all the little details he always liked about him.   
  
“You did?” Jensen whispers and Jared nods in response. “I thought that after—  _you know_ , that you wouldn’t want it anymore and—”   
  
“I would throw it away?” Jared finishes for him, shaking his head and looking down. “Look, I’m not gonna lie. I was pretty mad and hurt, but I would never do that.” He brushes his bangs out of his face, staring at Jensen so he believes this part no matter what. “I love it. It’s my favorite present— of all time, probably. I took it with me to college, I took it with me when I got my apartment and I took it here with me. It keeps me grounded.” Jared shrugs, now feeling like he’s the cheesy fool. “Like it says, it feels like it helps me feel more confident about the decisions I make.”  
  
He doesn’t remember the last time he saw Jensen this happy, openly smiling at him and almost beaming in his seat. It's so damn cute it makes Jared melt inside. He gives him a smile in return and the feeling of familiarity and comfort hits Jared again, too distracted by the moment to even worry that he’s not supposed to be feeling anything around Jensen.   
  
Their food gets there a moment later, and Jared lets out an unashamed moan when he takes the first bite of his burger, some people even turn around to stare at him. Jensen laughs loudly and asks him if he needs to get a room with that piece of meat and Jared ignores his teasing, eating some fries and taking another bite.  
  
“Oh, I would show this cheeseburger a good time.” Jared jokes, licking some mustard from the corner of his mouth. “I would make sure this burger never think about getting eaten by anyone else ever again.”   
  
He chugs down about a quarter of his Coke and keeps eating, too pleased about junk food, but Jensen doesn’t look bothered by it at all. He only smiles, starting to eat his own food.   
  
“Funny,” Jensen says, after a second. “Never thought I would want to be a burger.”  
  
Jared chokes on the fries on his mouth, giving Jensen a deadly stare when Jensen loses his shit at that.  _What a fucking dickwad._  
  
The worst part is that Jared doesn’t know if Jensen meant it for real, or he just said it to mess with him.  
  
After that, they fall into their old joking and teasing behavior, with Jensen stealing fries from Jared’s plate and Jared kicking Jensen under the table when he’s drinking his Sprite. They laugh and exchange stories about work, with Jensen’s annoying patients calling him at four in the morning over nothing and Jared’s nightmare of a boss in the first job he had. He has about a million college stories to tell Jensen, from embarrassing mistakes in freshman year embarrassing, to the finals week he blacked out from the amount of energy drinks and coffee he drank. Jensen doesn’t know who Milo and Sandy are, so Jared has to tell lots of stories about them, including how Sandy thinks he’s hot because she Facebook stalked him for a picture with Chad’s help.   
  
Jared is probably eating like a pig, fingers greasy and covered in mustard after he's finished his burger, laughing in a way that's too loud and people find annoying sometimes, but all Jensen does the entire time is laugh with him and smile back, looking like he’s having as much fun as Jared is.  
  
Hanging out with Jensen always felt like this. Even if Jared had always been shy and insecure around him, Jensen always had that something that also made him feel completely okay. No matter what he did, Jensen would not judge him and always let him be.   
  
“I swear I barely remember taking that test,” Jared says as he eats his last fry, dipping it in ketchup and gulping it down with a satisfied sigh. “I mixed like, the biggest cup of Starbucks coffee on three different energy drinks. I thought I was gonna die.”  
  
“Mister Padalecki,” Jensen says with a fake-scandalized voice. “As your doctor, I have to tell you how unhealthy it is to do that to your system!”  
  
“Oh now you’re  _my_ doctor?” Jared repeats, arching an eyebrow.   
  
“At least tell me you went straight to bed the day you pulled that nonsense.” Jensen points at him with a fry, and Jared is proud to puff out his chest and shake his head.  
  
“I went to a party with Chad that night. And had lots of drinks.” He announces as if being an irresponsible twenty-year-old one time in college is the best achievement of his life.   
  
Jensen hides his face in his hands, expression too disappointed to be real.  
  
“Unbelievable. If I had learned that before I would have taken a plane to New York just to belt your ass for it.” He swears with another head shake but Jared is too distracted by the idea of Jensen  _spanking him_  to come up with a comeback. He wouldn’t mind at all.  _Jared would even misbehave on purpose all over again to make that happen._  
  
He blinks at that thought, looking down at his plate instead. The idea is not to go back to his full-on thirsting for Jensen, come  _on_.   
  
“It was just one time. And you knew how I was during high school.” Jared keeps talking after a really long pause. “I was a good kid, no need to worry.”  
  
“Oh I know you were.” Jensen smiles “And a funny kid, and smart kid too. That’s why I always liked hanging out with you. Even since we were all little.” He drains the last of his Sprite, and then adds. “Still do.”  
  
They look at each other in silence for a moment, and for the first time since the whole thing started, Jared doesn’t feel nervous or insecure with it. It’s different, there’s no tension in between them, he doesn’t feel the utter need to run and hide.   
  
“For the record, and I have to tell you this.” Jensen starts again, and his smile disappears from his face. “I never meant to hurt you, Jared.”  
  
He blinks, confused by what Jensen means by  _hurting_ , until it clicks. That night.   
  
“And I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or make you feel like you have to listen to me, but can I?” Jensen asks with pleading eyes. “Can I just— say what I need you to  _please_ hear?”  
  
Jared nods slowly, taking a deep breath and waiting for it. He would normally refuse, under any circumstance, to ever speak with Jensen about that night, but he looks miserable now, the happiness from minutes ago gone from his face, his expression making a hole open up in the middle of Jared’s chest.   
  
“I never, ever, meant to hurt your feelings, Jared. Hurt you in any way. I can’t describe how important you have always been to me, you’re like a little brother but you’re more than that at the same time.” Jared bites his tongue, hard until it  _hurts_ , the words  _more than that_ echoing in his head. “That night? I wanted to keep going, I didn’t want to stop at all. I wanted it, Jared.” Jensen says, face serious as Jared’s heart starts another speed run in his rib cage. “But— and I need you to listen, please, I thought I was honestly taking advantage of the situation.”   
  
Not for the first time, Jared is ready to open his mouth and argue against that. How on earth could h  be taking advantage? Jared threw himself at Jensen and was fucking clinging to him, for God’s sake!  
  
“I know you don’t think that! But please let me finish,” Jensen adds. “We were talking about you, and Stephen, and how you wanted— well, you know what we were talking about. And suddenly you said you wanted it with me, that you wanted me, and I thought  _holy shit. I’m game_.” Jared can’t believe he’s getting this explanation, that he gets to see it from Jensen’s point of view. “I mean, my smart, funny, hot friend says he wants to sleep with me? Talk about wet dream coming to life.”   
  
Jared wants to stop and keep talking about Jensen on that part. Like, he wants a detailed explanation of that last thing Jensen said, preferably with graphics. Just an expression? Actual thing that happened? Jared in Jensen’s dreams. Since when? How often?  _With how many clothes on?_  
  
“But then I realized that you were seventeen, and yes, I said it was a good age but— I’m five years older than you, at that moment it was five and some months since you hadn't had your birthday yet, I watched you grow up, you’re my best friend’s little brother who I learned to protect and take care of as if you were my own brother.” Jensen sighs, running a hand through his hair and looking stressed putting it all out there. “You said you wanted me but— I thought it was only that. I thought you were only interested on sleeping with me, that’s why I stopped it.”  
  
Jared stares at Jensen with million of questions rolling around at high speed in his head, but it doesn’t look like Jensen's done talking yet.   
  
“And I couldn’t keep going because I thought it was more of heat of the moment kind of thing. You said you wanted me and I thought you felt that way for—  I don’t know, one or two months, that it was a new thing.” Jensen shakes his head, and Jared feels like arguing it wasn’t new at all. But he'll just let Jensen finish. “And I know you. I knew you wanted something more than heat of the moment for your first time, and I thought that was what was happening with us that night. I felt like I had to stop it because I was taking advantage of that heat of the moment, that you would regret it, and I was my responsibility to not let that happen.”  
  
Jared stays silent, and he knows bringing this up so plainly could end with him crying, but now it’s too late to back away.   
  
“If I knew it was more than that— Jay, if I knew you had feelings for me I would have never done that the way I did. I swear.” Jensen looks desperate in that moment, like he just wants him to understand how important is for Jared to see that. “I never wanted want to hurt you. I’m sorry.”  
  
He does want to cry now. For many reasons. Good reasons and bad ones too. He feels too much, remembering it himself and seeing it how Jensen did. It brings back memories and feelings Jared hasn’t dared to touch in all this time, and they feel as strong as they did when it all happened.   
  
Jared isn't sure how to cope with it.  
  
“I— I get that.” He stutters, nodding. There are many things he disagrees with about that night, he’s still hurt and the memories seem like a nightmare to him. But there’s one thing he knows for sure. “I get you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose, Jensen. That’s not you, I know that now.”  
  
He hurt Jared. But it wasn’t intentional. It doesn’t take the pain away, but it makes it a different kind of pain. More bearable.  
  
“It wasn’t new.” Jared keeps going, feeling like he has to let it out too. “Not at all, I liked you since— well, probably since Jeff made you his best friend and I got used to seeing you around all the time.” Jared laughs a hurt laugh, feeling nostalgic. “And then as I grew up it became love. You were my big brother’s perfect best friend.” He looks at Jensen, and Jared can’t read the expression he has, but it looks kind nostalgic too. “I was in love with you. All I wanted was for you to notice me, for you to pay attention to me, to hang out with me.” Jared smiles sadly and shakes his head, and Jensen hands twitches on the table, like he wants to reach over. “And that night, when you kissed me— it felt like I was in heaven. I could only dream of you doing that back then.”  
  
“And then I stopped it all, told you all that about you being confused and belittled your feelings—” Jensen closes his eyes, rubbing his forehead. “God, no wonder you wanted to get away from me so fucking bad.”  
  
“You didn’t know I loved you.” Jared shrugs, finally being clear on that. “All these years I thought I made it clear, that during that night I made clear that I wanted you because I loved you. I guess I was wrong on that one.” He sighs, wondering how things would have turned out differently if Jared had said _‘i love you’_  right away. He wouldn't have, probably, thinking it would have freaked Jensen out right away. “You didn’t know, but it still hurt. It hurt so much.” He shakes his head, not wanting to dig into that. “I had to go away, I couldn’t handle being around you and seeing you and—  _God_ , I couldn’t. It was too much. I needed to get out of here.”  
  
Jensen nods, in silence, and they don’t say anything for a while.   
  
Jared feels ten pounds lighter, as if letting it all out and finally telling Jensen how he felt and how it hurt makes everything so much more simple again.  _The truth will set you free_ , yeah of course, but Jared never thought that it could be taken to that level and be so fucking literal.   
  
“I’m sorry.” Jensen says once again, and when Jared looks up he knows Jensen means it. He doesn’t have a single doubt of how much Jensen is sorry about it. “For all of it, Jared. I’m so, so sorry.”  
  
He nods, letting Jensen understand he believes him on that. It makes the constant bitterness, always buried deep down in him fade away, just a bit. Maybe it will start to go away now, day by day. Maybe Jared really needed that to hear Jensen say that, but he didn’t realize it until now.   
  
“Thanks for saying that.” Jared sighs and takes a long sip of his glass of water, wanting to put a stop to the sudden emotional rollercoaster. “Can we just— change the subject for now?” He pleads, and Jensen nods and smiles a little bit, making Jared feel somehow better with that simple gesture. “To anything, really I— just tell me, how's your family? How’s your mom doing?”   
  
Jensen appears surprised for a split second, and now he flinches and looks down.   
  
“I don’t think that’s the topic you wanna change to, let’s just go back to college adventures, I’m sure there’s more to talk about.”  
  
Jared frowns, and sets the glass back on the table. “What? Why not? Come on, tell me.” Jensen was always close to his mom. His father left when Jensen was a kid, and he didn’t have any siblings. Jared always thought that was another reason why he and Jeff were that close, he was like a brother to Jensen. “Is everything okay with your mom? Is she okay?”  
  
Now that Jared thinks about it, he’s surprised she’s not coming to the wedding. He remembers Donna loved Jeff just as much as his mom loves Jensen.   
  
Jared keeps waiting for Jensen to say something, and finally he takes a deep breath and tilts his head up.  
  
“My mom passed away two years ago, Jared.”  
  
It feels like a rush of ice-cold water washing over him, like a sharp punch to the gut. He opens his mouth, taking a sharp breath and simply staring at Jensen. No way, no fucking way. Donna died?  
  
“W-What? Two years ago?” Jared asks, starting to feel desperate. “Oh my God, Jensen— I had no idea, I’m so sorry. Oh my God.” Nobody told him. He wasn’t around for— any of it. And nobody, not Jeff or his parents or Adrianne said anything about it. “What happened to her? Jensen, I didn’t know, why didn’t I know?” He keeps talking, too fast and making nonsense. “I’m sorry, Jensen. I’m so sorry for you loss.”  
  
“Cancer.” Jensen says, answering just the first of the questions, and Jared covers his mouth right away. “We detected it too late, and she always said she didn’t want to be in pain. So, she left without feeling pain. So I always think that to, you know, feel a little better about it.”  
  
“I’m sorry.” Jared reaches over with both hands, placing them over Jensen’s on the table. “She was always so brave and happy. I’m sure she appreciated that a lot.” Jensen nods, looking down, and Jared squeezes his hand. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when that— Jesus, why the hell didn’t Jeff say anything? I should have been there!”  
  
“I asked Jeff and Adrianne not to say anything.” Jensen says with a sigh, making it even more confusing. “And Jeff told your parents the same, although I don’t know what he told them to manage that.”  
  
“ _What?_ Why not? I would have taken the first flight right there, Jensen. Fuck, I know a lot of shit went down years ago but you’re my  _friend—_ ”   
  
“Exactly. You’re that kind of friend, Jay.” Jensen explains, turning his hand over so their palms are touching, and Jared doesn’t lose a minute to lace their fingers together. “You would have been there, and you would have even forgotten that you were mad and hurt because of me. Three years of you avoiding me were enough to know you didn’t want to see me then, and I know you had your reasons for that.” He brings his other hand on the table, softly tracing Jared’s skin. “You would have forgotten all of it to be there, and would have even pretended you were never mad at me in the first place to show your support. And as much as I would have felt much better with you there, I didn’t want that.”  
  
Jared gives him a confused look, not quite sure what Jensen is getting at.  
  
“I wanted  _this_. I wanted you to hear me and to discuss what happened on your own terms, because you were ready to listen to me and wanted to.” He smiles a little bit, patting Jared’s hand. “I didn’t want you to feel forced to swallow down how you felt so you could be the great friend you always were and show me your support. I didn’t want to force you to like me again for the situation. I made that call, Jared.”  
  
Jared wants to say he should have told him anyway, that he knows how much Jensen loved his mom. He should have been there, been there for Jensen and for Donna. But it was Jensen’s decision at the end of the day, and Jared can respect that.  
  
“Also, I was kind of— well you can imagine, I barely wanted to even talk to Jeff.” Jensen sighs and Jared feels like crying again, because of the feelings from before and now this. Imagining Jensen hurting alone is too fucking much. “The original plan was for me to just be in Dallas for a while, learn and come back, but after that with my mom— I felt like staying in Dallas would help me feel better, you know? I fly here often because Jeff is my friend and this is my hometown but it also brings back a lot of memories of her and it makes me sad when I’m here for too long. Living in another city makes me think of her in better and happier terms, and I know she would have wanted that for me.”  
  
Jared brings one of his hands from the table to cover his mouth, trying to drown a sob against it. He can’t help it anymore, was never that good keeping down the tears anyway. It’s simply too much, too many memories and feelings and  _Jensen_.   
  
He covers his face next, cleaning the tears from his cheeks and sobbing again. “I’m sorry Jensen, I’m really sorry about your mom. And I’m sorry for not being there for you— and about you being sad and alone.” He hiccups, trying to stop it and keep it together, only to start crying even harder.   
  
Jensen shushes him gently, shaking his head, and squeezing his hand now.   
  
“I know you would have been there if you could, that’s on me, Jay.” He assures him with a soft voice. “You don’t have to apologize for that, don’t worry about it.”   
  
Jared closes his eyes but then he feels Jensen’s hand on his cheek, making him blink and tear up some more, and Jensen shushes him again and cleans his tears with his thumb, cupping his face and repeating that it's all okay now, that Jared doesn’t need to worry or feel bad about it. Jared nods and sniffs some more, and Jensen keeps his hand right there on his face, giving Jared the comfort he needs.  
  
“Come on, no more tears now.” He rubs Jared’s cheek gently once he’s almost done tearing up. “You’re still my favorite crybaby, aren’t you?” Jensen adds with a fond voice, making him smile.   
  
“I always went crying to you when Jeff was a dick to me.” He hiccups and smiles again at the memory.  
  
“And I always kicked his ass for it.” Jensen traces the dip of his right dimple.   
  
Jared nods and smiles even more, the warmth of Jensen’s palm making him feel better along with is smile.   
  
“And I always will.” Jensen assures, cleaning the last trails of Jared’s tears on his cheeks. “And I believe this outing isn't over. At least not without ice cream, right?”  
  
That gets a small laugh from Jared, and as soon as Jensen moves his hand away, he realizes he misses the contact.   
  
They order dessert and talk for the rest of the afternoon, and it doesn’t take them long to start joking and laughing again until Jared’s need to cry completely goes away.They don’t bring up the kiss from the last night, and Jared is not sure  _why_ , but he’s also too busy enjoying his time with Jensen to think about that for too long.  


 

—

 

  
The next day is finally the day of the wedding, and when Jared wakes up, his house is in absolute chaos.   
  
He wakes up in the first place because he hears Adrianne’s ultrasonic screaming as she tries to find something that is supposed to be there, but evidently isn't. Jared is too dizzy to tell what at first, but that sure as hell makes him jump out of bed. Chad is in his room, finally up after almost an entire day of nothing but sleep, saying he’s hungry as fuck and looking unsurprised when Jared tells him he passed out an entire day after the parties. He was kind of expecting that to happen.   
  
There's no time to tell him about him and Jensen having lunch and spending the entire afternoon together because Adrianne bursts in, hair half up and makeup half finished asking if they've seen a white box with heels in them. That rings something in Jared’s head, going to the first floor and grabbing the box Jensen left on the coffee table the day before, now hidden between a bunch of flower arrangements. Adrianne physically clings to him and Jared breaks out laughing, feeling happier than he remembers feeling in a long time, cupping her face and kissing her forehead before smacking her ass and telling her to go finish her makeup.   
  
“I’m gonna become your sister today!” She yells, jumping around him in her underwear, making Jared laugh again.  
  
“You’re already my sister, silly.” He corrects her, turning her around and making her walk back to her mom’s room, where the aunts and cousins are all helping her get ready.   
  
He can barely have breakfast between getting ready himself fixed into his suit, not even bothering fighting with his hair to make it look better, it’ll have to simply look like it does any other day. No one will be looking at his hair anyway, he figures, since they'll all have their eyes on Adrianne. Jared tells Chad about what happened yesterday while they both dress, and Chad bets Jared one hundred bucks the next wedding is gonna be his and Jensen’s.   
  
“Shut up! We just— kind of fixed things, you know? No big deal.” Jared shrugs, with a big silly smile on his face that says the complete opposite. “We didn’t even mention the kiss from the other night, we just talked and had a good time, nothing else. Not even when he drove me back home.”  
  
“One hundred dollars dude, I swear to fucking God.” Chad points at him from the other side of the room, fighting with his own tie. They really aren’t used to getting dressed up. “You and Ackles. I’m gonna get rich with this. And you better make me your best man when it happens.”  
  
Jared rolls his eyes and throws his towel at Chad, turning to look at himself in the mirror. He feels awkward in a suit just like he did during the rehearsal, but there’s no point on thinking about that. Everybody is going to be fixated on Adrianne and Jeff today, so nobody is going to notice how the groom’s little brother looks completely out of place in his tuxedo and vest.   
  
Sharon has already given them work to do: he and Chad — along with his dad and Megan — have to carry flowers to the cars, help with the dresses, go buy lunch for everybody, and Jared has to drive all the way to the hotel Danneel is staying with her dad because she forgot the something borrowed and something blue Adrianne is supposed to have.   
  
When he gets home again, it's just in time to see Adrianne making her way to the down the stairs with her wedding dress in place and her hair and makeup completely done. She looks too beautiful for words, and Jared is sure his brother is gonna tear up when he sees Adrianne like that walking down the aisle. She gives him a big happy smile and Jared gets close to hug her tightly.   
  
“You look gorgeous.” He whispers in her ear, and when they pull apart she beams at him, doing a turn to he can see the dress from every angle.   
  
Jared gives her a thumbs up, nodding solemnly. “My brother is going to fucking cry when he sees you, Anne.”  
  
“That’s what your mom said!” She says excitedly. Apparently that’s her mission for the day, aside from getting married, to make Jeff burst into tears. There is no doubt around the house that it's going to happen. “Hey, Jensen got home last night and said you two were together all day,” Adrianne adds in a whisper “Spill the deets, you dog!”  
  
He shakes his head, cupping her face. “Later, okay? We have plenty of time to talk about it, today it’s all about you, and we have to leave. We’ll set up a date just to talk about it, I promise.”  
  
Adrianne beams again and leans up to kiss his face, leaving a red print on his cheek.   
  
He and Chad have to leave first since Jared is one of groomsmen and has to be ready at his spot in front of the altar when Adrianne arrives. He’s not sure who owns of the car he’s driving, they just shove a set of keys in his hand and tell him to look for the “blue one”. He thinks it belongs to one of his aunts, but it also kind of looks like Genevieve’s car too. They make it to the Memory Lane Event Center way faster than planned, and when he walks inside Jared  _feels_ Adrianne in every corner, everything is decorated just how she wanted, and it honestly looks amazing.   
  
“Jared!” He hears Jeff behind him, waiting at the altar and chatting with the minister. There are some guests already there, and he waves at some of them as he walks to his brother, promising to come back in a few to say hello properly.   
  
Jeff hugs him until Jared can’t breathe, patting his back and mumbling about how happy he is and how he can’t believe he’s finally going to marry Adrianne.   
  
“You had it coming for years.” Jared smiles at him, amused to see Jeff fidgeting and walking around, obviously unable to stop himself or sit down. “Congratulations, I’m really happy for you.”  
  
“Did you see her? How is she?” Jeff asks, wide-eyed and jittery.  
  
“Oh you’re so gonna cry.” Is all Jared says, not spoiling too much about it, and Jeff laughs loudly and keeps smiling, running to the minister again to ask him more questions about God knows what. They had that long ass rehearsal for a reason, Jared is sure the minister already told them every possible thing they needed to know and them some more.   
  
He has to turn on his feet and go say hello to the guests he knows right away. It’s like the first day back in Austin all over again with questions about work, relationships and how excited he is about Jeff finally getting married ,along with a couple awkward _“and when is gonna be your turn?”_ questions that Jared dodges the best he can.  
  
One of his uncles is in the middle of telling him thestory of the time when he got married when Jared sees Jensen walk in, looking around and probably looking for Jeff, and the only thing he can do is stare with his mouth embarrassingly open.   
  
_Jesus fucking Christ._  
  
He has always considered Jensen beyond gorgeous, of course, but it now it’s another level of good looks that Jared is not sure he can handle.   
  
Jensen is in the tux agreed upon by the groomsmen, cerulean blue vest and bow tie in place, and if Jared thought he looked good at the rehearsal, that is nothing compared to this. Jensen is in a tuxedo and he looks so goddamn hot Jared is surprised he didn’t get a hard on right in front of his family.   
  
The entire look simply works on Jensen, fabric molded around his body and once again giving out the perfect shape of Jensen’s arms — that Jared might jerk off thinking about days later — and highlighting his good facial features even more. It’s a rule that women, and some guys too, go crazy for a sharp dressed man. Tuxedos make guys hotter, but if the guy is hot on his own terms already, then a good suit can propel him to a God-like level of beauty. Or maybe that's just Jensen, who looks like a rich model ready to make Jared horny the entire ceremony.  
  
He’s clean shaven now, and even if that scruff looked good on him, this works perfectly for the entire fancy vibe.   
  
Jared stares, not even caring for being subtle, watching Jensen say hello to some people as he keeps looking around.  _Goddamn him_. Jared could stare at him until his eyes fell from his face. Jensen’s level of hotness is simply not fair to  humanity.   
  
Jensen turns to look right to Jared’s direction, and he’s too distracted openly thirsting over Jensen to pretend to look someplace else. But instead of waving and move on, Jensen’s face lights up with one of those smiles Jared was always a sucker for, and he proceeds to walk towards Jared.   
  
“I’ll be right back.” Jared tells his uncle, and it’s probably a lie, he has other people to go say hi too. “I think the best man wants to talk to me.”  
  
He makes his way out of the crowd of family, and when Jensen can see more than his face, Jared swears he feels Jensen’s eyes traveling up and down his body. He’s openly checking him out, just like Jared did with him, the difference being Jensen has no trouble doing it right to his face.  
  
Jared swallows, suddenly self-conscious that he doesn’t look as good at Jensen, and that maybe he simply looks dumb in his black and blue get-up. But maybe that’s not the case, because Jensen gives him another long sweeping stare and then licks his fucking lips — slowly and deliberately, making Jared’s legs go weak — and keeps walking until he stops right in front of him. maybe even a little too close.   
  
So close there’s barely any space between them. Jensen is getting really good at this ignoring Jared’s personal bubble deal, and Jared couldn’t care less.   
  
“Nice suit.” Jensen smiles at him and that’s enough to have Jared flushing, pleased with the compliment. “Jeff always swears he’s the better looking Padalecki but he’s so,  _so_ wrong on that one.”  
  
Jared lets out the silliest laugh he's ever heard come out of his own mouth, pushing his hair back nervously with one hand.   
  
“Thanks. Right back at you.” Jared tries to keep his eyes on Jensen’s face and not make another eye-fucking scene by looking at the entire picture. “The tux is— you look—  _great_. You look great, the tux really suits you.”  
  
Jensen looks fondly at him for his stuttering, but before they can keep chatting Jeff appears again, calling for Jensen. He gives Jared a wink and turns around to go talk with his brother, and Jared smiles like a teen in love for a few seconds.   
  
After that, it all seems to happen in a blur for Jared. One moment he’s talking with a cousin, then he has to start telling people to please take a seat since the bride is about to get there soon and then he gets rushed to the altar by his dad — whom Jared has no clue when he got there — and he has to go stand between Jensen and the other groomsmen. Jensen mouths  _‘Hey you’_  when Jared gets there, nudging him with his elbow like he did during the rehearsal  _‘Ready to see your brother cry?_ ’ Jared shoves him lightly, smiling and hiding his eyes behind his bangs. He has no idea what the fuck this is that they're doing now, but it seems too natural and amazing to stop to analyze.   
  
When the wedding march starts and Adrianne finally appears at the end of the aisle, Jared makes sure to peek at Jeff. Just as he expected, his brother looks like he’s having a religious experience looking at Adrianne walking towards him, and when she gets to his side, Jeff is full on tearing up.   
  
The ceremony is actually really nice. Jared thought the minister was annoying before, but he sure knows how to make all the guests sentimental, and even he feels like tearing up when Jensen hands the couple the rings and they exchange vows. Jeff's ones are really good, but Adrianne's vows have everybody in their families almost bawling by the end.   
  
When they are finally pronounced husband and wife, Jared claps and yells as loud as he can, with all the guests on their feet watching Jeff and Adrianne walk down the aisle holding hands. Adrianne keeps smiling at everybody, leaning against his brother while Jeff looks like he’s in heaven, too distracted staring at Adrianne like she’s God to pay attention to anything or anybody else.   
  
Jared follows down the aisle after the bridemaids, with Jensen walking by his side. He remembers then Chad’s comment about them getting married, and it makes him bite his own tongue while he chats with Jensen and looks down, suddenly nervous. Jensen gives him a curious look but doesn’t ask, and Jared is grateful for that.   
  
Jared winds up sharing a ride to the reception with Jensen, but this time he doesn’t have a problem with that or try desperately to run away. He flashes Jensen a smile when he gets in his uncle’s car and sees Jensen sitting by his side.   
  
“Are you following me now, Padalecki?” He jokes, and Jared snorts, shaking his head.  
  
“You wish, Ackles.”  
  
He’s honest to God flirting with Jensen now. And Jensen has no trouble flirting back, and as much as Jared had fun with him yesterday, he’s not sure where all the winking, smiling and joking is taking them. Jared doesn’t want to read too much into it, but he is really fucking enjoying it.   
  
Adrianne and Jeff are supposed to arrive first, followed by all the guests, and Jared thinks he heard his mom saying they have a room at the hotel to wait until everybody arrives. He also thinks Jeff and Adrianne probably want that time to be cheesy as fuck on their own before they have to spend the night with the rest of them.   
  
Jared chats with Jensen the entire ride, talking about Adrianne’s vows and how much they can’t wait to tease Jeff for crying so much during the entire thing. Jensen has to go make sure everything is ready for the buffet when they get there, as Adrianne asked him to do, and Jared feels honestly bummed about not being able to stay with him until the reception starts. Being around Jensen is too much fun.   
  
It doesn’t take him long to find Chad, though, who apparently got there with someone else from his family or one of the guests. It also looks like he got there way before Jared, since he’s walking out of one of the bathrooms fixing his suit and brushing his hair.   
  
“What were you doing?” Jared asks with a little laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. Is there any place where Chad cannot get laid?   
  
“Hey, you’re not the only one allowed to get some in Austin, Jay.” He claps Jared’s shoulder and keeps trying to fix his hair, so it doesn’t look like he just rolled out of bed. Jared doesn’t want to ask how exactly he got it that messy. “Gotta honor the wedding with a good fuck, you know?”  
  
“You’re unbelievable.”   
  
“Don’t act like you don’t want to do the same with Ackles.” Chad shrugs, and Jared doesn’t have a compelling argument against that.   
  
Jared does want to. And they seem like they are in a place now that it might happen with enough luck. Jared thought for a while that they would end it all “angry fucking” like Chad put it before, but now it looks like they could sleep together for real without the fighting in between. Jared is trying to not keep his hopes too high on that, but  _hey_ , it  _could_ happen. Doesn’t seem that impossible anymore.   
  
And apart from clearly wanting to sleep with Jensen, he also wants to see him around again so they can keep talking. Jared is slowly coming to realize he not only wants to get into Jensen's pants, he wants that camaraderie with Jensen again. Being with Jensen in general is as nice as it was before. But between talking to guests and helping them find their seats Jared doesn’t see Jensen again for an entire hour, as he's busy with his own duties as best man.   
  
It’s not until Jared goes to his own seat at the front table that he sees Jensen sitting there and talking to one of the other groomsmen. Danneel catches him staring at Jensen and gives him a thumbs up, blowing him a kiss after that and making Jared laugh. That catches Jensen’s attention, making him look up at Jared and make signs for Jared to come sit by his side.   
  
“I’m four seats over there,” Jared says, pointing at the tag in front of the chair Jensen wants him to sit in. “You’re by Jeff’s side, see? I can’t take away the groom’s seat.”  
  
“I bet Jeff wouldn’t mind scooting for his little brother.” Jensen answers like he sees no big deal in it. “Not like he’s going to notice anyway, he’s only going to care for Adrianne.”  
  
“Well, Adrianne is the one who  _would_ notice.”  
  
“Well, aren’t you two the best of friends now.” Genevieve interrupts from some seats away, giving them a smirk as Danneel nods behind her, looking pleased. “Careful there, Jensen. I don’t think the groom would appreciate you flirting with his little brother.”  
  
Jared opens his mouth, taking advantage of the fact that Jensen is looking at Genevieve and therefore can’t see him.  _He can’t believe she just said that_. He makes signs to her, shaking his head and sliding his hand over his own neck, mimicking a knife and mouthing  _‘cut it out!’_  but both Gen and Danneel pretend to not even see him.   
  
“I agree,” Danneel adds. “It's also not fair to hog Jared’s attention all to yourself. Some of us would like to chat with him too.” She looks past Jensen, winking at Jared, and Jared tenses up when Jensen simply smiles at them.  
  
“I’m pretty sure Jeff would cut me some slack about it.” He’s not denying he’s flirting with Jared, and that makes Jared’s heart jump in his chest. “And I’m sorry, ladies, but I intend to steal all of his attention tonight. Tough luck for you.”  
  
He looks over his shoulder at Jared, and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed in reply. If he’s supposed to joke or answer for real. He doesn’t have to think too long about it, since that’s the moment Jeff and Adrianne decide to walk inside of the room, stealing the spotlight on the perfect timing since they all stand to their feet to clap with the rest of the guests.   
  
Jared has to move to his real seat then, heart still beating out of control. So Jensen is for real. All this is honest to God flirting now. Which can only mean Jensen likes him? It's the only logical explanation.  _Jensen likes him_. It sounds so unexpected and incredible that it numbs Jared for a while, has him sitting in silence and looking at nothing until Jeff and Adrianne are finally sitting at the table. Chad elbows him to snap him out of it, asking if he’s okay, but Jared is still to distracted by the realization of  _Jensen being into him_ to sinking in.   
  
All he ever wanted, all he ever _dreamed of_ , it’s happening now. Jared has no idea how to cope with that. He has too many questions.  _How much does Jensen like him? Since when exactly? What does Jensen wants to do with that? Where does he intend to go with it?_  
  
He even misses most of Jeff’s welcome speech, his brother thanking everybody who came and expressing how happy he is today, instead lost in his own sea of thoughts. When he finally starts to pay some attention again, Jeff and Adrianne are standing again, doing their first dance as a couple in the middle of the room.   
  
“Earth to Jared.” Chad smacks him in the back of the head, making Jared groan and rub at the spot, giving his friend a bitter look.   
  
“That was really uncalled for, thanks a lot.”  
  
“Are you done staring into space like you just discovered the meaning of life?” Chad asks, looking at him weird. “It’s getting kinda creepy, and I can usually deal with you being weird as fuck just fine.”  
  
_“Jensen likes me.”_  Jared whispers right away, taking a quick peek at him where he’s standing and taking a video of Adrianne and Jeff's first dance on his phone. “He fucking likes me!”  
  
“You say that like it’s such fucking news.” Chad rolls his eyes. “Yes he likes you, hadn’t you noticed it before now? Dude, you suck at this. Think of all the shit he's done this week to be with you, talk to you, apologize to you.” He counts, raising his fingers right in front of Jared’s face. “I bet you a good amount of money about you two getting married for a reason, of fucking course Ackles likes you, man. I wouldn’t bet my money if I wasn’t sure of that.”  
  
Jared thinks he’s staring at Chad like a maniac, eyes wide and breathing a little fast. “I-I didn’t know if you were for real, and— and he admitted to Danneel he was flirting with me—”   
  
Chad puts his hands on Jared’s shoulder, whispering back. “I know this is like, the shittiest place to realize your life-long crush likes you back because you can’t scream and jump around and all that bullshit like you probably want to but come on, deep breaths.” Jared nods, trying to stay calm. “Stay chill, or Ackles is gonna realize something is up.”  
  
Jared looks at Jensen again, taking deep breaths and trying to keep that in mind. That’s true, not a good place to have an emotional moment.   
  
Chad gives him a smile then, ruffling his hair.   
  
“Good for you, Jay. Make sure to have fun with him during the party.”   
  
Oh, Jared is sure as hell planning to.   
  
After the first dance — and Adrianne’s dance with her dad — it's dinner time, and Jared couldn’t be more grateful for that. He feels like he had lunch ages ago, and dinner also means he gets to sit at the table and chat with everybody. He feels comfortable at this table, with all of Adrianne’s friends there along with Chad, his brother, Adrianne and Jensen. They all make sure to give Jeff hell about crying and then talk about how everything is coming along really well and assure the new couple they are all having fun so far.   
  
When the dinner is over, is time for the toast by the best man. Jared takes his glass full of champagne by the st m as Jensen stands up, calling for everybody’s attention.   
  
Jared shakes his head to himself, appreciating Jensen’s look in that tuxedo again. He’s not the only one, of course, Jared can see a lot of guests give Jensen appreciative looks now that all the attention is on him. He’s used to people looking at Jensen that way — it's Jensen, no way of avoiding it — but it grinds on his nerves a bit, almost making him wanting to call out  _“Yeah, he looks great, but he also likes me, for the record.”_  But that might not be the best idea, so he shuts up and listens to Jensen.   
  
“I want to thank everybody again, in the name of Jeff and Adrianne Padalecki, for being here. I know you all mean a lot to them and that’s why they wanted you to be part of their wedding.” Jensen starts, giving a commercial smile. Jared knows Jensen doesn’t like talking in public like this, he also had to give the graduating speech when he and Jeff graduated and Jared remembers how nervous he was about that. Jared also knows he’s very eloquent, but he doesn’t like being in the spotlight like that, but of course he would do it anyway for Jeff.   
  
When Jensen looks to him for a moment, Jared makes sure to crack a smile for him, nodding as encouragement.   
  
Jensen has a really good toast prepared, as expected. Jensen quickly talks about being Jeff’s childhood friend and being there when Jeff realized he was head over heels for Adrianne, saw how they clearly fell in love and how they're obviously perfect for each other, since they are not only a couple, but also best friends.   
  
“So I saw it all, from the high school crush to Jeff rehearsing how to propose to Adrianne and sweating bullets over it.” Everybody laughs, and Jeff shoves at Jensen with a doofy grin. “Jeff has always been like a brother to me, sometimes I even feel like a Padalecki myself.” Jensen licks his lips then, and Jared can see he’s debating to say something for a split second, and then he looks up and keeps talking. “I mean, If I wanted to get more in the family, I’d have to marry Jared.” He drops, like it’s the most  _normal_  shit to say, and Jared almost chokes on nothing, staring at Jensen like he has gone insane. _He would have to marry who again?!_  
  
Jensen, on the other hand, doesn’t even look phased saying that. Jared looks around, wanting to make sure if he really heard well or he had a little stroke and projected something that Jensen didn’t really say. But apparently he did, because all the girls and Chad are looking at Jensen with the same surprised faces. Even Jeff, who has been oblivious to it all is giving Jensen a slightly confused stare.   
  
“And, who wouldn’t love that? I mean, look at him.” Jensen keeps fucking going, and almost gives Jared a heart attack when he points at him with an extended hand. Jared can’t believe what he’s fucking hearing. “I’d sure love to marry all that.”  
  
Jared is going to murder Jensen. Full on kill him, with his bare hands, for openly saying that in front of everybody when Jared can’t do something silly like breaking in embarrassing childish giggles or walk up to him and kiss him like he suddenly really wants to. He can feel himself blushing under everybody's stare, but he only has eyes for Jensen now.   
  
_Jensen would sure love to marry all that._  
  
It feels like Jensen made his way inside of Jared’s mind and made sure to say out loud everything Jared ever wanted to hear since he was a teenager. It even feels too good to be true, making Jared expect for Jensen to suddenly laugh and say  _“Just kidding!”_  and then keep going with his toast.   
  
But he doesn’t. He looks at Jared for what it feels like ages — Jared knows it’s only a couple seconds, but it still seems longer than that for him — and Jared  _knows_ Jensen means it.   
  
Chad was right. This is the shittiest place to find out his long-life crush likes him back.   
  
He would love to run to Jensen right about  _now_.   
  
“So I almost feel like I’m in the family, and Jeff always made me feel like a brother too,” Jensen continues, going back to what he’s supposed to be talking about and not  _Jared_. “And because he’s my brother, I couldn’t be happier that he found the love of his life when he was a teen and made sure to never let her go. Because Adrianne is perfect for him, and I only see Jeff completely happy when she’s around. I used to not think people could be meant to be, but now I do.”  
  
Jared feels like there’s a double meaning there, but he’s dealing with too much information right now and doesn’t want to read into it because he’s influenced by Jensen’s previous words. Jensen raises his glass of champagne, and all of them do the same. “To Adrianne and Jeff.”  
  
"To Adrianne and Jeff," the whole audience repeats, and then everyone lowers their glasses to drink.  
  
It’s supposed to be a sip of the champagne, but Jared downs it all right then, feeling like he needs it. When Jensen sits back down, he makes sure to make eye contact between them. They don’t do anything, they don’t say anything. They just keep staring at each other, even during Adrianne’s sister toast as maid of honor.   
  
He can’t believe this. All these years Jared was so sure he didn’t love Jensen anymore, but he couldn’t be more wrong.   
  
The rest of the reception seems to go by in a blur. The couple cutting the cake and taking pictures, Jared eating the cake distractedly while Danneel and Chad gush by his side about all the things Jensen said about him during his toast, and then Adrianne and Jeff’s second dance. Now the music is faster and more party-like, and they are bringing guests into the dance floor so they start dancing too.   
  
Genevieve nags Chad to go with her until he agrees and then Danneel makes Katie and Alona go too. Jared stays at the table, turning down everybody's encouragements to go with them.   
  
He  _sucks_ at dancing, can’t fucking follow any kind of rhythm  to save his life.The party's just starting, and right now dancing requires some kind of coordination Jared doesn’t possees. He’ll join the crowd later that night when there’s more drinking, more jumping around and enjoying yourself and less skilled abilities.   
  
He knows  _when_ to hit the dance floor at parties, Jared learned that a long time ago.   
  
When their table is almost empty, he realizes Jensen is still there too. He gives Jared a smile and waggles his eyebrows, nodding in the direction of the dance floor.  
  
“Don’t you dare!” Jared warns, talking a little loud so Jensen can hear him over the music. “You know I suck at it. Don’t you fucking dare!” He laughs, pointing at him.  
  
If Jensen asks him to dance, Jared will end giving in and then proceed to make a fool of himself in front of everybody. _‘Later_ ’ Jared mouths then,  _‘when everybody is more drunk’_.  
  
Jensen laughs back and nods. Then Jared realizes Adrianne’s sister is still there so he points to her for Jensen. He catches what Jared means and politely asks her to dance with him. Jared’s okay with it, Jensen shouldn’t spend the rest of the night bored because Jared wants to wait until later, and also Adrianne’s sister looks like she really wanted to go, so he’s happy she gets to have fun too.   
  
The girls keep Jensen pretty busy when they see him on the dance floor, taking turns dancing with him and Chad considering there a lot more of them and few guys they actually know. They all come and go to the table every now and then, and Jared has to keep refusing to go and promising he’ll dance some later. He also has to make sure to order sodas and wine quite constantly to have as back up, because they all drink whatever Jared has when they come “visit” him.  
  
One of those visits ends being Adrianne, and Jared pulls him in a hug as soon as he sees her coming.   
  
“Of course you would be here instead of there having fun!” She pinches his stomach and Jared squirms away from the touch, chuckling. “Waiting for people to look just as bad as you dancing to join us?”  
  
“You know me.” Jared murmurs as he presses a kiss to her cheek.   
  
“I’m sure Jensen would love to dance with you after he said he wants to marry your perky ass.” Adrianne sneaks a hand behind him and pinches his ass now, making Jared jump and smack her hand away.   
  
“He didn’t say anything about my ass!” But he can’t deny the rest of it. Adrianne shakes her head and then moves closer.   
  
“Okay, if you’re not gonna do anything right now, would you be a doll and go to the room so you can bring me the other pair of shoes I have?” She raises her dress so Jared can see her heels, and yeah, he can see why it would kill her to dance with those. “Room 502, it’s under Jeff’s name so if you show some ID and identify as his brother they should give you the card. We put you on the list of people who could get one, just in case.”  
  
“Of course you only invited me to be your butler.” Jared jokes, and Adrianne smacks his ass this time before she leaves to keep dancing.   
  
He makes his way out of the room to go for Adrianne’s shoes and is really surprised of the difference when he steps out. Everything is so damn calm outside, doesn’t feel like there's a party just beyond the door. The rooms for events are well located, because when Jared makes it to the lobby he can’t hear music at all.   
  
The hotel is beyond fancy — damn Hilton, after all — and he starts looking for his wallet before he makes it to the front desk to talk to one of the receptionists. Adrianne is right, when he says he’s Jeff’s brother —  _“The groom at the party, yeah, my sister-in-law asked me to get something from the room”_  — they ask him for some identification and to wait there a moment while they verify the information.   
  
He gets distracted for a moment, looking around at how nice everything is, trying to calculate how much it would cost to stay here just one night when the receptionist comes back.   
  
“Jared Padalecki?” He turns, and she hands him his ID and a shiny golden key card. “Here you go. And congratulations to your brother.”  
  
“Thank you.” He smiles at her, and is ready to go towards the elevators when he hears someone else calling him.   
  
“Jared? What you doing here?” He turns around to find Justin dressed in tight black jeans and a hoodie. It also looks like he’s not wearing a shirt under it, and Jared can see some glitter in his blonde hair. It’s an easy guess to say he was just working.   
  
“Justin, hey!” Jared walks closer, meeting him in the middle of the lobby. “Today's my brother’s wedding, the reception is here.” He smiles at him, and then is caught by surprise when Justin gets a little too close and kisses his cheek as hello. Okay, he wasn’t expecting that.   
  
“Wow, very nice.” Justin nods, looking around appreciatively. “Send my congrats to Adrianne, sincerely from the guy who took his clothes off in front of her some days ago.” He adds with a chuckle.  
  
“I’ll make sure to say it right in front of my brother.” He jokes back. “What about you, got a stripping job in this hotel too?”  
  
“I told you. You wouldn’t believe the places where people ask me to undress for them.” Justin winks at him, “A group of girls is celebrating a birthday party at the hotel bar. They reserved it for the night.”  
  
Jared nods, not sure what to keep talking about. He needs to go upstairs for Adrianne’s shoes, but for Justin’s face it appears like he expects Jared to stay there a little longer. He guesses maybe he can apologize for Jensen’s behavior last time they saw each other, but truth be told, both Justin and Jensen were pretty rude to each other.   
  
And Jared has the feeling Jensen wouldn’t apologize for it anyway.   
  
He doesn’t get to say any of that, thought, because Justin steps forward and keeps talking.   
  
“Now that you’re alone, I realize I can keep going with the invitation I started two nights ago.” Justin raises his hand, and Jared stops breathing when he feels him touching his hair, placing some strands behind his ear carefully.   
  
“The  _uh—_ what invitation?” Jared blinks, distracted by the touch and not sure how to make it stop. He likes Justin just fine, but he doesn’t like him in  _that sense_.   
  
“Oh, you know, I was about to ask you out when that _other guy_  appeared.”   
  
Jared doesn’t really appreciate the tone of disgust Justin uses when he says  _‘that other guy’_. Excuse him, Jensen is not some random dude who appeared out of nowhere. Yes, he was kinda rude, but again, they both were. And Jensen was only making sure Jared was alright, no need to be a dick about it.   
  
He frowns, ready to tell him to not refer to Jensen in that way when Justin suddenly moves his hand from Jared’s hair, only to put it on his face. Most specifically cupping it, thumb rubbing his cheek in the exact same way Jensen did when he was trying to make Jared stop crying the day befor .   
  
If he wasn’t expecting the hair brushing part, Jared is sure as hell not expecting  _this_.   
  
And he’s also pretty sure he doesn’t like it nor did he ask for it. Justin seems like a very nice guy, and Jared figures maybe he had something to drink during that birthday party because he wasn’t touchy at all two night ago, and Jared doesn’t want this.   
  
Right now, though, Justin keeps making all this physical contact Jared never said he was okay with.   
  
He grabs Justin’s arm, slowly using the hold to make him put his hand away.   
  
“Justin, listen—”  
  
“Oh come on, don’t be shy.” Justin laughs, bringing his other hand up to stroke Jared’s cheek again. “I know you like me too, you gave those vibes during the bachelorette party. Come here.”   
  
Jared doesn’t have time to push Justin's hand away  _again_ or tell him that  _no, he got it all wrong, Jared didn’t give any vibes at all_ , because Jensen suddenly there in a blink, grabbing Justin by his hoodie and roughly shoving him away from Jared.   
  
For the way Justin stumbles back, out of balance, Jared confirms he probably did have a little too much to drink during that birthday party.   
  
“You piece of shit, he clearly didn’t want you touching him. So you better fuck off.  _Now_.” Jensen hisses at Justin, jaw clenched and expression terrifying. He’s way more pissed than two nights away. Way, way more.   
  
“Oh yeah?” Justin snorts, walking towards Jared instead. “What if I don’t?”  
  
Jensen steps right in front of him — even if Jared is some inches taller — and doesn’t let Justin get any closer. He grabs Justin by his hoodie again, knuckles cracking.   
  
“If you touch Jared again I swear to God I'm gonna drag your fucking ass outside and make you regret ever even looking at him.”  
  
Justin only gives him a cocky smile as an answer, and when Jared sees Jensen close his other fist he grabs his hand, preventing him from him punching Justin straight in the face.   
  
“Jensen! Look at him, he drank too much.” He tells him, squeezing Jensen’s wrist, trying to make him understand. He’s not happy about Justin getting touchy either, but he also understands Justin maybe hit his alcohol limit. He wasn’t like this before. “Come on, let him go. He told me he was working at a party, they probably gave him too many drinks.”  
  
“He touched you.” Jensen says through his teeth, anger still lingering in his voice.   
  
“I know, but just— let him go, please? Just let him go, Jensen.” Jared pleads, not wanting them to start a fight there.   
  
Jensen seems to contemplate it for a couple seconds and then lets go of Justin’s hoodie. Justin huffs and gives Jensen a pissed off stare but it’s also kind out of focus. He tries to look at jared, but Jensen steps in between again, not letting Justin do that any longer.   
  
“Stay away from him.” Jensen warns in an angry voice. “Let’s go, Jay.”   
  
He nods as Jensen turns around, and when he also uses the hold Jared had on his wrist to hold his hand, Jared doesn’t protest, walking away from Justin without saying anything. They walk away from the lobby and into an empty corridor that connects with the elevators, and Jensen doesn’t let go of his hand until they are alone.   
  
“Are you alright?” Is the first thing he asks, finally dropping Jared’s hand and tilting his chin up gently.   
  
“Yes, don’t worry. He just— wouldn’t let go.” Jared shakes his head, trying to make it as unimportant as possible. Justin did get handsy when Jared didn’t want it, but he didn’t do anything else or even harmed him. “Honestly, Jensen it’s fine. You didn't have to do that. I can take care of myself. Thanks— thanks for appearing there to help me, though.”   
  
“I know you can, Jay, I just can’t fucking believe he did that, I should have broken his hand.” Jensen grumbles, and looks over his shoulder towards the lobby, trying to find Justin again, like he’s changing his mind about letting him go without punching him.   
  
“Jensen, no. You shoving him away was enough.” Jared grabs him by his shoulders, making him turn back.   
  
“Why were you talking to him anyway? I told you he was an asshole!” Jensen says with a huff, crossing his arm and staring at Jared for an answer.  
  
Jared blinks, confused.   
  
“Well— he saw me and said hello, I was just being polite.” He argues, not understanding why Jensen is suddenly turning it on him. Now is his fault for talking to Justin? “I didn’t know he had been drinking! He wasn’t like that at all last time!”  
  
“Doesn’t mean that because you think you know someone for one night then they're always gonna behave the same way!”   
  
“So it's  _my_ fault?” Jared frowns. “I didn’t even want to stay, I was about to leave when he grabbed me!”  
  
“I’m not saying it's  _your_ fault, I’m saying you need to be more careful, Jared!” Jensen looks frustrated, and honestly? He’s starting to piss Jared off too.  
  
“Why do you always have to treat me like a kid, huh?!” Are they always going to end up here? With Jensen getting his overprotective side out and making Jared feel like a child, when he never wants to feel like that  _with Jensen_? “You always come and make me feel like I’m some— some four year old who can’t take care of himself! I don’t want you to see me as a kid, Jensen! I don’t want you to look at me and think of me of Jeff’s little brother that you only want to protect because you have to!”  
  
“I don’t see you like that!” Jensen steps closer, and Jared doesn’t move an inch, staying right there and letting Jensen get in his space. “If I get protective of you, is not because you’re Jeff’s little brother, believe me.” Jared takes a sharp breath at that, letting Jensen keep going. “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me to not be able to take care of you in all these years? To make sure you’re okay?  _To make you happy?_ ”  
  
Jensen looks pissed and frustrated, and that’s possibly the reason why he’s finally saying all that to Jared.   
  
_Make him happy_.   
  
All Jared ever needed to be happy when he was a teenager was for Jensen to be around him, to be there in general. He doesn’t have to try hard for it.   
  
Jensen is what Jared needs to be happy.   
  
“I didn’t want to argue with you anymore, and I’m an idiot because here I am, making you angry again one way or another.” Jensen sighs, distressed, messing with his hair and then looking back at Jared, expression making Jared hold his breath and stare back. “And you know what else? I’m an idiot because only after you left did I realize how much I like you. It took me years and you being gone for me to understand that I’m goddamn crazy about you, Jared.”  
  
He doesn’t wait for Jensen to go in for the kiss this time, fuck that, that’s all Jared needs to hear. He grabs Jensen’s face with both hands, pulling him even closer and pressing their mouths together.   
  
He can feel his heart beating out of control, almost yelling  _Jensen, Jensen, Jensen_  against his ears, making Jared forget about the wedding, the fact that they are kind of in public and how he promised himself he wouldn’t fall for Jensen again.  _Again._ That’s ridiculous. He could never get over Jensen in the first place. And now Jared knows, he doesn’t want to either.   
  
Jared is happy to discover Jensen hasn’t changed his mind since Jeff’s bachelor party, and he’s just as eager to kiss Jared back, hands moving to his hips and backing Jared against one of the walls and pressing him there, mouth biting and making Jared groan.   
  
“Fuck.” Jared huffs, moving his hands down Jensen’s expensive tuxedo, already undoing the the buttons. He would happy to try and rip it off, but he figures it’s too much money to waste to do. And he also wants to see Jensen wear it again.  
  
“Oh, I’m planning to.” Jensen whispers against his ear, and Jared lets out a little laugh, hands playing with the buttons of Jensen’s tuxedo.   
  
“A little too cocky about it already, Ackles.” He says playfully, trying to catch his breath and then yelping when he feels Jensen’s hands sneak down his back to squeeze his ass.   
  
“Oh, I’ll give you cocky.” Jensen starts kissing him again, and that’s enough to distract Jared, going back to only caring about the feeling of Jensen’s tongue licking into his mouth as his teeth nibble and play with his lower lip. Jared moans into the kiss, trying to untie Jensen’s bowtie when he hears a noise coming from down the corridor.   
  
He’s too busy trying to undress Jensen right there to even blink about it, but Jensen does stop, pulling away for a second and making Jared try to chase after his kiss.  
  
“Oh you better not back down from this one.” Jared hisses, pulling his hands away just to look at Jensen in the eye. “I’ll knee you so hard your grandsons will feel it if you pull that on me again, Jensen, I swear to God”.  
  
Jensen leans forward  to press his face into Jared’s neck and laugh against Jared’s throat, shaking his head and dropping some kisses over his pulse.   
  
“Not backing down, baby,” He promises, lips brushing skin as he speaks, and Jared almost purrs at the petname. “It's just that we’re kind of in the middle of the hotel, anyone can catch us here.”  
  
“Sounds good to me.” Is all Jared whispers before he brings Jensen’s hips close again so he can pretty much rub up against Jensen’s crotch. He smiles when he sees Jensen close his eyes and try to put himself together.   
  
“Never thought you would be the kinky one.”   
  
Jensen brings one hand up, brushing Jared’s bangs out of his face carefully, making Jared want to lean into the touch and ask him to please keep doing that. “Always liked to imagine you would be, but couldn’t be sure.” Jensen adds with a smirk, and Jared is done with all the talking and none of the action.   
  
He looks for something in his pocket and pulls it out with a proud smile, waving the golden key card to the room in Jeff’s name right in front of Jensen’s eyes.   
  
“Oh, you little shit.” Jensen says and Jared laughs again, grabbing him by his hand and pulling him towards the end of the corridor, trying to get to the elevators. Jensen clicks his tongue as he lets Jensen drag him. “Trying to sneak someone in your brother’s room during your brother’s wedding.”  
  
Jared presses the arrow pointing up almost four times, trying to get the elevator there so they can get to the damn room already. Jensen takes advantage of the position to hug him from behind, lips brushing just so against Jared’s earlobe, making him shudder. “Who would think you could behave like that, Jay.”  
  
He chuckles, humming when he also feels Jensen's nose brushing the back of his neck, almost nuzzling the spot. “Am I gonna get spanked for it, then?” Jared jokes, and he is kind of surprised he was able to let that out, even if he's just trying to tease Jensen back. It's probably because of the fact that he has Jensen’s arms around his waist and his lips leaving wet little kisses on the back of his neck. It all makes Jared feel a little braver.   
  
The elevator gets there and when Jared steps inside and turns to look at Jensen with a smartass smile, he’s not prepared for Jensen pushing him all the way to the back of it, hands moving over his jacket and undressing Jared as he bites down his neck.   
  
Oh.  _Oh fuck_. Jared thinks, closing his eyes and whining at the feeling of Jensen sucking hickeys into his neck. So Jensen is into that. Jared knew that ‘ _belt your ass’_  comment during their lunch wasn’t thrown out there merely as an expression.   
  
And Jared can  _so_ get behind that idea. He’ll raise his ass and let Jensen go at it all night if he wants. He has kind of tried it before, with guys who couldn’t make it hot, but Jared can bet Jensen would know how to do it just right.   
  
“You honestly have  _no_ idea what you do to me.” Jensen whispers in his ear in between kissing Jared's neck where he just left his marks on him, and Jared smiles proudly at it, wanting to beam and roll in the light praise, sliding his finger through Jensen’s hair and messing it up.  _“What am I going to do with you, Jared?_ ”  
  
It rings something in the back of Jared’s head, making him open his eyes and stop messing with Jensen’s hair. That’s the exact same question Jensen asked him the first time, when they were fooling around on the couch in his living room. He lets a smile spread on his face and he pulls his head back so Jensen can look at him when he answers.   
  
“ _Whatever you want_ ,” he says, just like he did that night years ago, and watching Jensen bite his lower lip and look at him like he wants to fucking  _devour him_  is priceless. Jared is sure he’s completely hard now thanks to the way Jensen is full on eye-fucking him at this point.   
  
They fall into another desperate round of making out after that, with Jared tugging Jensen’s shirt out of his black pants and Jensen taking off Jared’s tie and making sure to put it in his back pocket, whispering _“we could use it for later”_ , brushing Jared’s wrists with his fingers. Jared is surprised he’s not coming in his pants already.   
  
He thinks they make it to the fifth floor and the elevator opens again, but when he hears someone clear his throat and Jared dares to peek over Jensen’s shoulder — Jensen who is marking his neck  _again_ ; Jared is starting to think this has something to do with Justin and Jensen being more possessive than Jared imagined, but he’ll ask later — only to discover a couple looking at them.   
  
Jared gasps and tries to pull Jensen away from him, smacking his arm and hissing  _“Jen, hey— J-Jensen! We've got company”_. He doesn’t want Jensen to stop, his mouth on any part of Jared feels like heaven, but them keeping the show going while a couple shoots them scandalized looks doesn’t exactly classify as one of the fantasies Jared has.   
  
Jensen looks back and only flashes the couple a smile. They can’t be younger than fifty, and the woman looks like she’s about to have a heart attack for how offended she looks.   
  
“Sorry, this is kind of a private ride.” Jensen says with a casual voice to Jared’s utter surprise.   
  
Then he presses the button that closes the doors of the elevator again, making sure to get his hand back on Jared’s ass after that to give it a good squeeze just for the hell of it. The woman opens her mouth to speak, and Jensen gives the couple a final head tilt. “Goodnight to you both, enjoy your stay at the hotel.”  
  
“Jensen!” Jared smacks his chest when the elevator closes again, laughing too loud for the couple not to be able to hear him one floor down. “Now I see all that polite doctor behavior is pure shit, huh?”   
  
He can’t believe Jensen just fucking did that. He throws his head back and keeps laughing, and Jensen only shrugs and drops two more kisses to his exposed neck.   
  
“I’m very polite and well behaved. I said sorry and goodnight.” He assures, kissing up Jared's neck until he gets to his chin and then to his mouth. Jared kisses him back right away. “But I have been waiting for this for years. I think they can wait a couple minutes for us to get out of the elevator.”  
  
Jared laughs again and nods. No way to argue with that logic.   
  
“Now, you were saying something about letting me do anything I want—” Jensen keeps talking, voice husky and rough at the end and Jared nods, opening Jensen’s shirt all the way down.   
  
“Toppy bastard.” Jared jokes, kissing Jensen and pushing him out of the elevator when it opens again, finally on their floor. Jensen doesn’t argue, nodding at the accusation and making sure to keep his hands somewhere on Jared's body at all times. Jared isn't entirely sure how they make it to the room considering they don't stop kissing and undressing each other, but at some point he’s standing in front of room 503 and fumbling the golden key card into the slot while Jensen molds himself to Jared's back, pressing his hips against Jared's ass so he can feel his hard-on.   
  
Jared bites his lip, trying to not moan at the feeling, tilting his ass up. Jensen gets the idea, grabbing Jared’s hips and grinding his clothed dick against Jared's ass slowly. It’s too fucking hot for words.   
  
Jared finally manages to get the door open, and pulls Jensen inside by his open shirt. Once they're inside, Jensen kicks the door closed again and gets back to work, helping rid Jared of his jacket and shirt as he walks him backwards towards the bed.   
  
There are no rose petals or champagne around, which means Jeff and Adrianne weren’t planning to use the room for what Jared and Jensen are going to. Jared barely sees a couple jackets and some packages at one of the corners of the room, but he has also better things to focus on, like Jensen finally taking off his tuxedo, only the black pants still in place.  
  
It takes him a minute to realize they're just staring at each other in silence, or more likely, mutually appreciating the view.   
  
“God, you’re too fucking hot.” Jensen murmurs breathlessly, and that gets Jared to flush, happy that Jensen likes what he sees.  
  
“I could make some lame  _‘come teach me anatomy, doctor’_  joke right now, but you've probably heard it all before.” Jared says and Jensen laughs, shaking his head. Jared beckons him with his index finger, and he loses no time crawling on the bed and settling himself on top of Jared, both of them shirtless and eager to get the rest of their clothes out of the way.   
  
“Yeah, I have heard a lot of those before.” Jensen presses his forehead against Jared and cups his face with one hand. “But I bet they would also sound way hotter if  _you_ said them to me.”  
  
He starts making his way down Jared’s chest after saying that, not even giving him a second to answer, kissing and biting at bare skin, only stopping to suck one of Jared’s nipples into his mouth. Jared moans loudly for the first time, arching off of the bed. He looks down and finds Jensen giving him a pleased smile, pleased with himself for finding out how responsive Jared is to nipple play.   
  
Jensen focuses on that for a while, biting and sucking around his nipples, making sure to use his fingers in between, until he has Jared full-on cursing and writhing on the bed. God fucking  _shit_. Jensen would be one to tease for the longest time  
  
“Aren’t you wanna keep going down?” Jared pants, propping himself up on his elbows. Jensen licks his lips and uses one hand to grip Jared's cock through his pants. Jared whines loudly, bringing a hand up to try to cover it up.   
  
“No patience, huh sweetheart?”   
  
Jared isn’t sure what’s hotter, Jensen half-naked Jensen caressing his dick through his slacks or him using pet names that make Jared’s cock twitch in his underwear.   
  
Jensen keeps teasing him for a little bit longer before he slides his mouth down his stomach, tongue dipping into the “v” of Jared’s hips. When he goes to undo Jared’s pants and get rid of his belt, Jared remembers something, pushing Jensen off of him by his shoulders to make him stop.  
  
“Jared, what—?” Jensen starts, confused. Jared groans and smacks his own forehead.   
  
“Adrianne’s shoes!” He complains, moving around on the bed as he tries to get something from his pocket.  
  
“Adrianne’s  _what?_ ”  
  
“Her shoes! She gave me the key so I would bring down her other pair of shoes for her.” He huffs, taking out his phone and trying to unlock it. Jensen groans too and lays down by his side, using the small break to catch his breath, one hand tracing Jared’s hip idly.  
  
“Are you texting her to tell her you’re not doing it?”  
  
“No.” Jared keeps typing, and Jensen gives him a surprised look.   
  
“Wait. You  _are_ going down again?”  
  
“Fuck no!” Jared laughs. Nobody is taking him out of that room. Good luck to the people who left those coats inside, they’re not seeing them until way later. “I’m texting Chad to come get them. I’m leaving them outside the door and hanging a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the knob.”  
  
Jensen hums, kissing his shoulder and making Jared chuckle. “Always so damn smart.”  
  
“Done.” Jared puts his phone down on the side table and pulls Jensen’s face down to him so they can kiss. “And you better not undress while I look for them. I want to have that pleasure of doing that for you myself.”  
  
Jensen smacks him on the ass when Jared moves from the bed to look for the shoes, and he shoots Jensen a smirk over his shoulder. Oh they are really going to get deep into that later.   
  
It actually doesn’t take that long to find the shoes, Adrianne has them ready in one of the bags Jared saw in the corner of the room. He makes sure to write a note for Chad on a notepad he finds in one of the drawers of the little bedside table.   
  
Jared puts the box with the shoes outside with the paper on top of it.  _‘Make sure nobody tries to come check the room, please. - JT’._ Is not like Chad of all people won’t get what is Jared doing in that room. He also hangs the ‘Do not disturb’ sign as promised, locking the door from inside and going back to the bed while opening his pants.   
  
“Hey, hey. This wanting to undress the other deal is mutual.” Jensen points at him when he sees and Jared stops right away, moving onto the bed to straddle Jensen’s hips. He can also see that while he was looking for Adrianne’s shoes, Jensen found what appears to be lubricant in the room’s bathroom. Jared’s not sure if it’s like using the little shampoos or if they’ll actually charge them for a goddamn bottle of lube if they open it, and it’s the Hilton, so if they do it’ll probably cost way too much.   
  
But Jared also doesn’t give a fuck right now, he can deal with lube appearing on the bill of Jeff’s room later.   
  
“Good idea.” He points to the lube on the bed and Jensen winks at him.  
  
“Thought we could start using it.”  
  
He shifts their positions easily with a simple move — honestly, Jensen and his  _fucking wrestling team_ — so Jared winds up on his back again, Jensen hovering over him. Jensen starts just where he was before the interruption, lips following the v-line of Jared’s hips.   
  
Jared arches his back and lifts his hips when Jensen tugs at his pants, helping him get them off. His dick is clearly tenting his boxers, and Jared doesn’t do a thing to try to hide it away. There’s even a dark spot where the head of his cock is straining against his boxers, making it so obvious that Jared has been leaking pre come like an eager teenager the entire time. Jensen doesn’t seem to mind either, rubbing the wet spot with his knuckles and causing Jared to hiss out Jensen’s name as his hand thumb sweeps over the head of his cock.   
  
“So fucking sensitive for me, Jay.  _Jesus Christ,_ that’s so hot.” Jensen licks his lips and hooks his fingers in the elastic waistband of Jared’s shorts, making sure to drop some kisses on Jared’s stomach before pulling them off. Jared relaxes again, openly giving permission for Jensen to use his body as he pleases.   
  
Jared can feel his hard cock curving up towards his belly, twitching against the cold air in the room and leaking more precome on his stomach when Jensen rubs his knuckles against the vein. Jared whimpers, bucking his hips up, aching for more of the touch. Maybe he’ll get Jensen wrapping his hand around him if he begs for it nice enough.   
  
“The view really makes me want to suck you off.” Jensen whispers, using both hands on Jared’s thighs to spread them apart as Jared complies, face heating up as he opens his legs and lets Jensen settle between them.   
  
Jared can only whine at Jensen’s words, trying to hold onto something but not knowing what to do with his hands, Jensen has him in a position where he can’t quite reach for him.   
  
He expects more touches on his cock after that comment, but to his surprise, he gets Jensen's fingers sliding along the crack of his ass, pressing gently against his rim. Jared takes a long gulp of air and curls his toes, feeling like he’s gonna explode at that simple touch alone.   
  
Jensen does it slow, knowing how it’s all having an effect on Jared — and he has the proof right there, with Jared’s hard cock leaking more precome at every single thing Jensen does —, spreading Jared’s cheeks and running his thumb up and down his hole. They’re all teasing touches, enough to get Jared even more worked but not enough to give him any sort of relief.   
  
Jared is gonna come just from Jensen carefully touching his ass if he keeps this up.  
  
“Fuck, oh my God.” Jared groans, spreading his legs  _more_ , not knowing what else to do to get Jensen to do something else. He’ll do anything, fucking Christ, everything Jensen asks him for he’ll do if that means Jensen will give him  _more_. “Please? Jensen _, please_.” He pants, almost incoherent.   
  
It’s barely touching, not a hand on his cock, just the soft brush of fingers at his hole, but it’s Jensen touching him and Jensen leaning down to kiss his spread legs. It’s  _Jensen_ about to fuck him, so Jared has the right to be as incoherent as he wants.   
  
“There you go, gorgeous.” Jensen practically purrs and Jared nods, not sure if Jensen can see him but doing it anyway. The nicknames are doing wild things to him tonight. “Ready to beg for it? What do you want, Jay?”  
  
“Fuck— Jensen,  _anything_ you want just— something.  _Please_.” He stutters, brushing his hair out of his face and groaning when Jensen runs his thumb up and down his hole again, doing little circles, watching Jared clench right in front of his eyes. “Please fuck me.”  
  
Jensen hums in agreement, and Jared feels like whining when Jensen moves his hands away, but luckily they come back pretty quickly. He hears him uncapping something, and the cold sensation of lube being rubbed around his rim makes Jared squirm.  _Now they’re talking_.  
  
“Gonna get there, Jay. Gonna fuck you.” Jensen assures, and Jared wants to scream of pure fucking joy. “But first I wanna give you more attention.” Jared isn’t sure what that’s supposed to mean, but he has no time to worry about it because Jensen starts to slowly press a finger inside of him.   
  
Jared thinks Jensen wants to make a damn show of it, taking his sweet time getting him ready to take that finger alone, moving it in and out until Jared has tears in the corner of his eyes from how horny and desperate to come he is. _But he loves it._  The teasing, the begging. He never tried that before, but with Jensen on top of him making him ask  _pretty please_ , Jared realizes he has never done anything hotter during sex.   
  
As soon as Jensen manages to add a second finger inside of him, he speeds things up a little bit, and with that Jared’s moans get louder and louder progressively. Jared thinks Jensen's getting him ready to take Jensen’s cock, but when instead of adding another finger he wraps his hand around Jared’s hard on and starts to jerk him off, he feels like his brain has short-circuited.   
  
“Oh fuck, Jensen,  _fuck_!” He cries out, gripping the sheets and not quite sure whether to fuck himself down onto Jensen’s fingers or buck his hips up to fuck Jensen’s hand. It’s like a sudden rush of pleasure after Jensen teased him for too long and Jared’s body can barely handle the sensation. He moans Jensen’s name in between whimpering loudly, and Jensen keeps running his mouth with his hot dirty talk, fingers press firmly against that spot inside of Jared, making him come so hard he swears he sees white light behind his eyelids.   
  
Jensen jerks him off for all it’s worth, riding out Jared’s orgasm as he keeps thrusting his hips up.   
  
“Oh my God.” Jared pants as he falls back on the bed, taking long breaths and trying to calm down. Jensen making him come by finger-fucking him while jerking him off might be one of the best orgams he ever had. “That was—  _fuck_.”  
  
He feels Jensen kissing his stomach and legs again, and he lets himself relax under the soft touches, oversensitive from the pleasure. Jensen keeps his fingers inside of him, moving them slowly and making Jared groan happily.   
  
“You okay over there, Jay?” Jensen asks, studying his face, and Jared looks for the hand rubbing his left side to lace their fingers together.  
  
“More than okay, fucking shit. That was damn good.”  
  
He hears Jensen laugh and Jared smiles as response, hips twitching as a third finger brushes his rim.   
  
“And we’re just starting.”   
  
Jensen is so damn right. In less time than Jared expected, Jensen has him hard again and fucking down onto the three fingers opening him up, loudly whimpering again and calling Jensen’s name in between pleas to go harder and faster. Jared makes him stop after a good number minutes though, sure that he’ll end up coming again with just Jensen’s fingers up his ass.   
  
He’s hoping for something else in this round.   
  
Jared manages to change positions with Jensen for what he wants, turning them over and leaving Jensen on his back on the bed while Jared straddles his hips, hands sliding down Jensen’s chest as he takes his time to eye fuck Jensen like he did earlier that day when he saw him walk in.  
  
“That fucking tux you had on? You better make sure to wear it again.” Jared says against Jensen’s mouth and he feels him nod, but he smacks Jensen’s hands away when he tries to settle them on Jared’s hips. “Nuh-uh. No more touching until I get you naked too. I’ve been at a disadvantage so far.”  
  
Jensen still has his pants and underwear on, which is just unfair. Jared has waited more than enough time to see him naked.   
  
There’s a clear difference between how he and Jensen like to operate during sex, since Jared is less teasing and more action. He’s impatient, he can see that now, but he’s also dying to feel Jensen inside of him so he guesses the rush is justified. Jared opens Jensen pants and pulls them down along with his boxers, licking his lips as he sees Jensen’s thick cock curve up, head red and warm to the touch. Jared’s not sure what he wants more: to put it in his mouth or feel it in his ass.   
  
“Remind me to blow you later.” Jared says as he leans down to give Jensen’s dick a quick lick from base to tip. The sound Jensen makes is so rewarding he feels like doing it some more, but again,  _later_.   
  
He’s horny again and he’s beyond ready to ride Jensen.   
  
When he sits down on Jensen’s lap he makes sure to grind their cocks together a couple times, enjoying the look on Jensen’s face as he curses and pants Jared’s name. He could get used to that. Jensen’s hands come up to his hips again, and this time Jared lets him, still fucking down against Jensen’s hard on.   
  
“Ready, baby?” Jensen asks, sliding a hand up Jared’s stomach to rub the come from his first orgasm into his skin, and  _God, that’s hot_. Jared raises his ass as answer, using one hand to give Jensen’s cock an encouraging pump and then guide the head to his hole, lowering himself slowly,  _so very slowly_ , taking Jensen’s dick inch by inch, rolling his hips in little circles and enjoying the feeling of Jensen filling him up.   
  
Jensen’s cock is thick as hell, and Jared is loving every minute of this. Makes him feel constantly full, and he can’t wait to feel Jensen in his mouth and maybe down his throat later in the night.   
  
Jensen’s reaches a hand up to Jared’s face to pull him down to him,  the other resting steady on his hip, helping Jared lower himself on his own time, and Jensen licks his lips and hums thoughtfully.  
  
“I was thinking of how good your cock feels inside of me.” Jared bucks his hips, and Jensen sinks deeper inside of him. They both groan at the same time. “How— how I wanna feel it in my mouth too.”  
  
Jensen curses, and his thumb slides over Jared’s lower lip. “You would look so pretty with your pink lips wrapped around my cock, Jay.”  
  
“Would even consider letting you come on my face.”  
  
He can feel Jensen’s dick _twitch inside of him_  when he says it, and that encourages Jared to slide all the way down, taking all of Jensen’s dick and making both of them moan at the sensation. Jensen’s hands move so he can get a hold of his hips — and he might slide them to touch his ass for good measure for a moment, too, but that only puts Jared even more in the mood — and when Jared gives him a little nod to go ahead, Jensen pulls Jared off of his dick almost completely and then makes him sit back down fast.   
  
It feels too good for Jared to do anything more than moan and scratch down Jensen’s chest.   
  
Jared has practice in this position, there’s just something about riding someone that feels essentially good, too satisfying and always making Jared feel really turned on. He likes bouncing on cock, basically. But with Jensen being the one under him, easily catching up to Jared’s rhythm, thrusting up at the right time when Jared is rocking his hips down, it feels like Jared is experiencing the position all over again for the first time.   
  
Jensen drives him mad with every touch, rubbing his thighs and playing with his nipples again. He pulls Jared down for some kisses and tugs on his hair when Jared clenches around him. It feels so good, Jared has no idea how loud he’s being or how often he’s moaning Jensen’s name. All he cares is the feeling of Jensen’s hands on him, Jensen’s lips on his and Jensen’s cock inside him.  
  
“Could have been my first time.” Jared teases against Jensen’s lips, and Jensen huffs angrily, gripping Jared’s hips a little too hard, and Jared loves it. “Had to make me go and fuck someone else in college when what I really wanted was  _you_.”  
  
He thinks Jensen is gonna flip them over and fuck him against the mattress for a split second, Jared swears he sees the intention in his eyes but he doesn’t do it, letting Jared enjoy the position he picked. The possessive stare doesn’t go away though, making Jared fuck himself down onto Jensen’s cock harder and faster.   
  
“Would like to kill anyone who ever touched you.” Jensen says, almost out of breath, and Jared grins before breaking into another moan. “Wanted to be your first— God, would have loved to be the only one, just me—  _fuck, Jared!_ ”  
  
“Doesn’t matter now.” Jared assures, dropping a couple kisses on Jensen’s mouth. “All yours now.” He whispers, and Jensen squeezes his hips hard again. “All yours Jen, I swear. Haven’t changed that since I said b-before when we were younger, n-never gonna change,  _ah—_ could never let go of you.”  
  
Their movements become more erratic as they keep going, both of them getting closer to the edge. Jensen gets a hold of his cock again, jerking Jared off in time with the thrust of his hips, dick rubbing and brushing against his prostate making Jared cry out for more. Jensen keeps running his mouth the entire time, calling him gorgeous and sweetheart and making Jared feel like he can’t take it any longer, needs to come,  _it’s too much, too fast, too good._    
  
He comes groaning Jensen’s name and scratching his chest again, digging his nails into skin and leaving red half moon marks in his wake. His legs are shaking and he can barely breathe, sweaty and messy with his hair getting all over his face. His orgasm seems to last forever, lingering and leaving a pleasurable sensation everywhere as Jared keeps riding Jensen. He wants to let go and lay down on top of him, already exhausted, but Jensen made sure to make him come first, so now Jared wants to get him there too. Besides, he’s waited years to feel Jensen come inside of him.   
  
Jared keeps rocking his hips and repeating Jensen’s name, clenching his inner muscles around Jensen until comes too, holding Jared’s hips down and shuddering, repeating ‘ _Jay, Jay, Jay’_  like a mantra, like he can’t get enough, and Jared has never felt so pleased in his life.   
  
He lays down on top of Jensen as they both come down, and feeling Jensen’s arms wrapping around him feels so rewarding, and he finds himself nuzzling against Jensen’s neck and taking deep breaths. Jensen kisses his forehead and brushes his hair off his forehead carefully, making Jared dizzy with how sweet it is, and he kisses the freckles on Jensen’s shoulders and neck. They stay like that for a while, hugging each other and dropping lazy kisses here and there, nuzzling and whispering, with Jensen making sure Jared is alright and Jared telling him how he’s always alright when Jensen is there.   


 

—

 

  
Jensen kissing down his neck wakes him up, and the first thing Jared notices is that it’s morning, the light hitting his face and making him blink, momentarily blinded.   
  
“Well, it was about time.” Jensen teases from behind him, kissing his earlobe as Jared smiles, stretching his legs as much as he can while he yawns.   
  
“You fucked the energy out of me last night, leave me alone.” Jared elbows him gently in the stomach and Jensen huffs, smacking his ass. He could get used to waking up like this every single day.   
  
“Three rounds and some blowjobs. Not bad for our first night.”  
  
_First night_. It leaves open the possibility of them doing it again and Jared is so glad to hear that.   
  
“What time is it?” He whispers after a moment of silence, turning on the bed so he can face Jensen and nuzzle his shoulder. Jensen kisses his nose and Jared laughs, hiding his face away. “Just tell me the hour and let me sleep, Ackles.”  
  
“It’s almost ten, grandpa.”   
  
“You have some nerve calling me that considering you’re almost  _thirty_.” Jared opens one eye, biting his lip to keep from laughing when he sees Jensen’s unamused face. “You’re getting old, Jensen.”   
  
“Why do I put up with your bratty self again?” Jensen pinches his sides and Jares squirms away from it, but Jensen easily hugs his hips and pulls him back.  
  
“Because I have an ass that won’t quit?” He mumbles, half asleep and making Jensen laugh way too hard. “It’s not funny! You know that’s true, you kept— groping it last night and all.”  
  
“You do have a cute perky ass.” Jensen kisses his earlobe again and Jared nods in agreement, happy that they got that clear. “Ass that should get out of bed before they come kicking us out.”  
  
That makes Jared open his eyes again, remembering more details from last night he’d decided to ignore to fully enjoy his time with Jensen.  _Holy shit, this is Jeff’s room_. The room Jeff paid for. And him and Jensen locked themselves in it all night. Where are Jeff and Adrianne? Did they leave already?   
  
“Did someone come looking for us?” Jared asks in a whisper, like someone’s outside pressing their ear against the door waiting for confirmation on their recent activities. Jensen shakes his head and Jared lets out a sigh of relief.   
  
“Not at all. You got a couple texts, I think from Chad, and I turned off my phone all together.” Jared feels really reassured by Jensen’s calm voice, making it all so simple. “We’re fine, baby.”  
  
He’s also glad that the pet names are not exclusive to sex. They fall silent for a while, only touching and casually kissing each other until Jensen speaks up again.   
  
“You know what I was thinking?” Jared looks up at him from where he’s using Jensen’s chest as pillow. “That time, when you were telling me about Stephen and I told you heartbreak was a bitch to deal with?” He nods, remembering it very well. “Back then I didn’t know what heartbreak really was, but after you left, I understood what it felt like.”  
  
It’s bittersweet. Both because Jared now know that he means that much to Jensen and because Jensen was in pain because of him. He never wanted that, but to be fair he never expected Jensen to get any kind of romantic feelings for him.   
  
Jared hugs him tight, kissing Jensen’s chest.  
  
“Is this supposed to be us fucking goodbye?”  
  
Jensen is brushing Jared’s hair with his fingers now, playing with it and helping Jared relax. Of course he would see the idea somewhere, Jensen has always been too intuitive when it comes to things involving Jared. He’s not surprised Jensen’s asking.  
  
“That was the original plan.” He nods, nuzzling Jensen’s shoulder as he hugs him back.  
  
“And now?”  
  
There’s doubt in Jensen’s voice, not obvious, but Jared can still detect it. He wouldn’t blame Jared if he left right now, if he decided to step out and leave things like this between them now that they are in good terms. Jared knows Jensen wouldn’t hold it against him or make him feel bad for it, if that’s what Jared truly wanted.   
  
That’s why Jared needs to make this really clear for him.  
  
“Now I understand that I was wrong.” It’s beyond clear for Jared now, and he can’t believe he didn’t see that from the start. “I told myself I couldn’t fall in love with you again, but I never stopped loving you, not really.” He smiles, no longer bitter at that feeling. Jared knows what he wants and who he loves, and it’s about time he stops running from it. “No matter what I do, I can’t say goodbye to you. I can’t get over you because I don’t want to get over you, Jensen.”  
  
It feels good to say it out loud, to accept it to himself and to say it to Jensen. Jared is done hiding his feelings for him. Running from Jensen was never the good choice, because all Jared really wanted was to go back to him. Now he’s finally where he was supposed to be all this time: with Jensen.  
  
“Please don’t leave.” Is the next thing Jensen says, surprising Jared as he holds him tight again, pressing their foreheads together and taking Jared’s breath away. “I can’t lose you again, Jay.”  
  
“I’m not going anywhere.” He promises right away. “At least not without you.”  
  
Jensen gives him the most radiant smile he’s ever seen, happiness so clear in his face it makes Jared want to cry. He pulls him close for a kiss, and this one is slow and full of meaning, just how you would expect their first one to be like. Slow, no need to rush, and no regrets. Jensen traces his face with his thumbs and Jared opens his mouth to let Jensen lick into it. It’s a sweet kiss, and exactly what they need in this moment. They keep going after that, kiss after kiss, until Jared completely loses the count and focuses on enjoying the feeling.   
  
He’s starting to kiss down Jensen’s neck when he suddenly lets out a laugh.   
  
“What are you laughing at?” Jared asks, poking Jensen’s stomach, looking curious.  
  
Jensen keeps laughing and then gives Jared another huge smile.   
  
“Wait until Jeff finds out I’m in love with his little brother.” He whistles, clearly already picturing how it’s going to go down with his best friend. “I’m gonna have to give him a long explanation about that one.”  
  
Jared is ready to agree because yeah, that’s gonna be some big explanation for his brother. He’s the only one who never knew anything about them. He didn’t know the real reason why Jared left early to New York or why he always avoided Jensen. Jeff doesn’t know anything. So Jared is ready to agree, but then he repeats Jensen’s words in his head and it finally sinks in.   
  
“Wait. You’re in— _what?!_ ” He sits on the bed right away, turning to look at Jensen with an open mouth, shaking his head in disbelief. Jensen blinks, unabashed, like he doesn’t understand what’s the fuss about. “What?!” Jared repeats, shaking Jensen’s shoulder. Oh no, no. He can’t pull that out of fucking nowhere and then acts like nothing happen.   
  
“Oh” Jensen frowns a little bit, but Jared knows he’s trying to contain a smile.  _Motherfucker_. Jared can barely breath. “I thought me telling you I couldn’t lose you and all that made the  _‘I love you’_  part implicit, baby.”  
  
Jensen is in love with him. Lifetime-crush, all Jared ever wanted in life-Jensen is in love with him. The feeling that gives Jared is surreal, like he can’t fit enough euphoria in his body so he’s just left there almost catatonic. Jensen. Loves.  _Him_.  
  
And he let it all fall on Jared like  _that_.   
  
“Oh my God!” Jared yells, smacking Jensen’s arm and making him break out in laughter again. “I’ll give you implicit! You bastard, sneaking it up on me like that!”  
  
Jensen grabs his arm and easily shifts them on the bed, pinning Jared down and making him try to squirm away, not giving Jensen the pleasure of laughing too, biting the inside of his cheeks. Jared honestly can’t believe how good he feels. He could lay down here with a smile on his face for hours, just repeating to himself over and over again that Jensen loves him.  
  
The sensation of Jensen starting to tickle him pulls Jared back into reality, yelping and trying to get Jensen’s hands away from his stomach as he laughs and tries to squirm away.  
  
“Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Jensen asks loudly, poking and tickling Jared’s sides.  
  
Jared kicks and tries to tickle Jensen back, covering his face to hide his laughter.  
  
“I already did, it was implicit!”  
  
“Don’t be a little brat!”  
  
“I hope Jeff doesn’t give you his blessing!” Jared howls between laughs, trying to breathe with Jensen on top of him, not letting up with the damn tickling. It’s pretty one sided, considering Jared can’t even get a jab in.  “You’re the  _worst_. I hate you!”   
  
“No you don’t!” Jensen looks amused by Jared’s tantrum, leaning down to press kisses to Jared’s face.  
  
“Justin would  _never_ bully me this way.” He manages to say between taking deep breaths and Jensen stops for a couple seconds just to give Jared a perfect fake offended face, shaking his head slowly. Jared chuckles and waggles his eyebrows at him, proud of his comeback abilities clearly getting to Jensen.   
  
“Oh now you’re  _on_ , Padalecki!”   
  
Jensen moves back on top of him, and Jared isn't sure how long he tickles him — probably until Jared’s face is too red and he can’t do anything else than lay there laughing — or at what point it turns into kissing again. He cups Jensen’s face to spread kisses on his cheeks and nose, pleased to feel Jensen smiling under his attention. Jared whispers  _‘I love you’_ between kisses, and Jensen says it right back, making Jared beam and think that the wedding invitation and entire week he had to spend there actually didn’t screw him over that bad. 


	5. Epilogue

Jared huffs, switching all the packages he’s carrying to his left hand as he attempts to push the door open without using up too much effort. Maybe they should have brought the car, but Jared always liked walking around there, and the apartment isn’t that far away. Not to mention that the doctor said it was good for Jared to walk at least twenty minutes every day.   
   
“You couldn’t wait for me, huh?” Jensen clicks his tongue when he gets there, quickly grabbing the bags from Jared’s hand and then opening the door for him, pressing a kiss to the side of his forehead. “Stubborn as always.”  
   
“I can carry bags just fine!” Jared protests, but he’s actually grateful Jensen got there to help. He turns around to press a kiss to Jensen’s lips as a thank you before walking into Milo’s coffee shop, followed by Jensen and the thousand of things he bought that day. Jared gets kinda over-excited with the shopping these days. “I’m pregnant, not sick.”  
   
“Last time I checked, pregnant people could still ask for help, you know?” Jensen keeps insisting and Jared shrugs, one hand moving to his stomach as he makes his way towards their usual table.   
   
He’s six months along, but Jensen already acts like the due day is next week. He has an entire three months left for their baby to grow and Jared’s bump to get even bigger. S _urprise surprise,_  if Jensen was overprotective with Jared before, go figure how he is even more so now that Jared is pregnant. He doesn’t let him carry anything ever, doesn’t let Jared cook, doesn’t let Jared clean around their apartment.   
   
This is what happens when two people completely forget about condoms during amazing sex at a wedding reception and then the same two people also forget how one of them is a carrier and that kind of thing can happen when there’s no protection between them. Jared wasn’t on The Pill during that time considering he wasn’t seeing anyone regularly, and both he and Jensen were too distracted thinking about how they were finally sleeping together to stop and think about condoms. Not that Jared regrets it, though. He loves kids, and now is having one with Jensen.   
   
He’s actually pretty glad they forgot about the condom. And yes, it might be a little soon into their relationship, but they were never good doing things in the right order. Jensen says that those six years apart with them still hung up on each other kind of count, so it’s technically the perfect time for them to have a baby if Jared thinks about it.   
   
All Jared cares is that Jensen is just as happy as he is about the pregnancy.   
   
“Finally!” Chad says from the table when he seems them. “Oh fuck Jared, how many things can you keep buying for my goddaughter? I’m surprised there’s still anything left for the rest of the babies in New York.”  
   
“It might be a godson, we still don’t know.” Sandy corrects him. “Leave him alone, all the things he buys are perfect anyway.” She coos when Jared gets close, standing up to kiss him on the cheek and then making him sit by her side, starting to talk to the baby bump right away.   
   
“I bet Jensen doesn’t say a word to stop him either.” Adrianne chuckles, taking a sip of her coffee. She and Jeff are visiting for the week; now that Jared is expecting a baby Adrianne wants to be there as much as possible to help them decorate the room and go around with Jared buying so many things Jensen keeps wondering where they’re gonna fit it all.   
   
Jeff moves from his seat to help Jensen set down the bags Jared handed him, plus the ones Jensen was carrying already. He’s the one who had to get all the news dumped on him out of nowhere, coming back from his honeymoon not only to find that Jared had a crush on Jensen since he was young and that his best friend was in love with his little brother now, but also to get informed two months after that Jared was now pregnant.   
   
He’s taking it pretty good so far, Jared thinks, but sometimes he does complain about how weird it is. ‘ _My best friend and my little brother.’_    
   
“Hey, whatever mommy wants…” Jensen jokes, making them all laugh while he sits down at Jared’s other side, kissing him right over one of his dimples.   
   
Milo moves from the table to go get them their usual drinks. No coffee for Jared, thought, but a lot of free pieces of cake and all kinds of pastries as compensation. He’s been craving sweets and candies since the third month like crazy. Jensen jokes that he’s cursed the baby with his sweet tooth.  
   
Jensen moved to New York with Jared even before they realized Jared was pregnant. They said they wanted to be together, and the only reason Jensen was still living in Dallas was because going back to Austin gave him too many sad memories of his mom and he had no other place to go. Now he has Jared though, and finding a job there with Jensen’s recommendation letters from the places he worked before was a piece of cake. Hospitals usually fight to get doctors like Jensen, so finding employment wasn’t problem.   
   
As Sandy keeps talking to the bump and Milo arrives with three desserts for Jared, he moves in his chair to lean against Jensen and use his shoulder as pillow. Jensen laughs, pressing a kiss to his forehead.   
   
“Move your perky ass.” He jokes, and Jared gasps.  
   
“You love my ass!”  
  
“Yes I do.” Jensen hums, moving one hand to place it over Jared’s stomach.   
   
Jeff groans in front of them, covering his ears and looking down. Adrianne and Chad are the ones who laugh the loudest, way too amused by Jeff’s distress. “I still can’t get used to my best friend saying that kind of stuff to my little brother!”  
   
Jensen smirks, moving one hand over Jared’s shoulder and pulling him closer. “You’ll have to get used to me flirting with your little brother, sharing a bed with your little brother, having kids with your little brother…”  
   
Jeff groans some more and Jared chuckles, leaning against Jensen again and nuzzling against his neck. Jensen keeps rubbing his stomach absently, making Jared sigh contently. He loves being with Jensen, loves living with him too. For a moment he was worried they were moving too fast, but it turned out that worked for them too. It wasn’t too fast, after all that time, being together is what they both needed. Not to mention, Jared kinda saw a box with a ring between Jensen’s socks last week when he was organizing some clean clothes, though he put it right back where he found it without saying anything. _He can’t fucking wait for that either._  
   
He gasps suddenly, looking down at his stomach and then at Jensen, who’s staring down at his hand on Jared’s bump like he can’t believe what just happened.  
   
“Oh my God.” Jared beams, “Did you feel that?!” He almost yells, making some people turn to look. Chad asks him what the fuck is going on and Jared smiles, rubbing his stomach along with Jensen’s hand.   
   
“The baby kicked!” Jensen explains with an excited voice, almost freaking out. They all start to ask for turns to feel that too right away, but Jensen doesn’t look like he’s about to let anyone else get a turn anytime soon, leaning down to press his face to Jared’s stomach, trying to feel the baby kick again.   
   
He looks like a kid at Christmas, big smile on his face as he looks up at Jared, who laughs softly and brushes his hair when Jensen kisses his stomach and starts talking to Jared’s belly, asking their baby to ‘ _please do that again._ _’_  
   
As Jensen keeps rubbing Jared’s stomach, Jared thinks that even if Jensen took away all Jared wanted when he was a teenager on that night, years later he made sure to come back to give him more that Jared could ever dream of.

  
   
The End


End file.
